But as soon as it is stained with money, it will change its flavor, and even be forced into a money transaction by some people.
The most important thing is that we are not afraid of talking about money will hurt our feelings, but we are afraid that talking about money will hurt our lives.
There is nothing wrong with betrothal gifts, but to ask for them by force is to seek wealth and murder!
Jiangxi, the legendary disaster area of sky high price betrothal gifts.
Just last year, Yingtan City had a blood case due to betrothal gifts.
Looking back at the whole tragedy, you can see that this young man and woman did not get to this point.
Ye ye, the victim, is an ordinary peasant girl.
Like her peers, she left school early and went out to work. In her early twenties, she was promoted to the stage of blind date by her parents.
Xu Jun, a 25-year-old from the same village, was also under pressure to urge her to marry.
In the eyes of big cities, people in their 20s are just the beginning of their life, but in the relatively traditional rural areas, this age is already the time to have to get married.
After 22 days, they went through blind date, seeing each other and getting engaged. They changed from strangers to nominal couples.
The local custom of sky high betrothal gifts buried the initial hidden danger for this tragedy.
Although the two have no feelings, Xu Jun spent more than 400000 to get engaged.
Among them, there are 228000 betrothal gifts, 40000 meeting gifts, 35000 jewelry playing money, door-to-door money, etc., which together have exceeded 300000 yuan.
This does not include Xu Juns expenses for renovating his old house, buying a car with a loan, and entertaining guests for the wedding.
Such skyrocketing expenditure is unimaginable for ordinary farming families like Xu Jun.
The supermarket opened by Xu family downstairs
But in order to let the 25-year-old older youth marry a daughter-in-law, the Xu Jun family still gnawed their teeth out.
The key problem is that in the matchmakers mouth, it is easy for Xu Juns family to take out the money, and even there are hundreds of thousands of savings in the family.
Therefore, when ye ye ye finds out the truth, the marriage, which has no emotional basis, is in imminent danger.
But ye ye quickly went back to her mothers home, repeatedly said that he was cheated and was ready to retire.
As for the betrothal money received before, ye ye also plans to refund 320000, which is also the cash received.
However, Xu Juns family did not agree. They thought that, including all the expenses of dining and buying a car, more than 400000 yuan was wasted.
On the one hand, the families of both sides also fantasized that the couple could get back together.
On the other hand, no one noticed that Xu Juns heart had moved to kill.
After the tragedy, it was recalled that Xu Jun had threatened before he started his work
Even if I pay off the betrothal, I will kill her too!
Unfortunately, time can not be reversed, at that time the Ye family did not find the idea of the son-in-law to be.
According to the description of forensic medicine, more than 70 knives have been cut, and the head and body are almost separated.
The murder occurred in YeYes room on the second floor
We have no way to know, what kind of deep hatred, will make such a cruel act.
But in the straw that crushed Xu Juns psychological defense line, there must be a high price betrothal gift.
Because of a betrothal gift far beyond the scope of tolerance, two families were destroyed and two young girls were destroyed.
A family destroyed by the price of betrothal gifts
In recent years, Xu Jun and ye ye are not the only ones who have been ruined by the price of betrothal gifts.
Before the national day, a video of a man beating his girlfriend on the street spread all over the network.
Just as all the people who saw the title were ready to scold the man, the content of the video was silent.
Of course, violence is not right, but the young mans behavior is madness with helplessness.
He and his girlfriend, have two years of good feelings, this came to the stage of marriage, but when the woman mentioned the betrothal gifts, everything suddenly stopped.
At first, the woman asked to buy a house of 1.5 million yuan. The young man bit his teeth, emptied his parents savings and bought it.
As a result, the woman went on to ask for 300000 betrothal gifts.
How can this be achieved? I cant get the betrothal, even the house is flying.
As a result, she did not want to break up, and did not want to lower the standard of betrothal gifts.
The young man didnt agree, so he was beaten up on the unit for three times and four times.
As a bystander, I just want to ask a question after sighing:
Why once deeply loved people, but finally to the eyes of only money?
If the young mans life and work have not been completely destroyed by betrothal gifts,
Another young mans life, however, fell into an endless abyss because of the word betrothal gift.
Because of the betrothal gifts, he lost his unborn child, his congenial girlfriend, and finally his own mother.
The man, surnamed Fu, was drunk and remembered that he had planned to marry his pregnant girlfriend, but his mother refused to accept the bride price.
As a result, the woman beat the child out.
The more he thought about it, the more angry he was. He chased his mother with the strength of wine and hit her in the back of the head.
Finally, his mother died, and he was caught on the way.
The amount of betrothal gifts is expanding in peoples abnormal desire for comparison and greed.
In the end, its only the newcomers themselves who suffer.
Why do I still advise you to accept betrothal gifts
Although the high price betrothal gifts have repeatedly become the driving force behind the tragedy,
However, you should be clear: the sky high betrothal gifts and betrothal gifts are absolutely not the same thing.
Betrothal, no mistake.
The writer Ye Qingcheng explained the existence of betrothal gifts in this way
When a woman does not have enough wealth, once she encounters a change in her marriage, it may be that she has no money and no money.
Imagine this scenario:
A pregnant woman who is about to give birth is betrayed by her husband.
He had no family support and no financial resources. When he got married, he didnt save a little betrothal money in his hand.
In this case, where should she go?
Many people who have not entered into marriage may fantasize that the one I love will not treat me like this.
But the reality is often unsatisfactory.
Theres a question: why do men always want to have children when they dont think of betrothal gifts?
The answer of the netizen @ Huangshan Village can be said to be extremely stinky.
In China, a mans lifetime appointment, employment of nannies, surrogacy, all womens service value added up to 4.64 million. In 40 years, it was only 9700 or so, less than 10000, including the cost of meals.
The implication is that it doesnt take so much money to ask for a gun, a housekeeper or a surrogate child. Why should a bride be given a betrothal gift? Men get married at a loss.
His every account, let people feel that women have been calculated, exploited clearly!
Before, the topic of what difficulties do grassroots women easily have in marriage has become a hot topic.
Blogger @ linglingdaren describes the situation of ordinary women vividly and cruelly in the video.
She said that marriage is like starting a company. Many men dont have the ability to start a company when they get married. They have no investment in the operation of the company in the early stage.
After marriage, they regard making money to support the family as a way to make contributions to the company. They think that they have fulfilled all their obligations. Naturally, they have become the representatives of hands off shopkeepers and widowed parenting.
Women, on the other hand, use their own childbirth, housework and child care to maintain the companys operation.
These invisible investments are not recognized by the husband or even the society.
For marriage, men take the risk of establishing a company, because after marriage, the company begins to operate steadily;
What women bear is the risk of canceling the company. Once the marriage is over, women will pay much more than men.
Therefore, as long as the whole society fails to recognize the family value of full-time mothers and form a perfect guarantee for single women one day,
Then the appropriate betrothal gift is the most practical guarantee and the greatest confidence of the majority of grassroots women in marriage.
What is betrothal?
None of them.
The real meaning of betrothal gifts is the blessing of two old families to the new family, and the expectation of the previous generation for the next generation.
There are two moments when human nature can be most exposed. One is the moment of deciding life and death, and the other is the moment of greedy money.
Betrothal gifts and betrothal gifts are exactly the greatest test of human nature.
The so-called betrothal gifts have nothing to do with numbers, but with affection.
Because we all know that a good marriage is about the future.
Zhang Ailing once said: spend his money, the heart is happy. Its not because of womens greed that he spends his money
I hope that every couple who are about to get married can break away from the strange circle of sky high betrothal gifts. They are not afraid to talk about money or talk about money,
With the sincerity, the true feeling and the true pay, walks the good long life road.
I also hope that parents with daughters in each family will learn to use the touchstone of betrothal gifts,
Appropriately strive for the protection and status of the daughter.