I graduated from graduate school in 2012 and worked as a breast surgeon in a maternal and child hospital in Chengdu. I was born in a working-age family, my parents are more traditional people. They were raised by milk powder and had no sensory impression on their breasts. Because of the puberty, I began to notice the girls chest. Some of the older girls were stared at by some ruffian, and I saw the first time a boy put his hand into a girls coat. Later, like the vast majority of post-80s, I began to find myself in the acquisition of sexual knowledge. Through physiological health textbooks, health care of family doctors, even some three levels of Hong Kong and Taiwan films and online statements about sex, I began to have a vague but unscientific outlook on sex. Until I studied clinical medicine and read a lot of books on sexology in the library, I found that we were missing scientific sex education from childhood, which could lead to a lot of sexual and physiological problems in adulthood. These books are not accessible in high school, and I feel like I am constantly looking at them. I remember when there was a public welfare organization called a child hotline, which was a special answer to these psychological problems. I was still curious about it. I had to ask people for half a day. College graduation practice, I found that the breast Department relative to other department of general surgery surgery risk is much smaller, the difficulty is not particularly large, the patients compliance is good, I decided to engage in the breast after the determination. One When I first arrived at the maternal and child hospital, I was not very accustomed to it. Prior to the general hospital practice in contact with all breast cancer patients, to this hospital to find all the mastitis of the mother and son of the month (Sichuan: parturients after childbirth), fewer doctors, patients are not much, fewer operations. The director asked us to go to the bedside of each patient, at least to communicate with her 30 to 40 minutes, mainly by hand to teach her to breast milk. We have a good relationship with the patients. There are many patients who were connected 5 years ago. My parents do not understand medicine. They know that when I was in the breast department, I felt that the Department was clean, not too tired and very supportive. My girlfriend, my current wife, was also a medical student. She understood it very well. But some of my friends who didnt study medicine would say Wow, youre blessed. In fact, in the eyes of doctors, the concept of men and women is not like what others see. When I look at the patient, my mind will shift. Some people will ask me: you see too much, do you have no sense of your breasts? In fact, it is not, or there is a feeling. When I meet people who are good looking or sexy stars, I will also feel the natural person of the non-medical field. But when I go to see a patient, I change it to a doctors perspective, and I wont feel that way. If I feel this way again, how can I see patients? How can I see dozens of hundreds of patients a day? ? However, I am embarrassed if I see a familiar person. Before seeing a doctor, a little embarrassed, the familiar person, I have seen her today, will see her often later, I do not think about it, and would think she would think that way? For example, the women teachers in this hospital wear a white gown to see a doctor. She feels nothing, I think there is something. But in fact, it was just a moment. When she was ready, I immediately entered the role. Our director is also a male. When he is in hospital every year, he will see a large number of doctors who have discovered the breast problem. Two There are 10 doctors in our department, and there are 7 male doctors. In the national view, the breast department is also a male doctor. Because previous medicine has not yet been finely divided, the breast department belongs to the Department of general surgery. A woman who works in Department of general surgery is very tough and suitable to use as a man, so most of them are male. My daily outpatient process is that after the patient comes in, I understand some basic situations, so that patients can untie the clothes for me to check. My name looks like a woman. Usually the patient just pushed the door open and took a look. He immediately went out and said to the outside person, its a man. I heard a lot of that, and I pretended not to hear it. By the time I came in, some patients would have seen me as a male doctor, so young, and had to put her clothes on, so that they would be embarrassed. When I saw her embarrassed, I would ask her, do you need me to show you? She said that if I didnt need it, I would write a refusal to check the body in the column. I never force or induce patients to let me check the body, there is no need, this is their personal will. But then she could only describe her symptoms to me, lacking a new link. And the patient really cares about the male doctors inquiring. I told her that when a woman doctor is on duty, you can come back at that time. If you want to see it now and feel inconvenient, I can call a nurse in. If you think the nurse is not convenient, you can call a friend in. But I rarely say this in a long way, and as long as she looks ugly, I basically will not persuade. Most outpatients do not want their husbands to come in. Some of the patients husbands were outside. I asked the patient to take the inspection report. She asked me to wait for a while and then went outside to call her husband. Their husbands did not come in, and they were avoiding it. He can let his wife come in and let me check, but he doesnt want to watch me check his wife. Three In fact, there is not much difference between women and doctors in the Department of mammary gland, and sometimes even male doctors know more about women than women doctors. I have met some of the breast cancer patients. When she went to other hospitals, the woman said to her, youll cut it all, and give you a change. When women communicate with women, they think you are the same as me. What do you think of me? But when a male doctor exchanges with a female patient, he will change his mind: if I think so, will the patient be different from what I think? I would say to them, you have cancer of your own, and you want to throw away your entire breasts. But after that, you are a woman. Your breasts are gone. What does your husband think? ? The effect of modified radical mastectomy and breast conserving plus radiotherapy is the same in long cut breast, and it is also the same in long-term survival and recurrence rate. But some people cant accept it. She tells me that I want to cut it all off, especially in the country. She doesnt listen to what medical probabilities you say, and shes hard to cut the clean and the better. So the male doctors in the breast department have certain advantages in this respect. He will look at the womans body from the perspective of a man. But in the process of communicating with patients, I also found some things that I could hardly relate to as men. In 2013, our department organized a fellowship. At that time, some patients with breast cancer and lactation mastitis came up to tell their story of treatment. What I did not think of was that, compared to those with breast cancer, the patients who had breast mastitis were as much suffering as they had been suffering, saying that the doctor advised themselves to return to milk (which means to let the baby weaned no more milk), and that they could not continue to feed their children to tears. There are also some mother-in-law saying something wrong, or the husband does not understand, they are very helpless. After working for a long time, I can understand the patients idea. They feel that they cant communicate with children, and they cant communicate with each other emotionally. The only thing they interact with is breastfeeding. When the baby was born, she felt that he could feed him and be able to meet his skin. This is the greatest love for him. If you suddenly break your milk, you will feel that you have cut off the connection with your child. Especially now that the state breeds breastfeeding is also very strong. If the child is not fed well, he will not be able to do well in the future. There was a patient who impressed me very much. Her breast abscess had been cut twice in the field. In the lactation period, the two blades were not yet good, and there were 2 pustules. After the puncture, her original blades came out of the milk every day, and the milk kept pouring out of the incision. It is hard to grow with milk in that mouth every day. I suggest she return to milk, but she doesnt want to. She said, even if I do, how much can I feed? I said, well, I respect your choice, and you continue to feed. As a mother, in order to be able to breastfeed can bear that big pain, to do those violent prolactation, or to drain the knife, even the incision is still leakage of milk, they are also willing to feed. I could feel the greatness of motherhood, and I suddenly had a deeper understanding of the motherly love paid by my mother and wife. A male doctor like me will gradually change his mind after a long period of contact with the patient. Im also trying to try to keep the patient feeding. If there is no way, then it has to be changed to talk to her: not that breastfeeding children must be better than milk - fed children, before those children, drink milk powder is not now advanced, grow up is not the same good? Four At the end of last year, I was on duty every night. In fact, I always shouted at midnight, and I felt unhappy in my heart. But to give them a look, I feel, ah, too miserable, how can you make a breast like this? Sometimes I feel unbelievable, before I met a female patient in a rural area, her two sides of the breast had been completely asymmetrical, the sicken area was swollen, some places were broken, she came to see. She kept the tumor in her body for 10 years. After seeing it, I was shocked. How could it be possible for a person to wash himself? Dont you see what your breasts look like when you bathe? I have encountered too many such patients, sometimes feel particularly sorry. Like these breast cancer patients, why dont they come early? Why do people who are victims of violence suffer from such pain? They may feel insignificant, but mainly because they do not understand medical knowledge. In the past few years in the breast department, I think breasts are really important for women. Like the womb, it loses it. Many women feel that they are not women or imperfect. But the breast is not like the uterus. After the uterus is cut, no one can see it, only oneself knows it is gone. The breasts are prominent on the surface of the body. After they are cut, they will leave a scar. Others can not tell if they can see it. Can they accept it? Can sexual life be satisfactory after total resection of breast cancer? Its all a problem. Now the China anticancer association has produced a guide to sexual life satisfaction after breast cancer surgery (the guidelines for the diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer and the guidance of postoperative sexual rehabilitation in the 2015 Edition), and some research psychology people are concerned about this group. The disharmony of sexual life after total resection may lead to family disharmony, then affect ones emotions and affect the disease again. This is a series of reactions. Five Before I graduated from graduate school, I spent 3 months in the breast Department of Wuhan Xiehe, when I met all patients with breast cancer. One patient, after the first dressing change after cutting off the bilateral breasts, my teacher and I could not help crying. The patient just finished giving birth and became a mother, but he lost both breasts. During dressing change, she looked down and saw nothing. There was only a nearly 20 centimeter hole. After the full cut of the breast, the nerve in her chest was broken, the skin was numb, and the change was not painful, but the heart pain was much bigger than the pain in the body. The most important phrase she said at that time was: Why me? Later, whenever a patient asked me, why did I have this disease? I would ask her, then who do you think is the disease? No one can predict illness. Some people cross the past with a positive attitude and usher in another peak in their lives. Some people cant get over, and they cant stand still in that place. Genes are the most important diseases in life, coupled with the environment and some induced factors, and finally take a probability. That is to say, to give you and others the same gene, in the same environment, also give you a stimulus, others are not ill, you get sick, who do you look for? ? Actually, there are some cancer genes in my family. Will I get cancer later? I do not know, I will not deliberately do what maintenance, normal life is good, think also useless. If I do, I will accept it. On the day of 2017, I was on duty in the hospital and I watched Luos inter Year speech. He said that our generation after 80 is a generation of cracks, at that time he mentioned a solution to the predicament of survival, called U subsistence, summed up is to bring information, not system, any time, free cooperation. I realized I didnt have to support my career with the titles that looked tall, and I hope my way of science will bring me this U life. If the patients will trust me, they will not go to the society with a stick that can stand the pain of their own breasts, dont worry too much about the breast pain that cant be done with the eight pole of the breast cancer, and do not neglect the insensitive bag in the breast. The source of this article: surging news editor: Zhang Xianchao _NN9310 On the day of 2017, I was on duty in the hospital and I watched Luos inter Year speech. He said that our generation after 80 is a generation of cracks, at that time he mentioned a solution to the predicament of survival, called U subsistence, summed up is to bring information, not system, any time, free cooperation. I realized I didnt have to support my career with the titles that looked tall, and I hope my way of science will bring me this U life. If the patients will trust me, they will not go to the society with a stick that can stand the pain of their own breasts, dont worry too much about the breast pain that cant be done with the eight pole of the breast cancer, and do not neglect the insensitive bag in the breast.