Its hard for people with this kind of thinking to establish a real intimate relationship.
Once upon a time, a girl from Beipiao, who had no registered permanent residence, told me that she had talked about a second generation object of Beijing household registration. In her words, she described it as a local tyrant boyfriend.
Not long after the formal contact, she felt very uncomfortable about their relationship.
To be exact, its uncomfortable with the many demands of this local tyrant boyfriend on her.
In terms of three aspects, she thinks that her boyfriend is not competent.
She also said a wonderful thing that happened to her --
One day, when she and his sister debated the problem of the boys request, because the girl insisted on her own opinion, the boys sister got angry and had a stomachache.
The local tyrants boyfriend got angry and asked the girl to send porridge to his sister the next day and apologize.
The girl said that on one occasion, she set her circle of friends as visible only for three days and forgot to tell her boyfriend about it.
After the boy knew it, he didnt listen to the explanation. He was angry and left the girl for a long time.
Finally, it is the difference between the two sides in the concept of sex. Girls insist on opposing premarital sex, but boys insist on having sex before marriage, and they also carry condoms in their bags.
When the girl broke up, the boy just let the girl calm down and blamed her for not knowing how to cherish.
The girl was puzzled by this. She asked me, is there something wrong with her values? Should it be changed??
Why should I give such an example?
Because from the description of the girl and the chat records she showed me, I found that her boyfriend and her whole family were in an extremely ignorant primitive state.
In their primitive state, there exists the materialized thinking I mentioned above.
Its just the boys and their family members, and more of them personify the girl.
In their relationship, in fact, there is no love relationship between them at all.
To put it bluntly, they just need a womb to carry on their lineage. They just need to submit to their applause.
From this case, I think it has already involved a human life problem
What is our life for?
Here, I must make clear my attitude
We should resist all actions that materialize ourselves or others.
Each of us should not regard ourselves and others as an object.
We are living people with our own independent thoughts.
To be a man, one should pursue love and happiness and a free and beautiful life.
Material is only the means to achieve the goal of life, not the ultimate goal.
In the process of establishing intimate relationship, in addition to avoiding the choice of life partner who materializes himself, the most important thing is to have a deep understanding and respect for self, not on the judgment of self value.
If you put yourself on the material level, there will be material thinking, but you should learn to put yourself in the soul level to know yourself.
Take virginity for example, many girls have their first sexual experience, and after breaking up with boys, they always have the idea of going to the hospital for hymen surgery.
In my opinion, the first question is common sense. Virginity doesnt determine what a persons life is like.
Second, out of the idea of escape, if not like this.
Its about worrying about the man in the next relationship, which is another typical materialized thinking.
Take your body and normal physical experience as objects to measure your value in future intimate relationships.
Lets think, years later, maybe every cell in our body has been renewed.
In fact, a person can become himself today because of the sum of all the past and life experiences, all the stories that happened to him, and all the relationships he is in now.
A persons self refers not only to his body itself, but also to his soul.
Of course, this body is an important part of our soul.
However, if we mistakenly regard the body as the whole, like this hymen, it will frame itself, and it is easy for a person to regard himself as an object.
Therefore, we must get rid of such material thinking and restore ourselves to the level of soul
Tell yourself that since such a story has happened, accept it.
At the same time, we should also tell ourselves that we can create a new story and new happiness.
If a person is more concerned about whether he is a virgin, the more he will encounter a man who cares whether he is a virgin or not.
And the more you dont care about this thing, the more you believe that good things will happen, the more you will meet those good people.
Of course, in addition to looking at the virgin thing, many people are prone to materialized thinking.
I also hope that fewer and fewer women will materialize themselves when it comes to why should we get married.
At this age, should we ask the other partys attitude towards marriage from the very beginning?
Talk about play?
Or are you planning to get married?
If you dont plan to get married, dont you need to waste time?
Can you ask your boyfriend these questions at the beginning of a relationship
The marriageable age defined by this woman gives me the feeling that she regards herself as a bunch of grapes.
After that, she has to sell it out of date.
In my opinion, this is a typical materialized thinking.
So how can we get rid of this kind of thinking?
In this way, there are many ways to cluster grapes
It can be made into raisins;
Can also be made into a glass of wine, lasting fragrance.
If a girls life is only adolescence, only the so-called marriageable age, this attraction, life will be so monotonous, life is only reproduction, survival.
The reason why people become human beings is not only to reproduce their children, but also to have the brilliance of human nature.
We cant go far left or far right.
Some people, floating in the sky, are not grounded.
We often say, such a person has to go down to the earth and walk around. In his eyes, he can not only see the starry sky, but also see the mud under his feet..
But if, on the contrary, some people are in the land every day and only care about the harvest at home, without ideal and beauty, they need to go out and see the world.
What we want is to grasp both hands and be hard on both sides. We should be able to work in the fields and sail on the sea. We should learn to embrace a diverse culture.
Every modern person should pursue more ways of living and learn more thinking modes to adapt to this changeable era.
Wine thinking is very important. From today on, we should establish wine thinking and look at our life in a variety of ways.
In fact, all girls who hate to marry should establish wine thinking, look at their life from multiple dimensions, and use a variety of changing thinking.
I hope you can get rid of the materialized thinking as soon as possible, and have the wine thinking and turn your future into wine. The longer you stay, the more delicious you will be.
Become an attractive person, attractive person, a person who is afraid to miss when the opposite sex sees it, and let the opposite sex follow forever and be willing to depend on each other.
Have you ever met people with materialized thinking in what way?
In other words, in the process of a relationship, have you materialized yourself unconsciously in some aspects? Share your experience with us.
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