Before a teacher called me to the office at night, I politely refused, after graduation found that my score is 60.
When writing the graduation thesis, teacher B was drunk and called in the middle of the night. I replied politely that teacher B usually did not act out of line, but would call from time to time to care about my life. The graduation thesis was green all the way.
So I want to ask questions. For the language without explicit, but I care about your superior, occasionally I will be drunk and call this person in the middle of the night, or directly harass the words, but the person who will hold your project will not tell the other party clearly. I am not very comfortable. Please do not do this.
In the face of these things, I usually refuse politely or dont reply, but I am really uncomfortable. My boyfriend said that it was because I didnt refuse clearly that I would be harassed by words. It was my own problem. What should I do with it?
Your question has two meanings: one is how to deal with inappropriate harassment, the other is how to communicate with your boyfriend.
As for the first question, I think your handling method is appropriate. In the face of verbal harassment, it is actually the safest way to refuse and not reply.
In particular, the other party has more authority than you and can affect your work and life. Who can guarantee that a clear refusal will stimulate him to become angry and even worse?
If you feel that such an approach is ineffective and it is difficult to say so in the face of such a superior subordinate relationship as leaders and teachers, you can reply in this way: thank you for your concern. My boyfriend said that you have always taken care of me, and would like to invite you to dinner and thank you..
So let the person who harasses you realize that you are protected,
He has no chance to bully you, so he probably wont harass you any more. At the same time, this sentence is ostensibly to thank him and respect him, but he cant find any fault and hurt his amity.
In addition, verbal harassment is a kind of temptation, so not responding is the best refusal.
But dont take it lightly. People who have harassed you by words should avoid contacting them alone. If you really encounter behavior harassment, you must avoid it. It doesnt matter if you refuse fiercely.
On the second question, I am very uncomfortable with your boyfriends opinions.
To say that you are cowardly, that you were harassed without a clear refusal, and to blame all the problems on you, this way of thinking is slut humiliation at large, and that he has attribution problems at a small scale.
If what happens between you in the future, will he think its all your fault and dont reflect on yourself?
Compared with verbal harassment, I think its more dangerous to get along with such a boyfriend. Its easier to hide the open gun than to defend the hidden weapon.
You are harassed, he is not angry, not distressed, but also accused that you did not explicitly refuse, you taste it.