This post it girl is so heartbreaking! 2020-10-20 15:24:32 category:Lady I feel so humble.I was very puzzled and immediately asked what was wrong?She told a story that happened in the company.She was eating a few kilometers away from the company. After a few bites, I got a call from my colleague.Hello, where are you?Im eating.Im going to wait. Ive just started eating.Many people have the key to the office.But before l could answer, the other party hung up.Suddenly, a feeling of remorse and remorse welled up in my heart.She rushed to the office in a hurry. Only to find the door open.Colleagues saw her running in breathlessly, not even saying thank you or hard work.I felt like a clown at the time.However, in her reflection on this matter, her words were full of expressions such as my fault, I shouldnt give you any trouble and I should go back to the company sooner.The most fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the inner inferiority.Why does l feel inferior?Mother often stays in the room because of her physical discomfort, and does not step out of the house.This family has neither fathers nor mothers love. As cold as an ice cellar.From the beginning of her memory, her mother has not been involved in her growth.At the age of 10, he learned to cook from his father and served it to his mother after cooking.Mothers temper made her afraid to approach easily.She came to the door of her mothers room and mumbled, Mom, I seem to have come there...Her mother directly gave her 20 yuan, saying, go to the store to buy sanitary napkins.A 13-year-old girl went to the store like this, and almost dyed her trousers red after bleeding.Dad goes out early and comes back late. She could hardly be asked about her food and clothing.After high school, her father didnt let her go to college.The reason is, whats the use of reading so many books for a girl? Sooner or later she will get married.Mothers indifference, fathers pedantic, let her life full of dark moments.After entering the workplace, I was called around like a post it girl. No sense of value.As long as the other party presents not happy, dissatisfied.Because she put a label on herself - Im a nuisance.The disgust and contempt of others.I asked L, do you think you can get rid of this please personality?She said, no, I think Ill always be wrong.I gave her an example of the beautiful writer Jiang Fangzhou.The round table group once invited two guests, Jiang Fangzhou and Xu Jinglei.Besides Jiang and Xu, there are Dou Wentao and Liang Wendao.One is a celebrity in the host world;One is from the cultural community.In that program, Xu Jinglei, from the performing arts circle, is confident when discussing the topic.In expounding his own views, Jiang Fangzhou appeared weak.For example, she talks about a man writers wife who has lost her sexual appeal because of her aging.Jiang Fangzhou stopped talking for a moment.When talking about her blind date being selected, Xu Jinglei said, dont think so. How many people are worthy of you?Jiang Fangzhou weakly replied, I think its almost the same.The whole state of Jiang Fangzhou is like a mouse meeting a cat.In the face of other peoples questions or doubts, she dare not refute.The answer was not firm.Jiang Fangzhou also echoed most of the discussions that followed.Round table is originally a chat reality show, and should express their own opinions freely.However, Jiang Fangzhou was humble.Why?Its because of her ingratiating personality.Watch carefully and please them.Some people may ask, does Jiang Fangzhou need to please others?He became famous at the age of nine. Graduated from Tsinghua University.Source: NetworkIn terms of status, it is no worse than Xu Jinglei.But it is precisely because Jiang Fangzhous starting point is too high.When I was young and famous, I received flowers and applause from my childhood.The labels of gifted writer and beautiful girl writer are also firmly attached.So, she was afraid of failure. Fear that you are not perfect in the eyes of others.In the wonderful flower conference, Jiang Fangzhou admitted that he was a flattering personality.She didnt dare to clash with people.Even if the other side said what she thought was nonsense, she also said against her heart: its too right.Always pay attention to whether you meet the expectations of others.Ive been carrying this idea for a long time,Let Jiang Fangzhou overburdened.Later she chose to go to Japan alone. Cut off the Internet and read and write.I gradually found myself.1u3001 Whether its a girl in heaven or a slum girl, they may suffer from pleasing personality;I made the following suggestions to l:1u3001 Look for self-worth outside the relationship.In other words, the sense of value is based on things rather than people.All along, she has been a company - home, two first line.Life is monotonous and boring.So I suggested that she set goals for her career,It can also be learning a skill.For example, I got the certificate of junior accountant this year.Or take a yoga class or fitness class in your spare time.To achieve success in something will double our self-confidence and increase our own shining point.2u3001 Learn to say no.A B station up summed up 8 words gold sentence: its none of my business, none of your business.Source: bilibilibili Wu BuyiI also told l about this method.If colleague a says, L, please copy this document for me.Then answer: its none of my business.Colleague B said, L, you are not doing the right account. You should do this.Then she said, its none of your business.As a professional, you should have your own independent thinking.Be clear about the boundaries of work and dont be bad people at will.Everyones time is precious and should be spent on valuable points.3u3001 Build yourself.People who are habitually ingratiating have no ego.All his attention is focused on others, not on himself.Its like the bank executives in the Japanese drama pasted..He is a lonesome man by nature.Gradually, I was labeled negatively by my colleagues.He tried to tear it off, but the labels were just like in his flesh, and they couldnt be torn off.Buy breakfast;Coffee delivery;They even stray from work.He received more and more praise tags.He lost his job to his colleagues.The attitude of those colleagues who used to be close to him changed 360 degrees.The first praise, all turned into satire.He shed tears of regret, and the label on his body miraculously disappeared.He finally understood that peoples minds are changeable, and he still wants to live for himself.From a psychological point of view, it is to put your core attention on your feelings when you are communicating with others.For example, you eat with your friends.The brain circuit of the ingratiating personality is,Did I do something wrong?She has been playing with her mobile phone, doesnt she want to chat with me?u30fbu30fbu30fbu30fbu30fbu30fbAll in all, your attention is always worrying about how she is.The way to improve this habitual thinking is to pay attention to ones own feelings compulsively.Li Xue also called it creating a rich experience..For example, when we eat, we may be chewing and swallowing them directly. There is little to think about.Then you can try to ask yourself:Whats the taste of the dish?Would you like to change the restaurant next time?u30fbu30fbu30fbu30fbu30fbu30fbIt is said that Wu Zhihong has a habit of practicing meditation. The goal is to find yourself by focusing on the feelings of the moment.Of course, it is not recommended to meditate.Instead, if you want to improve your ingratiating habits, try this: focus on how you feel right now.Stay more.Think more.Be aware.It is not easy to get rid of the habit of flattery. But self building is the first and most critical step.People with low self-esteem and sensitivity should try this medicine.