Every September, I think of Eileen Chang. In this life, she cooked calligraphy for a living. When she was young, she wrote all the routines of men in the book. However, she still gave in to love in her life and made herself very low and low to the dust. Eileen Chang once said that life is a beautiful robe full of fleas. Love is not. Today is the centenary birthday of Eileen Chang. I would like to share an article about her and review her youth, her love and hate.
Twenty five years ago in September, in a half used apartment in Westwood, California, Eileen Chang was found dead a week ago. He was 75 years old.
It happened to be the Mid Autumn Festival, the solar term White Dew. 22 days later, September 30 is her birthday, but she does not want to wait. On the bright moon night, she turns the White Dew into frost and condenses herself in the eternity of time and space.
When you are young, the world will be young with you. When you are old, you grow old alone.
The right person may not appear for a lifetime, but the body will wither away. But this does not prevent those who believe in love, fool like, one after another in the wrong person to die.
You said she couldnt see through Hu Lanchengs tricks? I dont believe it. Before meeting Hu, 23-year-old Zhang Ailing had already written Chen Xiang Xie, Qing Cheng Zhi Zhi and Jin Suo Ji. She understood that some men have no skills except playing, and she also understood that he is only happy for a moment when he pursues her. Maybe he is like this to any girl.
But she still gave up to love. Seeing through all the routines, I cant stand my willingly being cheated.
In 1944, Zhang Ailing was 24 years old. Fathers beating, stepmothers scolding, mothers affection, half a years terror of being confined, together with the decay and embarrassment of the declining aristocratic life, have all become the past.
She lived a free and self-sufficient life of writing for a living.
If you are in full bloom, it may be a butterfly or an attentive wasp.
When meeting such a man, Zhang Ailings emotional ending is almost fatalistic. And romantic goods are often the most dynamic.
With his appreciation of the novel blockade in Tiandi magazine, Hu Lancheng first asked for Zhang Ailings address from the editor in chief of the magazine, and soon came to Shanghai from Nanjing.
Literary and artistic young women always have a fascination with middle-aged men.
The sentence how can this is a disguised declaration that I have taken you as my woman.
After chatting for hours, he could see how Eileen Chang, who had almost no paternal love in her childhood, was eager to rely on a mature man under her indifferent appearance.
Feeling her weakness, he began to work day-to-day card type visits.
I cant promise you marriage, I cant promise you love, I can only promise you to be happy! Chenxiangxie in this line like a mangy dog confession, actually in Zhang ailing body a prophecy.
Hu Lancheng was a politician of the Wang puppet regime. She had two wives and was almost a father in that era. She could not have further relationship with Zhang Ailing.
But Eileen Chang, bewildered, gave him a picture of herself in her boudoir, and left a message on the back: she became very low and low in the dust after seeing him. But her heart is joyful, and flowers come out of the dust.
As low as dust. Once envious of the life and death and the son of the said she even gave up the long-term expectations, and even said to Hu Lancheng in a letter: I thought that you can come and go here in the future.
This painting style has nothing to do with Zhang Ailing, who was aloof and aloof in her old age.
In August 1944, after knowing each other for six months, Hu Lancheng formally proposed to Zhang Ailing on the occasion of his second wifes divorce. Bearing almost everyones opposition, Zhang Ailing married. There is no wedding or wedding banquet on paper.
If you ask me if I love you, you should know that love is not worth it.
The later story is called the cultivation of a slag man. After less than half a year of marriage, Hu Lancheng and Zhou Xunde, a 17-year-old nurse, were on the way to refuge. The wedding ceremony was held with great fanfare, and Zhang Ailings existence was completely forgotten.
Later, the Japanese army was defeated, Wang puppet collapsed, Hu Lancheng fled to Zhejiang, and then married his widow fan Xiumei.
I dont want to evaluate Hu Lancheng. Have face, talent, will tease, rascal can martial arts, no one can stop. This kind of man is not rare in any dynasty or generation.
She could endure his talking about himself and Xiao Zhou on his pillow, and asked her to comment on his Wuhan story;
When she found his and fan Xiumeis residence, she was willing to put herself in an embarrassing situation where they shared the same room, watched the two show their love in the hotel, and offered to make a portrait of fan Xiumei.
As a result, she couldnt draw any more: Lan Cheng, I just think her eyebrows, her eyes and her mouth are more and more like you. I cant draw any more when I feel a pain in my heart...
After a man knows a woman thoroughly, he will not love her.
The softer she is, the more unscrupulous he is. She sighed, are you not willing. I have thought that if I have to leave you, I will not be short-sighted and love others any more, I will just wither.
Withered, withered, but also sent his own contribution for a year to help him and another womans life.
In June 1947, when Hu Lancheng was in a stable state, Eileen Changs farewell letter came: I dont like you any more. You dont like me any more. This time, I have been thinking about it for a year and a half. Dont look for me. Even if you write to me, I wont read it.
With the letter, I also attached a contribution of 300000 yuan.
Eileen Chang once said that life is a beautiful robe full of fleas. Love is not. In her twenties, she was unreasonably willing to believe in the beauty of love. Then she covered her eyes and refused to see the fleas sucking their own blood.
People are always like this, knowing that they cant do it, knowing that they are not lovely and loving them.
Who has never had youth like a dream, passion like fire? When I was in my twenties, I walked on the road with a smile and a smile. I was looking forward to meeting you among thousands of people and marrying a love without hesitation.
No one is used to loneliness from the beginning.
Xiao Hong, a 22-year-old girl, met Xiao Jun and had a heart to heart talk the first day and had a relationship the next day;
Duras is even more exaggerating. She met Hu Taole, a Chinese man 12 years older than her, at the ferry. From then on, she could not let go of the morbid love she had for 50 years. Her love for him was unreasonable. I didnt know why I loved him so much that I was willing to die for him.
Childish, idiotic and unreasonable people in their twenties are common. At this age, who has not fantasized to marry a love without hesitation?
The reality is that most of us will be dust laden in the years after we are 30 years old. We will get married in forced marriage and give up in trivial matters. Only a few of us will live the illusion of three or five years when we were young for a lifetime.
This is why we have only one Sanmao and Zhang Ailing - Xiao Hong may not be able to write the field of life and death without Xiao Jun, Hu Taole, Duras may not be able to write lover - but without Hexi, Sanmao or Sanmao, without Hu Lancheng, Zhang Ailing is still Zhang Ailing.
The unshakable hope for pure love is no less than the unshakable hope for ideal.
The person who harbors them looks so strange in reality that no matter who meets a or B, he will be dead or injured in the end.
This kind of person, especially woman, pursues a pure love which is divorced from reality like a dream all his life. He doesnt ask about his age, his experience, his family background. He only asks whether he understands or not and whether he is willing or not.
At the age of 30, 40 and 60, they are always as young as they were when they were 20 years old: their hearts were like ice, or moths were flying to the fire, they were always waiting, they were never willing to make do with it, and they forced themselves into an island.
There are two kinds of women in every mans life, white rose and red rose: one is a holy wife, the other is a passionate mistress. The problem is, Eileen Chang will never be whose white rose or red rose, even in her most unreasonable 25-year-old.