A girl contributed that she had been in love with a boyfriend from other places for nearly four years. She found a time to tell her family that they did not approve of their being together.
Because they think that if a girl marries far away, they are afraid that she will be bullied.
Therefore, the parents of the girls said that it is not impossible to be together, provided that the man can buy a house in the province of the girls home within a few years, so that the girl can be closer to home.
Although the girl has been communicating with her boyfriend back and forth, she still feels entangled in the middle.
She felt that it meant making a choice between her parents and her partner, because on the one hand, she felt that her parents were unhappy and did not mean to compromise.
Her boyfriend is really with her and will encounter a lot of pressure in the future, so she wants to find a way that everyone can accept.
This story case, in the final analysis, is still a girl considering whether to marry for true love.
Why do I say, we should not marry for true love, but for true self?
The reason is simple: usually when a girl feels like she is paying for a man and chooses to run to a place.
For example, from a small city to a first tier city, or from the countryside to the city.
A girl will feel that she is making a decision for her future development, and usually she will not feel aggrieved.
Because this is a decision that a person makes for himself. Even if he suffers pain in the process, it is only a process that he will inevitably go through in order to be stronger in the future.
No matter what, I will continue to walk on and stick to it.
And the problem involved in the story of girls is actually the principle I mentioned above.
Obviously, the girls distant marriage is not for self-development, and her parents only put forward a protective measure in their eyes.
And her boyfriend obviously doesnt think so.
A partner who really supports her will not let her choose between her parents and her partner. She just needs to choose the life she wants to live.
Obviously, this girl and her boyfriend from other places are probably the same place.
This is obviously different from the two people who were born in rural areas to jointly decide to develop in first tier cities such as Beijing.
In such a case, this is no different from the wood to fish, girls are looking for a method that does not exist at all.
Because in this story, all the endings are doomed, all the scripts have been written, and the two people are just moving forward according to the content path of the script.
There is only one way to make a girl happy in the future, that is to see the truth of the present.
They are worried that girls will be bullied. The existence of such worries is actually the worry of girls themselves.
As for the girls boyfriend, his motivation is not so strong, or the girl is not symmetrical with the other party in the pattern, which may be the truth that girls need to see.
In fact, the so-called whether to marry far away is still in the final analysis.
What is the root of marriage?
What is the worrying source of distant marriage?
In my opinion, it can be understood as fear of unhappiness, fear of wrong people, fear of being bullied, helpless, and afraid of regret.
The question is clear. Therefore, whether a girl should marry far away, be lucky or not, and be bullied, what determines these?
Its not distance, its people that can decide.
What kind of person? A person who can make his own decisions and has the ability to make decisions.
There is a common problem in real life, that is, it is difficult for people to have the ability to make their own decisions.
The ability to make decisions on ones own refers to whether one has the ability to make decisions and whether he can make decisions on his own.
Whether they can make up their own minds means: no matter what, the girls will recognize each other and will marry each other. No matter how others say, they just like it.
Whether a girl has the ability to make decisions refers to whether a girl can deal with her parents worries about her own problems and whether she can bear the consequences.
What is your ability to bear the consequences?
If the relationship between the two sides is not good, how do the girls plan to deal with it? In case the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, how do girls plan to deal with it? In case of divorce, what are you going to do? How do girls plan to deal with economic problems? Are you willing to create a new circle of friends and social circles? The focus cant be all on the other side, can it be done?
If we can think about these problems clearly, it shows that a girl has the ability to bear the consequences.
Fundamentally speaking, whether a girl should marry away or not should not focus on the question of whether she should or should not, but return to whether she has the ability to deal with problems.
Of course, often many people in the distant marriage this issue, the first difficulty, of course, is the most common and the most difficult to properly handle is the opinion of a girls parents and family.
If the couple has reached an agreement on this issue.
Then, if the problem of family opposition stuck in the middle can be considered clearly, in fact, everything will be solved;
On the contrary, if it cant be solved, a relationship may be ruined.
Just as a girl told me before, she and her boyfriend are in love and are going to get married this year.
But when the girl told her family, she was strongly opposed. The girl is the youngest in the family. Her fathers attitude is that anyone can marry far away, but she cant;
Her mother was weeping when she heard of distant marriage;
The elder sister clearly gave the boys two ways: one is to let two people settle in Guangdong; the other is to give the boys 100000.
The girl said that her sister didnt really want money. She felt that her sister was worried about the change of her future relationship. The money was the protection of the girl, and she could understand it.
After her boyfriend knew the attitude of the girls family, he said that he could only sell his hometowns house or give up starting a business.
The girl told me that the familys pressure had affected their feelings.
She thinks that if it comes to asking boys to sell their houses to raise money, or to ask the other party to give up the opportunity to start a business, Im afraid this relationship will come to an end.
We can see that the girls mother is just crying, while the girls sister is directly giving her problems.
In my opinion, the girls sister is not really good for the girl, but really hope that the girl can be obedient. The so-called for her good is to let the girl listen to her.
If you have to ask a person who doesnt have that much money to give so much money, its a problem for girls.
So, I want to tell this girl, as well as her friends who are being opposed by her parents and family:
When you are really sure of the person in front of you, you should prove to your family that you have grown up and can make decisions for your life.
No matter who youre going to marry and who youre going to be with, you have the ability to protect your life.
Otherwise, in the hearts of your parents and family, you will always be a child in the family, not a person who can decide his own life.
It takes getting out of the role of a child and becoming an adult. Its also a lesson to be done no matter who you are with.
In short, if a person lives under the control of his family, it must not be the life he really wants, and he will regret missing it.
Of course, I understand that it can be very hard to marry far away, but whether a person wants to marry far is his own decision, not what to do because of his family.
Take the example of this girl. She and her boyfriend are in love and can be happy together. That is a good thing.
No matter how much parents oppose it, they are still their own parents.
Family pressure can easily affect the feelings of two people. As the girl said, ask the other party to sell the house to raise money or give up the opportunity to start a business..
Even if family pressure will not end this relationship at the moment, the future can not guarantee whether the boy will have a lot of complaints.
This is an overdraft for the relationship itself.
Therefore, I think where to live is negotiable, but one should not be afraid of wolves before and tigers after.
Everyone has the initiative in a relationship and should control his own life.
It is useless for two people to run only one person together, because if such another person is in place, he will never cherish it.
Whats the matter with those who marry far away? I hope the partners who have long-distance marriage experience can share your experience with us.
Of course, if you dont have a long marriage experience, you can also talk to us about your views on this.
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