Although there are many reasons for the quarrel between husband and wife in marriage, most of them are due to improper emotional control. A small matter, but a big quarrel, the results of the husband and wife each other and children, and even the elders left a lot of pain. So, how to effectively control emotions in marriage?
First, believe that emotions can be controlled. Many people believe that emotions are uncontrollable, so they are reluctant to make subjective efforts. More than 10 years ago, my wife and I had a quarrel at home because of some contradictions. When the quarrel was very fierce, my neighbor came to knock on the door. I immediately shut my mouth, opened the door and calmly asked the neighbor what was the matter. After that, we reflect on the fact that emotions can be controlled. People are never slaves of emotions. Everything is just because they didnt realize it.
Second, you must understand what your emotions are and why they are. Make clear these, can think of a way to better express emotions, share needs, achieve the purpose of releasing emotions. For example, when the husband came home after a hard days work, the wife kept complaining that her husband did not know how to educate the children, and the husband would retort loudly. In fact, at this time, the husband should first know what is the emotion aroused by his wife. For example, angry, this is because in the husbands idea, even if he has some dereliction of duty, he should not be criticized immediately when he comes home, at least after dinner. A husband can say something like this: honey, I was just very angry, not because I felt that you were unreasonable, but because I was looking forward to getting greetings and care when I got home, but my wish failed. Its not easy for you to have a hard day, but I would appreciate it if you could complain after dinner
Third, we must know that emotions can not be suppressed all the time, but need to be expressed reasonably. The suppressed emotions will not disappear, but will be buried alive. These buried alive emotions will have the power of dynamite. There is a kind of person who is like a hedgehog. He is obviously hurt or angry, but he doesnt say it. He puts pain and hatred in his heart. This kind of repressive partner needs to directly express his feelings, rather than suppress them all the time. At least you need to let your partner know your position and opinions, so as to avoid accumulating too much emotion and causing a concentration explosion.
Fourth, we must understand the weakness of our body and mind. British Marriage experts Nicky and Sheila used a halt principle in their training, which I think also works in marriage. These four letters respectively represent hunger, anxiety, loneliness and fatigue. When a person is in the above four states, he is more likely to lose his temper. Therefore, he should first know how to take care of his physical and mental needs. For example, when you feel tired or hungry when you come home from work, you should eat something or have a rest, and then communicate with your partner, which is less likely to lose your temper.
Fifth, pay attention to sensitive time and sensitive topics. After 10 p.m., its better for couples not to exchange sensitive topics. Late at night, peoples physical and psychological are more tired, it is easy to overreact. In addition, I personally think that there are still some occasions when it is better not to talk about sensitive topics, such as when the other party is unemployed, has no hope of promotion, the stock market falls sharply, the investment fails or the other partys family member dies.
Sixth, constantly develop a sound self. The more sound a persons personality is, the less he will ask for his partner, and the higher his self-esteem will be, and the more selfless he will be to love. Therefore, everyone needs to work hard to learn and grow up, to be responsible for their emotions and their needs, instead of asking for love and stability from their partners all the time. If a person has great problems in emotional control, it is suggested to help themselves through psychological counseling, find out the key to the problem, and actively grow up.
Emotional control is a very big topic, and it also plays a very important role in marriage. I hope the above six knowledge points can help you to make your mood more peaceful and balanced, and your marriage more happy and happy.