This is a passage from Baidu encyclopedia entry Yang Renrong. This entry was first created in 2009 and has finally been updated this year.
In August of this year, Yang was diagnosed with cancer. She turned to the media for help, hoping to see her son again before leaving. In September, Yang Renrong, who saw the report, finally made a phone call from his family. This 9 year old call is very chaotic. The two ends of the phone are crying and intermittent.
Since then, Yang Renrong has never disappointed his parents in his studies. In 2003, he became the champion of Science in the college entrance examination in the county. There were more than ten tables at the thank teachers banquet.
In the eyes of relatives, Yang Renrong was introverted, gentle and fond of reading. The walls of the house were full of his certificates, and finally they could not be stuck. He is the best child in his family and is always regarded as the target of his peers.
At that time, everyone believed that this undisputed good child would have a bright future.
There seems to be some signs of lost contact. After going to college, Yang Renrong hardly volunteered to call home, every time his parents called. After graduation, his parents went to his residence in Beijing. He lied about working in a bank. Later, parents could not hear a lie.
In order to find out about his sons news, Yang Chongsheng ran 5 trips to Beijing in recent years and found four or five police stations. Yang Chongshengs first trip to Beijing was to send his son to university. The train had to sit all night, and he felt no pain at all. When he sent his son to school, he hurried away, and there was work to be done at his home construction site.
Over the years, the couple became numb from worry and anger. In 2013, they went to Beijing again, but their son still had no news. They visited Tiananmen, zoo and National Museum for the first time. No way, thats all.
Days must continue. As long as it doesnt rain, Yang Chongsheng will go to work on the construction site, sometimes to demolish the house, sometimes to build a house. Sometimes, he would go to his sons former school to help build a new teaching building and a playground. Every March of the lunar calendar, Wu Xinu classifies, decorticates and cleans the newly harvested bamboo shoots and stands busy until the early morning. Yang Chongsheng once told his son, Without reading, there will be no future, but to farm and work, just like us.
Later, Yang Renrongs sister married, gave birth to two children, and the children made a lot of noise.
Just my son did not come back, everything is false. According to the custom, the boys in the family should live in a room located in the east, Yang Chongsheng and his wife have been kept for their son, the curtain is also specially chosen by the mother, more expensive. The hat and scarf that he gave to his mother at university was kept intact, and Miss Wu could not bear to wear it. Yang Renrong didnt like to take photos and didnt leave any photos. There was a photograph of a group of people standing in the middle with a red paper in his hand, as if it were some kind of reward. The mother amplified him and made a picture of himself.
When processing bamboo shoots this year, Wu Xinu felt some pain in her waist. She didnt care. She was finally diagnosed with leiomyosarcoma of the uterus, a stubborn cancer. She told the media that she didnt want to cure because her son had not found it yet.
Seeing the report, Yang Renrong finally went home.
No one knows why he didnt go home these years. The following is Yang Renrongs account.
Books are my best friends.
I grew up thinking that learning is easy. In high school, exams are basically the first second. So I took the science examination in the county entrance examination. I was not surprised at all.
The college entrance examination is the first card in life. I walked across it very easily. When I was young, I thought learning was the most important thing, but I didnt want to learn why. Its just that people around me are telling me to study hard and I happen to be good at it. A good learner seems to have some privilege. It is an example for everyone.
My father and brother are 6, and most of my uncles are not in senior high school. Because of my good study, I had a strong sense of pride among my peers when I was a child. Now it seems that it is actually a kind of vanity. I remember that there was a school flower in high school, and I was with a poor student. Every time I see them chatting, I feel a little sick.
Our village has a Yangs ancestral temple, there used to be an ordinary school masters degree card in it for future generations to look up. If I get the diploma from Air China, I can put it in. My mom values that.
Up till now, I havent got the diploma. Before graduation, there was a physics experiment that did not go to the exam, and finally the study. Beijing Airlines still keeps my school status. When the exam is passed, it will give me my diploma.
In college, books are my best friends. At that time, I could read a few books a day and find a good book to be overjoyed. Social needs in life have been diluted. I have nothing to do with good students in college, with those good books, the people around are very mediocre, superficial.
I can hardly feel the sense of inferiority brought about by my rural identity. I dont care about material comparisons at all, because the brain is not on that channel.
My mom really wanted me to pass the final exam and get my diploma. I dont understand. If my mother doesnt mention it, I will never think of it in my head. It doesnt matter to me whether I graduate or not. I think even if you get a masters degree or doctors degree, whats the use?
The psychological forbidden zone that can not be touched.
When I was freshman, I knew what I could do after graduation. I worked with drawings every day in factories. Im very upset. Imagine an Airbus A380 involving hundreds of thousands of parts, thousands of designers, one person responsible for dozens of parts of the design, manufacturing, improvement. This job is like a screw in a huge system, and you are nailed to that place.
When I first graduated, I felt very capable, very thoughtful, and could earn millions of dollars a year if I started a business. But capital accumulation is needed before starting a business. I remember the first interview I received came from a very large advertising company, and the interviewer asked me to write a sales copy for a product in half an hour. I had never touched it before, so I just wrote it. Later the person in charge told me directly that you could go.
Another interview I was particularly depressed. At first, the other party heard that I was from Beihang, and thought it was OK. During the interview, they asked some very professional mechanical questions. At that time, I was confused. The people who interviewed me next to school were very average and answered. The examiner looked at me without speaking. To tell you the truth, I didnt really prepare for many interviews.
Then an enterprise selling military products hired me to be an office clerk, and I resigned within a week. I just dont want to do it, I cant wait, I dont like it, I dont know why.
What I want to do is to get some small business on my own. You dont believe it. I once searched the Internet for the keyword entrepreneurship and saw an opportunity to tear down walls. I spent 1,000 yuan on a drilling rig. I invited a man who knew the technology to have a meal and asked him to teach me how to operate it. Then I went to the place where the wall was to be demolished and sent out small advertisements, mainly in the West Three Banners. Its easy to get a business and earn four hundred or five hundred yuan a day. But the customer is unstable. He has to run more than 20 kilograms of drill rig away for a long distance. He is very tired. I didnt do it for half a month. After graduation, I had changed more than ten jobs, not one for more than half a year.
One of my best projects is to partner with two people to do SMS business after two or three years of graduation. Within a week, we each earned twenty thousand yuan. But soon, the one who earned the most in our peers was arrested, and we did not dare to continue to do so.
Its hard to get mixed up in a big city like Beijing. Maybe I am not lucky enough, and the execution is not strong enough.
I served as a waiter at a western restaurant. I was responsible for ordering dishes, cleaning tables and turning tables. Wages were not high enough to rise to four thousand and five hundred yuan after being promoted to small managers. If it is not for the accumulation of funds for entrepreneurship, who will run to be a waiter?
The owner of the restaurant is a Japanese, very strict with details, such as tableware a few centimeters from the edge of the table, what words to say when serving, what tone to use. I remember a greeting lady who always wore a red dress, and when the guests left the shop they had to look at them with a smile and bow from a fixed angle. There is a sense of being enslaved. I now feel a bit scared at that time.
I occasionally wonder why I have read so many books and why I wipe the table here.
I want to succeed. After graduation, societys criteria for judging a persons success have changed from study to substance, saying that some of the empty essentials are useless. I feel a lot of pressure from parents, relatives and society, which I do not want to bear.
At first, it was only by accident that I did not contact my family. I lost my cell phone, and I couldnt find all my contact. But the main reason is that I do not want to shoulder this responsibility. I began to resist contact with my family. For a long time, it became a habit. Later, I was afraid to face my family.
That became a forbidden area in my mind. It was a fatal illness and it hurt when I touched it. If you hurt more times, you wont touch it. Although the lonely state outside makes me uncomfortable and stressed, I just wont touch it. Subconsciously avoid thinking about it. Only when I dream occasionally do I dream of my family. When I asked my parents, I lied every time. Sometimes there is an impulse to go home in the new year, but it never takes that step.
My mother often says thank the media, I do not speak, but in fact, there is a little bit of heart. Because, to be honest, it is very difficult for me to overcome this kind of demons. Its like smoking addiction. Its hard to quit. I used to tell others that even if my mother was not sick, I would definitely go home after making money. But I do understand that I may never go home again. Because in my heart, the ridge is hard to cross.
You seldom see me like this freak?
I think I am an idealist.
My ultimate ambition is to be a physicist.
When I was in college, I studied quantum mechanics by myself. Its almost forgotten now, but I remember the excitement of thinking about things that are different from making money in real life.
In the next semester, the teacher asked us to think about the whole fluid mechanics process of raindrops from forming to falling. I was at the Lotus Pool of Beihang, thinking from two oclock in the afternoon to ten oclock in the evening, without pen and paper, thinking purely with my brain. I thought of the ocean from raindrops, and then to the universe. When I woke up, it was already dark. For eight hours I had no sense of what was going on outside. I had no idea of who was next to me, what was going on, or when it was dark. Its really cool. Its a special experience.
Later, when I went back to my hometown, I didnt know how to talk to a cousin about it. He couldnt understand it at all. Finally, I didnt talk. Talking to physics with family members, they would say, Hey, go to KTV, hey.
When I came home, I went to a relatives house to drink or KTV. My cousins basically go there every day. I went there two times, I really couldnt bear it, I didnt go in the second time, I left at the door. I can only sing two songs, one is Zhang Xinzhes White Moonlight and the other is the Yings Silence.
My mother always urged me to go with them, and let me be outgoing, not even let me read. I was all laughing and crying.
I remember reading an interesting book when I was in college to see whether aliens existed. After I saw it, I suddenly had an impulse to search for aliens. I wanted to study this problem all my life.
The idea lasted for about a week. Then I felt my impulse was stupid. I have never talked to anyone about this idea, except once I finished drinking with my colleagues. If a thing can not see any practical significance and social benefits, but also to adhere to a lifetime, ordinary people will not do that. Idealists are usually naive in the face of realists. I try to speak as hard as I can to make others feel childish.
I also like to read philosophical books, Kant, Hagel, Nietzsche and Wang Yangming. Its a lot of fun to read those books, but its interesting. But the book that influenced me most was physics.
I divide the book into four grades. First class is the essence of human wisdom, such as philosophy and physics. The two grade is derived from first class, such as teaching materials. Three wait four wait is some successful learn what. When I was in college, I only looked at the first two grades. When I entered the library, it was like a mouse in a rice bowl. Sometimes I forgot to eat.
I also wanted to write a science fiction a few years ago about how humans would be trapped on Earth if their resources were exhausted without leaving the Earths technology. For several months, I sat in front of the computer at midnight after work and wrote 50,000 or 60,000 words, but I didnt write them down. I dont care about emotions in writing novels, but characters and plots are just signs. I appreciate technology and feel that technology decides everything.
This spiritual pleasure makes me feel that life is rather dull and vulgar. Sometimes when I eat, I suddenly wonder why I am doing such a boring thing. I have never had anything special to eat, and take away the food at random.
I read a book more than ten times, Walden. I appreciate the state of life written in the book. I used to think that when I got old, I could go back to my hometown and build a classical house, put up a high-power telescope, and see the stars at night. I like to see stars since I was little, because I have a lot of fantasy. My WeChat head and wallpaper are all starry universes. Its interesting to think about the light that we see coming from stars hundreds of millions of light-years away.
Thats the perfect life I imagined. So you ask me to drink and play mahjong regularly, which is contrary to my brain.
Walden is divided into several categories: heroic and beggar. I want a heroic success.
When I was in University, I occasionally went out to play, and without friends, I went alone. I remember there are three ways to climb the Fragrant Hill. One is straight up and down, the other is to take a detour, and the other is to take a cable car. I was walking straight up and down, steepest and most interesting. I prefer to do something challenging.
I heard a speech in my sophomore year. The speaker was a graduate of North Airlines, and later went to MIT to do postdoctoral research. He said that a mans greatest achievement is not to become a billionaire, but to use only the brain and mathematical tools to deduce the laws of the universe, which is equivalent to half God. I was shocked after hearing it.
Some people can influence an era, and some can affect the entire human race. I sometimes fantasize about what I would do in the past, but I would never be a good student anyway.
If I go back to the past, I want to make myself strong. If I have the ability, I want more people to live better.
After coming home this time, I thought I would never say anything about my experience these years, no matter who asked me. Because these are scars, to show the scars to people who are weak. I dont want to do that.
There is only one life, and time is limited, so I want to try to eliminate the non-optimal possibilities. For example, enter the factory and do some repetitive work.
Children in the countryside have to help with farm work. In my memory, it takes almost half the time to peel the lotus seeds every summer vacation. At that time, lotus seeds had the greatest economic value and were affected by the weather. I sit there for three or four hours every day and peel the lotus seeds into the bowl. The ripening period of lotus seed is a succession of crops. I feel like I cant peel it off. Its very painful.
After graduation, the wealth problem really bothered me. I sometimes think that if I had been born into a very rich family, I would have become an outstanding physicist by now. I am very confident about this. But I now need to ensure survival, to meet their basic needs, ideals can only be temporarily put aside.
To tell you the truth, I sometimes regret it. Why didnt I go to a big company, a big state-owned enterprise, and stay in it for 10 years? Theres good welfare.
I worked in a hotel in Beijing. The colleagues do the wine every two weeks. Sometimes from 1 in the morning to 6. I like it very much, because the wine at dinner is more expensive than usual.
I have been to the shop for four or five times. I usually drink beer, and I like Corona and lemon. I am a very introverted and embarrassing person. I never follow the rhythm when I am awake. Sometimes parties dont want to talk, they just say nothing, no matter what they say. Its very capricious.
The small restaurant downstairs I go around two or three times a month, I dont want to eat, I only drink. It feels like an ancient poet. Everyone wakes up and I am drunk alone. The only thing I want to drink is the sense of relaxation.
I was very sad once. At that time, a girl who was very pleased with her had a very noble feeling when she was a model. It was she who pursued me, and then let it be. I didnt work formally for three months, and her parents did not agree. I also feel that I do not have the ability to give her a very good life. Why do I give up?
It was a painful day to break up. I found a place where no one was there and put four bottles of beer down. Later, my colleagues brought me home.
I feel that girls who have met have not gone beyond my imagination. Before I had a colleague, very beautiful, I like to talk about politics, military, she studied normal school, like talking about children. I cant talk together. She was a bit of a supercilious person. I belonged to a strong and sensitive person who broke up. Now think about it, I was just confused by appearances.
In 2017, I left Beijing, a little tired and I didnt like it. In the past few years in Beijing, nothing has been done and I feel like a duckweed. I always want to make achievements in a short time and want to take a shortcut, but reality often gives me a blow. At New Years, sometimes a person is drunk, sometimes go to a busy place like Sanlitun, where people feel less empty.
Man is an emotional animal after all. You feel that your heart is not like a rock. But sometimes I feel that if people want to accomplish one thing, they must abandon their feelings. I remember that there is something particularly interesting in trisomy: advancing, advancing, and advancing unscrupulously.
It is painful to admit that you are not a genius.
After coming home, I pulled all my colleagues black and vowed to return to the prodigal son. Before I worked in a hotel in Xian, I was responsible for contact with clients. My monthly salary was more than 7000 yuan. After seeing the news of my mothers illness, I suddenly felt that the things I had insisted on before were not important. On the same day, I told the leader that my mother was seriously ill and had to go. I dont have many clothes, and a computer is also thrown in the company.
My mother was in Shanghai at the time, and I used to get a new phone number, the original number on another phone, all day silent. At the beginning, some colleagues called to ask me about some customers situations, and I would answer them later. Later, he was too lazy to answer. He simply refused to answer. Sometimes I am really impulsive.
Back in the village, I found everyone knew me. When I walk with my mother in the street, they will ask my mother: is this your son? But I dont know any of them. I didnt speak. I stood listening to my mother being polite to them, just like when I was little. I dont care what they think.
But now I will care about my parents thoughts. When I got home, my dad thought everything was mine: my mom was sick, earned money, married and had children. On the first day of my family, my family was going to give me a matchmaker. But I dont want to look for it in my hometown. I think theres no way to communicate. Some of the village divorced, some children from small to large did not receive a phone call from their mother. Some couples fight all day. Im really a bit scared about that.
Sometimes when I talk to colleagues about this topic, I can only avoid it. Many people who are younger than me are married. They will feel that this is an advantage. Maybe in a few years, I will take it as a responsibility. I am not sure whether I will compromise or not. I am not a particularly persistent person myself.
After coming home, my mother took me to the physical examination, so that I could eat less beef and mutton and less alcohol. I have begun to keep fit now.
Ive been in good health, but in 2015 I had a sudden headache and couldnt sleep for more than three months. I can sleep for about an hour every night, and my life is irregular. Sometimes I call a takeaway at four or five in the morning. Its definitely not depression. Because I was too scared to die.
People who really have enthusiasm for life are afraid of death. Because life is so unique and so magical that it is an unimaginable collection. Any experience in life is worth missing, including sadness and pain.
I learned about flight design, but Ive never been on an airplane before I crash. Im also afraid of accidents, and trains and cars always have a sense of down-to-earth.
I would like to open a refrigeration company to provide frozen body service in the future. Because you cant imagine what the world will be like in 100 years time, there may be resurrection technology. Even if I didnt have time to do it, I would go to the Antarctic to find a place to hide when I was dying.
Now I need to earn money so that my parents can live the life they want. My cousin opened a sales company. Im going to try it first. He went out to work when he was 15 years old. He used to work in a shoe factory in Wenzhou and then went to Shenzhen to do sales. In recent years, we have made a lot of money by developing small programs for our customers, buying a house and BMW. Now do short video network red marketing plan.
In my impression, cousin has always been an honest child. I often take him to catch fish in the river. But when I came back, I found that he was already a smart businessman, and he had courage and execution. After spending a few days with him, I suddenly realized why I had never been able to succeed.
I am a little sophisticated now, not as good as I used to be. My latest book is The Seven Habits of a Highly Effective Person, which I once scorned as a fourth grade.
It is painful to admit that you are not a genius. In my senior year, when I taught myself quantum chromodynamics, I couldnt understand it. A very small problem would trap me. I knew then that I was not a genius. No matter how hard I try, I can only become a second-class physicist. At that time, I was disappointed and gave up my life.
Someday, I may become a very pure businessman. The environment shapes one person.
I dont think reading is useless. The whole society is propped up by scholars. There is no way for junior middle school students to build Baidu and Alibaba. My poor execution, I think too much, always consider risks. But now, I absolutely can not drag on. I think its okay to make tens of millions of dollars in 20 years. Im going to live my life after Ive achieved financial freedom.
I dont think Im a failure, but I havent succeeded yet. I now feel that everything must be focused, every day as the last day, society will give me a return. Reality does not destroy a person forever. As long as you are an upward person, it will always give you a chance.
After his son came home, Wu Xi began to actively treat the disease. She wanted to extend her life as much as possible and spend more time with her son, watching him marry and have children. Yang Renrong was once proud of her academic achievements, but now she feels that her son is reading too much, or she would have missed her grandson.
Yang Renrongs junior high school head teacher has been impressed by him, saying that he is a typical good student, calm, shy, rarely can not answer the question. He always sits in the middle of the 2~4 row, which is a good students treatment. Yang Renrongs parents often ask the head teacher about his sons study, about two or three times a week, sometimes bringing a little fresh chestnut as a gift.
Yang Chongsheng would not let his son go to the site where he was working, because he would be uncomfortable if he saw it. Sons sometimes cook meals at home and wait for their father to eat them after they finish their work, as many years ago.
The changes in his hometown made Yang Renrong feel strange. He often lost himself in a small village. Most of the buildings are newly built, with tiles on the outside. In his old home, he always looked like a guest, dressed neatly and restrained in manner. He went to the hot fields to pick hot peppers. He also wore leather shoes.
In mid October, Yang Renrong left home again and went to Chongqing. He said he couldnt stay at home. I still like to go outside. I wanted to go very early, but my mothers business was dragging on. My cousin, who runs a company in Chongqing, feels that society is the best university, more powerful than Tsinghua University of Peking. Yang Renrong is going to try it first.
Before he left, he took many photos of his hometown.
On the day of departure, he closed his door and looked at his house again. He said, come back and wait for the new year.
Jiangxi lost the 9 year champion to confide in his mind: he had been defeated and had no way to go home.
He admitted that he has been thinking about success in his career in two or three years after college. However, he had been defeated and felt ashamed to go home.
Science lost 9 years, the mother seriously ill father went to Beijing to find someone, police intervention
Yang Renrongs mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She refused treatment because she hadnt seen her son for many years. She said she wanted to see him again. If the son doesnt come back, she wont continue to treat him.