How to be an interesting soul? How do you really change yourself? Both are a grand proposition.
Whether the soul is interesting or not, the most intuitive performance should be the embodiment of personality.
Therefore, if you want to know how to make yourself an interesting soul, in fact, from a shallow level, it is how to change your boring personality.
Once a girl asked me, how can I completely change my boring character?
Because of the growing environment and the influence of her fathers reticence, the girl is introverted and has some inferiority complex.
When she grew up, she forced herself to communicate with others. Even in order to resist her inner character and inferiority complex, she challenged herself and chose a sales job.
Because of the requirements of the nature of sales work on performance, she has gradually changed her personality and other aspects. Not so inferiority complex, meet the scene of a lot of people also dont have stage fright.
The girl felt that she was a very boring person. She didnt know how to find a topic to chat with. There was no emotional expression in the process of chatting. All of them were stiff smiles.
As I said above, the essence of the girls so-called completely change the boring character is not a persons character, but her own soul.
In my opinion, a person can be a better self and have an interesting soul through hard work.
There is a saying like this: beautiful girls are rare, but there are fewer interesting girls.
Beauty is destined for three days, and seven depends on hard work;
Its all about fighting.
Everyone should continue to improve their comprehensive partner value, and it is the simplest first stage to make full use of their advantages in appearance to the upper limit of their comfortable and sustainable development.
Because the personal aesthetic, daily time and economic cost, sustainability, and the cost and degree of overall maintenance are also very important.
Everyone should find their own balance point, which is also a very difficult process.
For almost all men, the same beauty is enough;
And for the man of real high grade, beautiful is just the entry-level, beautiful beyond the basic line is enough.
And on this basis, no matter one hopes to live a happier life.
Or hope that they can have a better partner, become an interesting girl will become the focus of this stage, but also difficult.
In my personal experience, there are two things that may help a person to improve his boring situation:
One is reading, the other is traveling.
In fact, reading can be regarded as a spiritual journey, and travel as a reading in life.
In essence, they are the same thing and helpful to each other. They are all helping one to increase ones understanding of the world;
But at the same time, we should simultaneously carry out independent thinking, self reflection, and more exchanges with others and continuous practice, so as to gradually deepen and internalize all aspects of your feelings.
In the end, the transformation is completed from inside to outside
There is a saying that I like very much: map, not territory.
The part of the map we dont see doesnt mean it doesnt exist. Only a deeper and further exploration, can let oneself know more.
In the final analysis, to say that a person is boring means that TA has empty mind and heart, so there is nothing to say when communicating with others.
I suggest that if we do not have the financial conditions to travel for the time being, at least reading more good books is a good start;
We will find that reading is really interesting. There are endless topics in the world.
When it comes to this, some people will ask, in terms of specific operation, how to create a completely real and interesting soul?
In order to facilitate you to understand and use it more intuitively, I will give you a real example.
The girls husband thinks her soul is interesting and lively. Her husband tells the girl that she cant feel happy at home.
This sentence makes the girl deeply think that her soul is boring.
She said the current marriage interaction between the two of them is very bad. She said that because she cant speak, she is also a person who doesnt know how to make herself happy. She seldom feels happy in life.
So her husband and she get along day and night, just cant find happiness.
Although the story of this girl is very simple, there is no specific description of things in life.
But I can feel the emptiness of her spirit in her few words, and her eagerness to have an interesting soul to improve her marriage.
Take this girls story as an example, how can we create a persons interesting soul at the operational level?
First of all, we need to find a good example.
For example, Wang Xiaobo, who I like very much, is a very interesting person. We can buy his love letters.
He has written so many love letters to Li Yinhe. There are many interesting passages in them. There are too many things worth learning.
Their relationship is so good.
But back then, it was said that Li Yinhe wanted to break up with Wang Xiaobo because he was too ugly. Then Wang Xiaobo skinned her and said to her:
Im going to compete with reptiles. Who is uglier?.
This is an interesting soul, even if he looks ugly, his interesting can make up for his short board.
In a word, interesting is very complicated. Today I just give an example to illustrate briefly, hoping to give you a little inspiration.
A good relationship must be cooperative, not competitive.
Take this girl as an example. She said that the relationship interaction in the marriage was very bad. She also told me that the other party hated her.
I would like to say that disgust is not the key point. The key point is that in this relationship, girls should understand that their relationship with each other is competitive rather than cooperative.
Everyone should remember that the other party is their best example to learn from, is their most reliable partner, not their competitors to compete.
Many people said that after reading a lot of articles, maybe some people have made countless vows, but they still have no love and their life is still unchanged.
You didnt grow up is a big truth that many people dont like to hear. Id like to help such people analyze in detail and tell you why?
Even if you want to be a master, the core question facing TA is: what do we need to do to make real changes?
Real change requires us to pay attention to the following three points:
Whether it is to learn love or any other knowledge, we need to find a set of suitable methods for ourselves.
Here I will not expand one by one, just to say that the most important point we must pay attention to is: is the method we are going to learn repeatable and verifiable?
There are so many mysterious theories and methods in the world. Maybe some people can benefit from those things, but I prefer to think that it is luck or placebo effect.
The most reasonable method must be one that can be verified. Only the methods that can be tested can have the value of learning.
A method that cannot be validated is invalid because it cannot be evaluated for its actual value.
For example, a lot of on-line how to find a girlfriend, boyfriends and so on, as well as seeking good luck, changing life and so on.
Its basically ineffective because we cant test it in practice.
For example, some people have asked questions in Zhihu, how to say hello on wechat, and the success rate will be higher?
I give a method:
This is a very simple example.
We can try to say hello to 100 people with the same picture, signature and location;
Thats reasonable if it can be verified.
Find a suitable practice method, this is particularly important;
A good method can make you get twice the result with half the effort, and the bad method will even make you accomplish nothing.
Here, I provide the simplest way to identify: objective and fair records.
Prepare a book, list the methods you plan to learn, and then compare them before and after according to the progress of practice. We will naturally know whether this method is effective for us.
There are no plug-ins and martial arts secrets in the world. All the masters have grown up through a lot of repeated practice.
When we find a method that suits us, we must increase our intensity.
For example, even if we find a super powerful way to recite English words, after verification, it is also very suitable for us.
So a year later, will we still remember the word we recited today?
We must use a lot of repeated practice to constantly verify this method, constantly adjust their errors in learning, and finally form their own behavior patterns.
Its like playing basketball. We dont have any feeling at the beginning of shooting. When we play, one day we will find that we have acquired a kind of magic ability.
When we throw, we know were not hitting. This is the result of the intensity of practice.
If we want to be lazy, we will find that those parts that have been ignored will come up as new problems in the future.
Countless people make all kinds of vows and say, I want to change!
But how many have done it?
The answer is: need motivation!
In the process of my own core course students growth, I found that motivation comes from two aspects.
For example, if you do a good job, you are allowed to eat something delicious; if you dont, you will be fined.
By the way, the fine mechanism is particularly effective. I used the fine to get rid of the bad habit of smoking for ten years.
On the other hand, its internal motivation. A person needs more motivation from his heart.
No one can endow himself with the surging power that comes from his own heart and wants to change.
This kind of motivation can help us overcome many difficulties and still have the energy to persist when we are ridiculed, discriminated against and ignored by others.
To find this motivation, my suggestion is to understand the following issues:
For whom do we change? What do we want to change? Why on earth should we change? How long and at what cost do we want to change?
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