Do not want to create a crisis of trust between husband and wife, in marriage to solve these two hidden dangers

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 Do not want to create a crisis of trust between husband and wife, in marriage to solve these two hidden dangers


The other side couldnt give her a home, so she chose a man, she said

When seeing this, I believe many people will feel that their feelings are over.

After marriage, because of what happened before marriage, men always cant trust women.

In addition, in the process of getting along with the opposite sex, women have been drinking wine with male friends on the wine table.

Although the explanation after the event was play on the spot, it still hurt the boys self-esteem.

Men choose domestic violence, and defame the image of women to solve the problem.

Eventually, the contradiction becomes more and more intense, so we need to go to the TV station to mediate.

The mediator is willing to believe that the woman is innocent, but when dealing with the opposite sex, she should have a sense of propriety.

And the husband beat his wife, and have no scruple to disclose each others privacy, has violated the law.

Finally, the man realized his mistake and swore that he would trust his wife, and that he would not commit any more domestic violence. His wife would manage the whole family economy.

Womens determination to divorce also wavered, and decided to give her husband one last chance to write down an agreement to bind him.

If the husband cant do it, he will divorce immediately. The man agrees with his wifes request and the mediation is successful.

You must think this is a very bloody story.

But when these stories really happen around us, behind these stories: actually, they are caused by each others psychological failure to take good care of each other.

01

How to resolve the trust crisis between husband and wife?

The relationship between husband and wife is our most trustworthy relationship.

But once there is a trust crisis between husband and wife, the relationship between husband and wife will be greatly affected.

As in this case, a woman made the boy feel that she had been cheating when she was in love.

Women clearly said: because the other side can not give themselves a home to choose a man.

This sentence is no doubt in the expression of men: I and you together is the inevitable choice.

Its no wonder that men are always suspicious in marriage, because men have planted distrust in this relationship.

In this relationship, the woman planted the seed of distrust in the man, and did not digest the seed in the later relationship.

Instead, it keeps rooting and sprouting, growing bigger and bigger.

Finally, the trust in the relationship between the two is completely broken, and even leads to the men to vent their dissatisfaction and control women in a violent way.

So we go back to their marriage, and it really happened. What should girls do?

First of all, in this relationship, we can clearly feel that it is a woman who chose to marry a man who does not meet the criteria for her spouse selection.

This is a bad way to do it.

If the relationship is not satisfying at the beginning, then separate and pursue your own happiness as soon as possible,

But when we decide to marry this man, we must consider it clearly: This is the person we choose to spend the rest of our lives with.

You must be responsible for the choice you make.

If there is a reluctance in this relationship, it must be resolved before marriage.

The first reason is that they have not been able to understand themselves correctly. Generally speaking, they dont know how much they weigh.

In intimate relationships, the eye is higher than the top, how can you correctly recognize yourself?

One of the easiest ways is to look at the people were dealing with.

For example, we have six people who have a good relationship. The average value of their social status is their own social status, and the average value of their quality can be used as their reference.

We know our own people in particular, he introduced us a boyfriend or girlfriend must be very similar to our type.

The second reason is that I have paid too much in unsuitable feelings.

The more you give, the more you want to be rewarded.

This kind of unwillingness even makes us assume that if we insist on it, we will get better returns.

Once both of these two unwillingness are solved, the last person we choose is the one we are destined to be.

No man is perfect without gold.

When we choose him, the next thing to do is to choose to grow up with him.

Let oneself become the better self, and at the same time, let him become the better one in our mind.

In our long and constant relationship, two people find each others growth.

Naturally, the mistrust generated during the first love will gradually fade away.

In the process of getting along with each other, we can express the language of love between us through some special elaborate moments.

02

In this mediation case, we found that in addition to the wifes improper behavior, the husband also did a lot of very excessive behavior.

For example, the use of domestic violence on the wife, the wifes personal information privacy to the public, the wifes social identity has a great impact.

You can see that the husband has a lot of resentment for his wifes inappropriate behavior, so his way to vent is very extreme.

How to solve our negative emotional problems?

Emotional processing is divided into two parts, the first thing is to deal with their own emotions, the specific method I believe you have learned a lot in the article.

Common emotion management methods include practicing emotional diary, recognizing emotion button and so on.

Today we are going to talk about how to deal with other peoples emotions. When we learn to deal with other peoples emotions, there are three ways to deal with them.

The first way is to deal with it through communication.

Here I would like to recommend a very good book, Professor Luxemburgs Nonviolent Communication.

In this book, a communication model is mentioned, observation, feeling, demand, request.

The book advocates: objectively describe the events we observe, and then express our emotional feelings.

And then well talk about our inner needs and our requests for similar events to happen later.

At the same time, it can also avoid the quarrel between two people because of the emotional consciousness.

The second way is to deal with it through emotional feedback.

Emotional feedback: it is to directly express our feelings of the other party and let them know what they want to express. We understand.

The common emotional feedback sentence patterns are: I see you do this, you must be very angry, this event is really unexpected, if I were you, I would be very angry...

By trying to transpose thinking, the other partys emotion feedback, reduce the emotional conflict between the other party and oneself.

The third way, through emotional agreement to deal with.

This method is very suitable for husband and wife, usually can be very normal communication, but occasionally because of some things and quarrel.

Lets make a quarrel agreement when we are calm.

For example, when your emotions start to have negative emotions, calm down for three seconds and then tell them your emotions.

If a husband and wife quarrel over one thing, the one who quarrels first will donate money to the two love mutual funds.

If you cant distinguish between priorities after the event, the person who doesnt express emotions will be punished.

Its very similar to the way you get along with Guan Gu in love apartment.

If you want to quarrel, you can file the quarrel, do other things temporarily, and then deal with the quarrel when each other is calm.

When both parties calm down, look back on the relationship. If the couple can eliminate the trust crisis before marriage, they can also solve the negative emotions after marriage.

Then I believe it will never be on TV to mediate.

For modern society, the pace of life is faster and faster, people become more and more impetuous.

For love and marriage, many people ignore the process and only care about the result.

What do you think a good marriage should be like?

Looking forward to your message

The author is Pu Fangyan, an emotional counselor and a third-class psychological consultant