Everyone likes to socialize and work with people who are measured.
People with sense of propriety always make people feel like spring breeze and have a happy mood.
Speak with propriety and dont expose others
The writer Liu Yong told the story of Huang Junbi, a master of Chinese painting.
Before looking at the paintings, Huang Junbi asked the woman, have you bought all these paintings?
The woman told him triumphantly that it took a lot of money to get back some national treasures from abroad.
In the middle of the first painting, Huang Junbi frowned.
In the third picture, Huang Junbi gazed for a long time and said meaningfully:
When the fourth one was only two-thirds displayed, master Huang clapped his hands and said, this one looks good and worth appreciating.
Liu Yong was puzzled: since they are all fake paintings, why didnt you just say so?
Huang Junbi said something that impressed Liu Yong deeply.
Money is a small thing to her, it hurts her face, but its a big deal.
She has already bought those paintings. Whether they are true or not, it is a foregone conclusion. If she breaks them in person, she will be ruined and hurt her feelings
Words are the voice of ones heart, and ones heart is always filled with others, which is not embarrassing. This is self-cultivation.
Seeing through without saying anything is not only respect for others, but also wisdom of dealing with others.
To say is a kind of ability; not to say it is a kind of wisdom.
It is the highest level of cultivation to be able to hold back ones tongue and not expose ones scars.
People who dont speak in a proper way and dont cover up will always live as an island in the end.
It is said in Zhu Zis family precepts:
We should leave room for everything, but we should not go back to our complacency; we should leave room for doing things, and we should be responsible for the good, and refrain from saying everything.
Words do not say full, things do not absolutely, in their own free, in people at ease.
Life is a kind of echo, what kind of cause is planted, what result will be obtained.
A dream of Red Mansions in many happy characters, but I prefer pinger the most.
Pinger is Wang Xifengs confidant servant girl. However, she is different from her master in temperament and handling affairs.
Wang Xifeng acts shrewdly, but Pinger is pure and good-natured.
Pinger never bullied others by bullying her. She was compassionate and sympathized with the servants whose status was similar to or lower than her.
In the event of Poria cocos cream and rose dew, she advised Sister Feng to let go when you have to let go, so that the Liu family mother and daughter were spared a disaster.
When you Erjie passed away, Wang Xifeng said that he had no money to do the funeral. Pinger stole two hundred taels of silver and handed it to Jia Lian, which managed the situation.
Pinger always leaves room for himself.
Neither Sister Feng as in the heart of only me, there is no one else vicious, not like Sister Feng do things absolutely.
After Feng Jies death, Daguanyuan is in a state of decline. However, pinger has been helped many times to tide over the difficulties and finally get paid back.
In the office of a rich man, there is a couplet:
Make the best wishes, tie the middle fate, and enjoy the lower blessings;
If you choose a high place to stand, you should sit flat and walk to a wide place.
The first couplet is to say that people should be broad-minded, only seek medium fate, and live the life of ordinary people.
The second couplet is to say that we should be far sighted when we look at problems, we should be low-key in life, and we should leave room for doing things.
This couplet was written by Zuo Zongtang. The rich man liked it very much, so he hung it in his office to keep an eye on himself.
Work to leave a space, their own road will be more and more wide, to go further.
Nietzsche once said, when you gaze at the abyss, the abyss is staring at you.
Leaving room for things is not only a matter of propriety, but also a kind of wisdom.
Communication does not exceed the rules, not beyond the bottom line
There is a question on the Internet: at what moment do you think you cant be friends with a friend any more?
A netizen told such a story.
During college, she and a roommate had a good relationship. On weekdays, they went shopping and chatted with each other.
Near graduation, the two were invited to a dinner party with a group of industry elders.
When chatting, the elder asked her about her plan for the future, because she paid great attention to the dinner party and thought about it again and again.
When she was just about to answer, her roommate said first:
She is not interested in her major at all. She just wants to be an Internet celebrity.
After listening, everyone looked up and laughed, but she turned red and couldnt laugh.
She wanted to perform well, maybe she could get a job, but her roommate said it as a joke.
I like this passage of Emerson
Its necessary to have a sense of propriety when joking with others. Proper humor and jokes are just like seasoning in the meal, which can make our life more relaxed and pleasant. However, excessive or inappropriate seasoning can ruin a good meal
Speak with measure, play with measure; grasp the measure, familiar with the moment.
No matter how good a relationship is, you cant try again and again at the bottom line.
When Sanmao moved to the Sahara desert, he had a good personal relationship with his neighbors. The best thing was that he lived next door to guka.
But guka always steals the things of Sanmaos family when they are not known.
Once, guka took Sanmaos high-heeled shoes to her sister without authorization. When she returned the next day, the shoes had become ragged.
Sanmao cant help but lose his temper to her, so they are very unhappy.
No matter how familiar you are with the people around you, you should master the sense of propriety and not easily overdraft each others relationship.
Theres a good saying: we need intimacy, but we dont need interference. We need warmth, but we dont need to roast.
It is the best way to maintain a relationship by keeping a sense of boundaries and not reaching out to other peoples lives.
It is the respect to others and the embodiment of ones self-cultivation that one should grasp proper measure and be familiar with ones manners.
Meng Fei once said: to be a host or a person, I am willing to deal with people who know how to behave.
Proper people are highly cultivated people, and its comfortable to associate with them.
They behave in a proper manner and speak in a proper way. They will keep their sense of propriety in a proper way and leave space for others.
Whether it is family, love or friendship in getting along, propriety is very important, not because the relationship is good, we should not give up the propriety.
Author profile: Muye, columnist of insight (dj00123987). Insight, different views, different stories, wechat big size subscribed by 15 million people. Uncle Bu Er is authorized to publish this article. Please contact the author for reprint.
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