Why are two people together longer, the more lonely?

 Why are two people together longer, the more lonely?


On the way home from work last week, I received a phone call from my friend. My voice was hoarse after crying for a long time.

I love him very much and want to live with him, she said. But why, the more I love him, the less I feel his love for me. He seldom takes the initiative to care about me. When he leaves me at home alone on weekends, he doesnt care if I have a good meal or come back from a business trip, and he wont ask me how Ive been recently.

My friend has been in love for nearly three years. Three years, enough to wear down the passion of love, the rest is just plain life.

She used to be a girl who liked to go out with her friends. She lived a colorful life. After falling in love, she put the focus of her life on the relationship with her boyfriend. In addition to work, most of the time is around the boyfriend, occasionally out of the party, but also three words do not leave the boyfriend.

There is a saying in the little prince: it is the time you spend on roses that makes your roses so precious. It is reasonable to say that the more time and energy a person spends on a business, the better it will be. However, emotional things are always full of uncertainty.

But the sense of security is still a subjective feeling. Instead of putting expectations on others and feeling disappointed because of other peoples behavior, it is better to take the initiative to change it and give yourself a sense of peace of mind.


We talked a lot that day. She finally began to realize that the negative emotions now are actually caused by herself in many cases.

Sometimes, think too much is not really a mans bullshit used to perfunctory you, but because you really love each other and fall too deep, there is no way to jump out of the strange circle of you think the other party doesnt love you, to carefully and rationally examine your own state.

Later, friends began to slowly try to put their time and energy on other things, arranged their own life to the full, so that there was no longer so much time to hurt the spring and autumn, worry about gains and losses.

But later I began to feel that sometimes I was very good when I was alone. It may be that distance produces beauty. Two people together for a long time, sometimes properly separated, but feel more comfortable. Every time we meet again after a little farewell, the atmosphere becomes better.

She said that although the two people do not stick together every day, they feel that their feelings are getting better and better. Sometimes when she is busy and cant take care of each other, the other will occasionally say that she has been neglected.

So, ah, love is to rely on attraction, rather than by clinging and hard to stay. The sense of security is created by ourselves, not waiting for others to give.

I heard a saying before: of course, what I want most is love. If there is no love, money is good. Everyone, especially women, needs a sense of security, whether it comes from inner security, from loved ones, or from money.

But sometimes, the more we grow up, the more afraid we are of relying on others, because we have experienced the pain of losing, because we are afraid of the uncertainty of placing all our hopes on others, we gradually understand that many things are not constant for many people. What is possible to lose, can always accompany their own only their own.

So gradually, we become more independent and mature, we become stronger, and we know how to manage a relationship properly. Our sense of happiness and security no longer comes from the care and care of the people we like, but from the strength of our hearts, from the confidence in life, or from the balance in our wallets.

When we have the ability to do what we like, we will feel happy. When we become better, we feel secure.

Love the people you want to love, do what you want to do, and live the life you want to live, but the premise is that you must love yourself well.