Peoples Daily: no matter how ill bred, too fond and unruly, excellent children cant do without six education rules

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 Peoples Daily: no matter how ill bred, too fond and unruly, excellent children cant do without six education rules


The mother rushed forward to dissuade her, saying that it was OK.

In fact, in the video, the mother not only carries a bag, but also holds two suitcases in her hand. Instead, her daughter is empty handed. Because she is in the wrong car, she releases all her bad attitudes towards her closest mother.

A lot of netizens said, what kind of cause, what result.

Too much doting on children, not only the parents suffer, but also the development of childrens personality is gradually distorted, becoming ill bred, no rules, not only do not know how to respect their parents, even the most basic politeness and etiquette are not in place.

However, if the discipline is too strict, it is easy for children to have rebellious heart and deepen psychological barriers.

It is difficult for many parents to decide whether and how to discipline.

The following are the six Golden Rules for childrens education put forward by peoples daily, which are worth thinking about and learning from.

1. Fish tank rule

In the fish tank, there are several small fish with big head and red back, which have been growing alive, but they have been so small for several years. Then one day, the fish tank broke, and someone put them in the fountain pool. Surprisingly, two months later, the fish grew from three inches to one foot!

In fact, children are like little fish. They need free space to grow up.

If parents indulge and protect them and help them make choices and decisions, children will not have the habit of independent thinking and innovation. Even if they have learned knowledge, they will not draw inferences from one instance, let alone use them flexibly.

When you grow up, you will be subconsciously afraid of making decisions and making mistakes.

Children need freedom, and parents need to resist all kinds of impulses to do things for their children. Be the leader of the child, not the helper of the hand and the compulsion to say one is one.

2. Law of reinforcement

Put a glass wall in the water. The whale and the food are placed on one side. At first, the whale pounded the glass violently, but it could not touch the food. After a period of time, the whale was tired and did not hit again. Even if the glass wall was removed later, the whale did not collide and only cared about its own activities.

Habit is a terrible thing, which affects almost every living creature. A good habit is a childs life-long wealth, but a bad habit is the main culprit hindering the childs life development.

If we want our children to develop good habits, parents should first cultivate themselves and discard bad habits. For example, dont look at the cell phone in front of children, dont cross your legs, smoke, dont swear when you are in a bad mood, and dont hit people when you lose your temper.

These behaviors, children are one by one to see in the eyes, and learn from.

3. Southerly effect

The north wind blows hard, but the pedestrians wrap their clothes more and more tightly. The south wind blows gently, but the pedestrians all take off their coats. In the end, there is no doubt that the south wind wins.

The same is true of children. Too much force of love, on the contrary, will let the child have rebellious psychology, blindly give and give, will also let the child enjoy naturally.

4. Rosenthal Effect

This is a kind of social psychological effect, which means that teachers have different expectations for children, which will affect childrens behavior results.

For everyone, family and friends are the core of support.

When encountering setbacks, parents attitude will directly affect their childrens reaction to setbacks.

If parents always take a negative attitude towards their children and often suppress their childrens self-confidence, they will gradually become self abased, timid and timid.

But if parents often encourage their children and believe in their childrens ability and conduct, their children will become more and more optimistic, optimistic, confident and generous, willing to try anything they have never tried.

5. Respect the law

In class, the teacher asks the children to tell a story and draw it. She will bind the childrens story into a book and tell them that this is the first book written by the children. In the future, they will become very powerful figures.

If teachers do, parents should respect their children more. Respect their immature expression, respect the dreams that seem unrealistic and far fetched in adults.

Treat children as an independent person, not just your own child or a piece of flesh cut off from your body.

Give children an independent space to think, respect their privacy, their choices, and their friends. Even if parents really think that their childrens choice is wrong, they should also use flexible expression to suggest, rather than interfere with themselves.

Try to communicate with your child instead of command and coercion, so that the child will be willing to listen to his parents.

The communication between parents and their children is mutual, and this kind of mutual communication should start with parents first.

6. Delayed gratification

There was a child who didnt like reading, so his father made an appointment with him: the hourglass ended in exactly three minutes, and we would read a three minute story book together. The child thought, anyway, its only three minutes. Just watch it.

Three minutes is over. The child has not finished watching it. He wants to extend the time, but Dad insists on only watching for 3 minutes.

After many times, the child learned to read actively.

In fact, many similar good habits, parents can use interactive guidance to cultivate children, as long as parents give more patience.

If you want your child to focus on one thing, try three minutes.. Try many times, the childs attention will be more and more concentrated, the resistance to external temptation will also increase, the child, will become more and more patient.

02

All of these can help to cultivate excellent children, but what if children grow up and become bear children?

The peoples daily also put forward seven solutions to discipline bear children without beating or scolding.

1. Distraction

Turn your childs attention from the problem to something interesting and useful. However, this kind of problem is only suitable for minor or accidental problems, and it is effective to divert attention.

2. Express strong disagreement clearly

For some problems that need to be corrected and clarified in time, it is necessary to convey the attitude of disagreement to the child in time, but it is necessary to understand the overall situation of the problem and not attack the childs personality.

For example, if a child pulls a girls hair at will, messes up the things that the staff have worked hard to sort out, and scribbles on other peoples books, parents should remind and correct them.

Convey a strong disagreement to the child, and the child will know that it is not right to do so.

3. Show your expectations

Dont over investigate the mistakes that have happened, and express trust in the child and expectation for the next behavior improvement.

For example, if a child accidentally loses your things, dont say it again, and gently express the hope that it wont happen again next time. Take good care of it.

4. Offer options

Provide children with reasonable choices that we can accept, and give them a sense of respect, not a sense of compulsion.

For example, he also has the right to decide and choose whether to help the child enroll in a cram school.

5. Tell your child how to make up for your mistakes

Children feel guilty when they make mistakes, but they dont know how to make up for them. They may even avoid mistakes because of fear. At this time, parents should guide their children.

For example, if a child breaks the soy sauce bottle and dyes the sofa, the parents should teach him to clean the family and be responsible for his own behavior.

6. Take action

For mistakes that have been repeatedly suggested but still not corrected, appropriate actions should be taken, but it should be noted that such actions should not go too far. For example, closing a dark room all night and beating a child with violence is a physical and mental blow to the child.

7. Let children experience the natural consequences of wrong behavior

If you make a mistake, you have to bear it. Children are no exception.

There is no excellent child who does not need the patient guidance and careful education of parents.

Like that rotten saying, the best family education is to teach by example.

Only by love and control, only bear children will be born, but love + Management + education together, the childs personality and potential will get the maximum development.

Every minute and every second of life is a great opportunity for education. On this seemingly heavy road, parents themselves will get the best growth.

If we set an example and raise our children by ourselves, there will be a lot less bear children in this world.