In fact, most of us are not unable to accept harm, nor can we afford any harm. We are not so vulnerable and vulnerable. What really hurts us and makes us unable to heal is that those who once thought they were the closest and most trusted cheated themselves and betrayed themselves.
So, if you really meet such comrades in arms, if the war continues, do you still dare to fight with him, do you still dare to trust him? It is estimated that you have to spend a lot of energy to guard against each other - so, you understand why the betrayed party will live very tired after a betrayal marriage, because you should guard against the other partys betrayal and injury again Ability.
From this point of view, in fact, I particularly dislike the so-called counselors who are always persuading people to retrieve each other and repair their feelings. If they are faced with traitors who may kill their comrades in arms at any time, such persuasion is tantamount to killing people.
Because the most intimate people can betray themselves, it is difficult for those who have experienced betrayal to really believe anyone. This kind of distrust is not because they are not kind, suspicious and wary of others, but because their experience warns them that if they trust, they may suffer the same harm.
Secondly, I dont know how to deal with it.
Before going through betrayal, you ask everyone, if the other party betrayed, what would they choose to do?
Probably all peoples answers are the same, if betrayal, choose to break up, choose to end - whats the use of keeping such a person!
However, the reality is that almost 100% of people will not choose to divorce at the first time. Then, some people will choose to break up after thinking about it. Then, some people give each other a chance, but the other party doesnt cherish it. At this time, they choose to give up. After a long time of painful entanglement, some people finally make up their minds After many hardships, they choose to end. However, more people either accept it or comfort themselves and move on.
Its good to have a choice, but its painful to make a choice.
People who have no choice will feel at ease. Although they are not happy, they dont have to worry about it. When they have the right to choose and realize that they have to make their own choices, they become a kind of pain and suffering.
How to choose, how to judge the final outcome of your choice, whats more important is that there are other factors behind the choice, such as children, etc.; sometimes, even if you already know how to choose in your heart, the reality is not easy for you to cash in your choice. For example, if you want to divorce, the other party will show you, although you also know that the other party may be just bluffing You, but you dont dare to take the risk to try
Therefore, it becomes normal for a person to fall into repeated, indecisive and dilemma, and it becomes endless suffering.
The truth is, no matter how you choose, no matter what the final choice is, you have pain to bear, homework to finish, and imperfections. Its not up to you, but the sequela of betrayal itself.
In the end, you are lost in your future.
Marriage and family constitute an important part of life. When marriage and family are stable, we will not realize that this stability has such an important value and significance for our life.
Once betrayal happens, it is equivalent to your life falling into a precarious state. At this time, the biggest panic to your heart is that you are completely lost in the future. You dont know how your life will be for the rest of your life. You dont even know what will happen to your tomorrow.
We often say that there must be hope in the face of life - to some extent, this is absolute chicken soup. When a person encounters betrayal, its not that he doesnt want to be full of positive energy, not that he doesnt want to inspire his hope for life, but that he doesnt have any foundation to build his hopes for life. Because before betrayal, all peoples hopes for the future are basically closely related to marriage and family.
A person works hard every day and suffers from hardships. Maybe what he thinks in his mind is to earn more money, change a new car for the family, change a bigger room, save money for the child, and wait for the child to grow up, read and have a family Now, because of betrayal, all of this stops suddenly, you will suddenly find that you do not know the meaning of life, what is it.
When people who have experienced betrayal can finally break through the fog and finally come back to the right track, several years have passed in a flash, and this has been a very good result. Too many people may spend the rest of their lives in such an uneasy and lost direction.
Even if you are strong enough to make a wise choice; or, after betrayal, you can minimize the impact and harm of this incident on yourself. However, when you encounter a betrayal, it will be a waste of energy, happiness and even life It is also a kind of growth to experience the betrayal of emotion; however, as the saying goes, if possible, no one is willing to exchange the experience of betrayal for his own growth.
Betrayal is a kind of deep hurt. Therefore, betrayal is also a kind of evil. Those who are really kind-hearted never hurt others in such a way as betrayal, because they are in awe and believe in cause and effect.