When facing emotional problems, many people will use this method subconsciously, but it will only make the situation worse

category:Lady
 When facing emotional problems, many people will use this method subconsciously, but it will only make the situation worse


01

Love is a process of habit and participation.

If love at first sight or mutual affection is the beginning of a relationship, then each others experience and growth will make a relationship continue.

Because love itself is the interaction, dependence, mutual pleasure and mutual complement between two people.

If you cant even do the most basic mutual help, its better to forget each other in the lake.

Put aside the experience and common growth of love, like a mirror, and the illusory love can not withstand the years of weighing.

We always say that company is the longest confession, in addition to spiritual communication and understanding, in fact, it is more of a companion in life.

The reason why company can make love longer is that one partys life has the other partys participation in the whole process, and two people share the same memories with each other

A person can burp, fart, pick up ears and snivel in front of each other;

Can eat their own crayfish, each other eat their own ice cream, and so on, this kind of memory after the division, can also let two people take wine when they are old.

This is also the real reason why most long-distance relationships end up in vain.

There was a girl whose husband had been abroad for five years. Although she had not been divorced and was waiting for her old companion, who knew that each of them had her own lovers.

Even if its cooperation, it cant be better.

The so-called company is like the participation of pouring red wine and Sprite together. Indistinguishable is the strongest love.

The husband and wife who quarrel and quarrel all their lives are not necessarily separated; on the contrary, the husband and wife who treat each other like guests may have to die and break up once they have a serious word.

For love, moderate distance can produce beauty, beyond which there is no beauty at all.

If the distance is too large, it is inevitable to miss happiness, and it is inevitable to produce estrangement.

02

Many people will tell me that after entering into love, they seem to have changed themselves. They try their best to hide some of their own things in front of the opposite side, just to show the side that the other side likes.

Almost all people in front of the people they like, when chatting will encounter some big or small obstacles.

This is because when a person is chatting with someone he doesnt like, Ta doesnt have to worry about his performance.

Anyway, I dont like each other, so I dont care about each others opinions;

And when you meet the person you like, you are easy to worry about gains and losses, so you may not be as good at this time.

For example, a girl meets a boy he likes.

Because the other side likes football, girls feel that they should go to make up football knowledge. Once they have a chance to talk with each other, they can talk about football.

And I dont think its necessary. Because I think in front of the people I like, everyones most important thing is to show a sincere and true self.

Then express yourself sincerely. Try not to pander to each other in the beginning as much as possible.

Because everyone is in contact with others, in fact, they hope that what they like is real themselves.

If a person goes to play a role today, when the mask is taken off tomorrow, TA will not know what reaction the other side will make.

Therefore, in love, what we should learn is not to cater to each other, but to chat with the people you like like like to chat with others, and put down the heart of gain and loss as much as possible.

Many friends will certainly say, let go of the gains and losses. I know all these, but what should I do specifically?.

Or they would say, I understand the truth, I just dont know how to do it, or I cant do it, and so on.

Then there is only one answer, that is to talk to each other more often. Maybe in the process of interacting with each other, we can find that --

In fact, I dont like each other at all;

I think its much more reliable to chat than to think about things there.

Be brave enough to talk and communicate, instead of saying that you are alone and speculating.

03

Similarly, we often say that as long as we fall in love, most people will become particularly blind to the things in their feelings.

Therefore, not only will the right aspect before the performance of untrue, when encounter emotional problems, many people will become very irrational.

Lets talk about a girl. Before she got married, the girl knew that the boy liked playing games and had no ambition.

At that time, she thought that boys would change after they got married and had a family.

I didnt expect that after getting married, the boy became more addicted to games, and still did not make progress in his work, so they always had conflicts.

But every time there is a conflict, the boys do not communicate and will choose the cold war.

Boys not only play games and do not do housework, but also play everyday when the girl is pregnant and ready to give birth.

Economically, the wages of boys remain unchanged, and their mothers-in-law take charge of them.

After the child was born, because of the economic and child care pressure, two people quarrel more and more frequently.

The girl used divorce as a weapon, so that the boy could be restrained for a few days, but it didnt make a big difference. It didnt take long for the boy to recover.

The girl said that she felt that her original love had been exhausted in such a life.

The recent conflict is that girls tell boys that their mothers always play cards and dont look for a job to pay their debts.

The boy was not happy and asked for a divorce. The girl has been living in her mothers home for more than a month, and she has not called, nor has she thought of going to see her children or give her living expenses.

The girls thinking now is that, divorced and afraid of taking her children, the road ahead will be more difficult.

In the story of the girl, there is a point of view that I have repeatedly stressed in the past and must be changed

When a person encounters a problem in the emotional world, always do subtraction, not addition.

When were not sure if something should be done, ask ourselves, will doing something like this make your relationship more complicated? Is it adding?

The reason why we should establish this mentality from the beginning is that we can see from the story of the girl that the tragedy of the story is almost inevitable.

The girl told me that she thought that with a home, boys would mature.

But in fact, the girl is just too simple to think, not at all.

When some people encounter emotional problems, they will think that they have got the marriage certificate, and the problem will be solved naturally;

Some people will think that the relationship between husband and wife is not good. Maybe after having children, the relationship will become better. It is really too young, too simple, in fact, it does not!

If you encounter any emotional problems, if you dont do subtraction and addition, it will only make the problem bigger, more serious and more complex.

Everyone should learn from this story. If one is in love, he lacks the mentality of subtraction.

After further intimacy, problems will follow.

For example, if a girl thinks that marriage does not change the relationship, then pregnancy and childbirth may change the quality of the relationship. Does the result change?

id not.

Not only that, we can see that girls also narrow the range of choices for their subsequent life path because of their pregnancy and having children.

So there is a dilemma of dare not divorce now, because after divorce, there will be no money, afraid of wronging children, continue to drag on.

This living example tells us:

If you choose to add again and again in dealing with emotional problems, you will get into trouble again and again, and make yourself more and more passive.

This is essentially the girls mentality has not been reversed, all the decisions made later will make the way narrower and narrower.

In short, even in great love, dont expect the other person to change.

Dont expect yourself to bypass the essence of the problem, you can change your emotional world in the plight.

Love is a kind of seeing, love is mutual understanding, love is mutual acceptance.

Just like when we meet love, we can understand every second that you have gone a long way, you have a lot of ups and downs.

Today, in front of me, I understand and accept it. No matter how much right and wrong you have in the past, I accept it completely and accept it completely.

Any two individuals have their own different life paths. It is better to be tolerant and accept each others differences than to pursue the short-term convergence.

Enrich each others lives with these so-called differences and disagreements.

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