How much love used to be, how much breakdown now

 How much love used to be, how much breakdown now

Since I broke up with him, people around me have advised me so. I know that they are all for my good, and I know that what they said is right. But what can I do? I still feel terrible when I think of him. When I think of those little drops, my heart is like a knife, rubbing my heart a little bit, which makes me feel so bad that I cant breathe.

He and I were childhood sweethearts. When we were young, we had a good time because we were about the same age. Almost all the childhood things I remember were related to him. When I was very young, I didnt look like a girl. I preferred playing with careless boys, catching crabs in the river and kneading mud together. Children growing up in small places dont have many electronic toys, but they also have fun that many people dont feel.

He is also one of my friends who knead the mud. He is very good, especially when he kneads clay figurines. I love to pester him to teach me, but he always likes to wipe on my face. He always makes me go back to be scolded by my parents. At that time, although I hated him, I could only play with him, so I called him annoying secretly. Of course, I dare not let him know, for fear that he would not play with me.

We went through primary school, junior high school and high school together. We didnt really separate until we went to university because we went to university in different places. I had a vacation when I was a freshman. When I came back, he confessed to me. I was shocked and excited at the same time, because I also had a good feeling for him.

After we are together, we will face different places, but every time we meet, we will cherish it. He will come to my school to find me when he has time. When I have time, I will go to his school to find him. We are becoming better and better for each other, and we care more and more about each others actions. I used to think that he should be the one who can accompany me all my life, because when he is there, I think the moon is more dazzling than usual.

Later, after graduating from University, I wanted him to come back to his hometown, but he said that he would continue to roam. For the sake of mutual affection, I gave up a good job opportunity and went out to accompany him. However, life was not so easy. We slowly quarreled over some trivial matters of life, and also quarreled because of the pressure of money, and finally broke up in a bad mood.

After breaking up, I really dont adapt to it. I find that I really love him very much. He is like living in my blood, which reminds me all the time. Now I am confused every day, I know this is not good, but still can not change. It is true that how much love once had, how much breakdown now.