Xiong Ling: who are you living for?

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 Xiong Ling: who are you living for?


Metaphor 1: people are selfish in nature, and they are the masters of their own behaviors. For whom do children play reflects the behavior of the elderly and children, driven by their own internal motivation.

Metaphor 2: if a person knows who he is living for, he will live soberly and freshly, and his behavior is driven by self-interest. For example, the old man lives in his own fresh and calm world, and will strive to defend his pure land; the children live in their own playful world, they live purely for their own happiness, and will pursue the unexpected benefits of their frolic.

Metaphor 3: to achieve ones own goals, one needs to pay or have conditions. When childrens frolicking unintentionally infringes on the old mans world, the old man knows the need to give up in order to defend his pure land; when the child finds that his behavior is valuable, although he mistakenly believes that his frolic is for the needs of the old man, he understands that the payment is conditional.

Metaphor 4, knowing who to live for is a state, and knowing why to live is a kind of wisdom. The old man symbolizes maturity and calmness, while the child symbolizes childishness and growth. The old people are wise in dealing with external pressure and inner distress. Because he knows that his own world is different from that of his children, and that childrens playfulness is unintentional harm to him, he can respond to external harm in a way that does not cause harm. To put it mildly, he refused the childrens giving in a tolerant way.

Referring to family education, if we can treat children with self and wisdom like the elderly, children will learn to grow up in play.

Who are you living for?

Through the metaphor of the story of for whom children play, it is proved that most of peoples pain comes from the fact that (you) dont know who you are living for and why you live. That is to say, those who lose the subject do not live on their own.

People often think and ask: whats driving me to do so many things? What on earth am I living for? For whom? Who am I? In fact, these questions are the eternal topic of human beings. The inherent vulnerability of human beings and the evolution of human beings are destined to explore and think about these problems. People try to feel that they are the masters of the world, and they can adjust their behavior to adapt to the changes of the environment. In this way, peoples heart will have the subjective feeling of everything is under control, so as to resist the sense of vulnerability, uncertainty and insecurity in their own heart.

Who are you living for? Actually in torture, do you live in your own direction of life?

There is a kind of people, has been very busy, and then very tired, very tangled. For example, someone complained: I have lived most of my life and never thought about myself. In the past, I worried about and suffered for all my family members (parents and sisters), and then I broke my heart and suffered all the hardships for my small family. But what is painful is that my husband and his older son do not accept my love at all. My husband does not love me. Instead, he blames me that I cant live. My son doesnt kiss me and says there is pressure in front of me. I cant think of it. I paid for them wholeheartedly, but in exchange for this treatment, why and why?

In fact, there is such a voice in my life: you are my life, my whole life is for you.

This kind of people who live very tired can be called the sacrifice type of love pain. In their consciousness, it is very clear who they are living for. But judging from the quality of their life, they do not live soberly and easily. What they feel deeply is the pain of imbalance, and there is anger hidden in this feeling that there is no return for giving.

From the perspective of relationship, they and the other are the pairing of the victim enjoyment relationship, because they are the giver by giving, and the other becomes the receiver. It can also be called controlled controlled controlled pairing. From the appearance of behavior, they are really paying for others, for the benefit of others, but in essence, they are for themselves - the inner uneasiness. If he doesnt, he is afraid that he is not good and that others will not like him. This is actually a kind of inferiority or lack of self psychology. Of course, this is the unconscious psychological world of sacrifice type people.

Because they lack autonomy and self-determination, they have to prove their existence by being good for others. At the same time, they are completely unconscious of their own needs and other people need boundary, their behavior (pay) completely ignore the feelings of others, also fully unaware, others unrequitable is to pay him to refuse.

It should be said that people of sacrifice type dont know who they are really living for. In other words, they are people who live in other peoples consciousness and live for their own worries subconsciously.

Another kind of person, has been very obedient, very smooth, and then very confused, very lost. For example, a girl named angel doesnt cry wrote: I feel that I am a very rational person, but I dont have my own opinions. I listen to my family for everything. I have graduated from University for two years, and my work has not been ideal. I feel that I cant do anything, but I often suggest that I should be confident. Whenever I have an idea and listen to others say a few words, I will feel that other peoples ideas are right, my own ideas are wrong, very painful. .

This kind of life is very boring people, can be called love pain confused type. What they deeply feel is loss, helplessness, emptiness and loneliness. The confused type of people are mostly those adolescent children, some people to middle-aged people, feel no self, meaningless, like walking dead, very boring and boring. The interpretation of this type of peoples behavior pattern is influenced by the will and requirements of others since childhood. Because there are too many seeds of other peoples hope buried in their young hearts, and too many other thoughts are internalized in their minds. They unconsciously achieve the role that others (especially their parents) expect him to become. When they wake up from their dreams, they feel that their actions are not motivated and their life is not interesting. Then they begin to ask themselves, who are you living for? When you do, you find that you dont know why you live. To put it simply, you dont know what you need and what your life goal is.

We can see that many childrens self ideal, self-worth, as well as their emotional and cognitive patterns are closely linked with their parents and family members.

This is a person who is repressed and passively lives for the expectation of others.

The type of psychosis is a typical kind of people who lost the subject and live in the chaos world of non self. Their inner reality is controlled by their own will, thinking and emotion. They often experience the feeling of conflict or division. That is to say, when they feel that they have strong situations that they dont want, they also feel that they are forced to submit to the unwanted situation by another irresistible force. In terms of psychoanalysis, it is a kind of subjective will being plundered, a kind of subject and objects control over the subject, so-called castration of human autonomy.

In the past, such people lived in a predatory relationship environment. They are the people who constantly seek themselves but never find themselves. They live a hard life.

Why do people dont know who they are living for and why do they lose themselves?

If we look at the root of the problem, the main reason is that the soil for educating people is wrong, and it is the result of Education (fool) of autocratic and compulsory society or family culture. In the stage of being nurtured, people are like young trees in the soil. If they are always subjected to severe treatment such as strong wind, drought, ice and snow, or they are protected (bound) in the greenhouse, then the saplings cannot thrive. Corresponding to the child, in his personality is inevitably missing - autonomy and self-sufficiency. Autonomy is a persons ability to choose behavior, and self-sufficiency is a persons inner sense of richness, which can be said to be the resource of humans internal motivation.

For all the nurturers, if you have the state that others only care about whether you fly high (regard you as the object), and only I care whether you fly tired (regard you as the subject), then the dependent will be the kind of self-sufficient person.

Understanding this, we can ask ourselves, can you live your own personality as the metaphor of for whom do children play??

The story for whom children play also reminds us of the difference between living for whom and not knowing why. Not knowing who to live for is a kind of loss of identity or anxiety of identity, while living without knowing why is a kind of loss of goal or the lack and anxiety of life meaning. And the last sentence of the psychological review of the story: if we are driven by external motives, we will be controlled by external factors and become its slaves is too absolute. Although the main driving force of human behavior is internal motivation, it can not be denied that many human behaviors are driven by external pressure or motivation, and can be the master of behavior. Whether people are influenced by external factors or become slaves depends on what you identify with.

An autonomous self can produce adult self-confidence, which requires two conditions: first, the identification of adults; second, with the emergence of more favorable experiences, gradually give up these identities, and then have their own identification objects, including things and thoughts. In the same context, a persons different identity determines his psychological status of who I am and what kind of person I am, that is, a persons self-identity. If you were young in the past, you couldnt help yourself, but now you are an adult, you can and must make your own decisions - choose what to reject and what to agree with. So you can be what you want to be.

Nietzsche said, people who know why to live can endure almost any way of living, which means that no matter what you want to get, you are bound to make your own decisions, and you will pay the effort and price for your choice. As long as we are sure of our purpose and cost, we can live like ourselves.