If the husband dies unfortunately, he may be embezzled by relatives and friends.
If our marriage is in jeopardy, it is better to look back at the story of thousands of years ago, how they skillfully used their heart to save their marriage.
Today, Id like to tell you a love story in Strange Tales from a lonely studio called Heng Niang.
The mans name is Hong Daye, and the womans name is Zhu. Zhu is very beautiful. They like each other and form a husband and wife.
However, Hong Daye married a concubine named Baodai. Although Baodais appearance was not as good as Zhus, Hong Daye doted on her.
Since Bao Dai entered the door, Zhus heart was full of fire, so he even resisted to approach Hong Daye, and the two became enemies.
This beginning is really interesting and worth our careful taste.
This man named Hong Daye is very similar to most cheating men. At first, he is very affectionate, but later he is not in love.
The setting of the story is also very interesting. The concubine is not as good as his wife, but Hong Daye still dotes on her.
This also breaks our conventional understanding that concubines must be foxes.
But many times in life, the opposite is true. Why do men abandon their families for the sake of women who are not as good-looking as their wives?
First of all, there must be something wrong with the relationship itself. The mans needs must not be met in his marriage.
Generally speaking, it is emotional needs, and this ordinary looking concubine, she may be an understanding woman.
The following description of his wifes reaction proves this.
In the face of the concubine, Zhus reaction is to lose his temper and refuse to communicate with Hong Daye. The relationship between the two has entered a worse stage.
The way she behaves shows that she may not be such a gentle wife.
How did such a woman succeed in driving away the junior?
Strangely enough, not only did their family not make any noise, but her husband especially doted on Heng Niang and did not pay attention to the concubine at all.
Curious, Zhu asked Heng Niang, how do you maintain your marriage?
Heng Niang said, its you who alienated your husband. Do you blame him for ignoring you? When you go back, you will indulge your husband and be good to the concubine. Let him stay with her. After a month, you will come back to me and I will teach you how to do it.
When two peoples conflicts accumulate to a certain extent, the best way is to do nothing.
This can not only cool down the contradiction between two people, but also gradually emerge in each others mind over a period of time.
This time, Heng Niang said, after you go home, you dont need to paint. You work with the people at home. Come back a month later, and Ill teach you how to do it.
When Zhu came home, he did so. Seeing that she was so pitiful, Hong Daye asked her concubine to help her, but Zhu drove her away.
When the story is advanced to this stage, we will find that in fact, every step of chess that hengniang teaches Zhu Shi to walk is very ingenious.
As for why, we will analyze it after the story is finished.
Another month later, Heng Niang asked Zhu to put on her best clothes, and then dressed her up in a splendid way. She told her to close her door early after seeing her husband when she came home.
Even if he knocks on the door, dont open it. If he comes again and again, he can be appropriately let for a while, but he should not take the initiative to cater.
Sure enough, Hong Daye seems to be possessed. He comes to find his wife again and again, just like treating a new wife. He is extremely happy.
Half a month later, Heng Niang asked Zhu Shi to learn the expression and expression, and secretly made eyes at her husband.
Zhu asked Heng Niang, why can we achieve such an effect?
Heng Niang said, dont you know? People are fond of the new and detest the old. They are hard and easy.
But if he can be satisfied all the time, even if the delicacies are delicious, there will be times when he is tired of eating, not to mention that she is only coarse grain!
Zhu asked: since he destroyed his image in front of him, why do we have to dress up again?
Heng Niang said, when he cant see you every day, you suddenly dress up and make him look beautiful. Its like meeting again after a long time.
For example, a poor man who eats coarse cereals every day suddenly gets a piece of delicious meat, and feels that nothing tastes good.
1. Break the connection and make room for him and the third party
There is a saying like this: wife is better than concubine, concubine is better than stealing, stealing is better than not stealing.
In fact, men cheat, many times is to pursue this kind of fresh and exciting feeling.
Once his wife acquiesced in the act of cheating and let him stay with each other every day, he would soon feel tired, and he would no longer enjoy the pleasure of being furtive.
2. Dress up untidy and concentrate on housework
Although cheating mens moral sense is generally low, but every man cant avoid the plot of a wife with chaff.
Two people have been together since they were young. After all, they have experienced a lot of things together.
Maybe he was penniless at that time, but we all accompany him with no regrets.
Sloppy dressing, on the one hand, highlights the chaff feeling.
That is to say, when the third party is squandering his money and living a life of intoxication, his original wife is still industrious and frugal, working hard for the family.
3. Look for the right opportunities and occasions, and shine brightly
The right time can be a festival or a memorial day. As long as it is a special day, it can be used as an opportunity for the two people to re appear.
At this time, he experienced a period of close contact with the third party, and the two people may have had further contact. In addition, with our backwardness and forbearance, it is difficult for the third party not to get carried away.
At this time, it is the most appropriate time to kill a return gun.
It was not much worse than others, and the little farewell was better than the newlyweds. It was hard for him to resist the temptation of not returning to the family.
The story does not explain how the wife should consolidate his feelings after the man returns to the family.
So, when we bring men back to our camp, how can we consolidate the fruits of victory and stop him from having sex with others?
Forgiveness is a lethal weapon
Sometimes the relationship between husband and wife seems to be intervened by a third party, but in fact, all the feelings begin to disintegrate from the inside.
If we continue to be together with their hatred, we should resolve hatred and move towards forgiveness and reconciliation. (here is the hypothetical option, which does not mean that it must be done, but also can be separated.).
If we need this relationship, losing it can be painful.
All forgiveness cant be short of lying on ones salary and tasting gall. Its easy for the other party to notice that he is just enduring humiliation and thinking that he can revenge him one day.
The affair of infidelity, put aside the cloak of lust, two people are painful.
It is painful for the woman to be betrayed, and for the man to be unable to find himself in the marriage.
If we can find each others motive while suffering, and sincerely willing to accept each other, two people will certainly find the initial love.
In love, hatred is easy, but forgiveness cannot be avoided.
2. An in-depth conversation and throwing back the olive branch for the other party
When the relationship comes to derailment, many emotional problems are terminally ill.
So whether we choose to forgive each other or release goodwill, he will probably not believe it.
Its better to see the above. After all, meeting each other is a matter of love, and many sentences on wechat are easy to be misunderstood,
Of course, if we feel that we cant control ourselves face to face, wechat is also a good choice.
Wechat gives us a buffer time. We dont have to respond immediately, but we think carefully and answer.
In this communication, we should not blame each other or blame each other.
This kind of conversation can only be done after we sincerely intend to forgive each other.
Otherwise, it will turn into a farce of quarrel again. If you are not sure whether you can communicate calmly, you can extend the disconnection period, which is better than quarrelling.
3. Three rules can protect marriage
When the other party believes that we are willing to let go of the past, we also feel that we will not attack him as before.
At this time, we should try to implement this commitment in writing and take as much property as possible into our hands.
On the one hand, it will give us a psychological compensation, on the other hand, it can increase the cost of each others mistakes.
Having said so much, many friends may not understand why they should forgive the naughty boy who has cheated?
We have to understand that the world is not black or white, there are many gray areas in the middle.
The reason why we choose to forgive is essentially to protect the interests of ourselves and future generations.
There is no right or wrong choice, natural and unrestrained turn can certainly get emotional cool.
The family breaks down, the child faces the psychological problem; after the divorce chooses a spouse again and so on the question.
Everyone can have their own choice, just hope for everyones each choice, design the best solution.
Ling Zhi, the author of the book, is keen on thinking about the relationship between evolutionary psychology and sexual emotions. She is on the way to finding true love. She believes that the best time to cultivate a relationship is always now.