I dont want to describe the specific process, because I dont think its proper to exaggerate the event in detail, so that other children will follow suit.
In this article, we will not talk about corporal punishment of children for any party involved.
It is not that children cannot be physically punished, but that their posture must be correct
In modern society, it is generally believed that education should emphasize methods and avoid the use of primitive violence.
However, everything can not be generalized.
First of all, formal corporal punishment is not insulting, abusing or venting, but is aimed at education.
1: Children who are subjected to corporal punishment need to be between 2 and 12 years old.
3: The force to be applied must be reasonable, brief and slight.
4: Dont use belt, ruler and other tools to hit children, cant head and neck.
6: Children must benefit from correction.
Every word is precious and every word is a proverb.
Yuyan sister added: dont beat children in public places.
Please read the above 7 items three times.
Why should the age of corporal punishment be set at 2-12 years old?
Because, too young children do not understand the meaning of corporal punishment, and the adolescent children rebellious, corporal punishment not only does not work, but also destroys the parent-child relationship, with more harm than good.
Dont mention the mother in the news, just talk about sister Yuyan. I think the most difficult thing to control when corporal punishment is a childu2014u2014
Dont vent because you are angry and make sure your child benefits from corporal punishment.
I also once because sweet bean is always writing wrong new words, angry with the textbook to throw her, the childs face shot red.
Afterwards, he apologized to the child.
When it comes to the United States, everyones impression is that child protection is comprehensive. When adults hit children, police cars will come.
Is that really the case?
The laws of different states in the United States are different. 19 states in the conservative areas in the South and central part of the country even allow schools to hit illegal students with boards.
Yu Yan said that it has long been forbidden for teachers to smoke students with wooden boards in China, but this ancient tradition is still maintained in the south of the United States, because school authorities believe that corporal punishment is more deterrent than staying or suspending classes.
Of course, the reason why the United States can retain the system of beating the board is that other peoples child protection has been put in place to ensure that corporal punishment will not be abused.
Sister Yuyan asked her friends who had been studying in a private Catholic school in Dezhou since childhood. It is said that the board is very happy.
He who cant bear to beat his son with a staff hates him; he who loves his son is always disciplined. (Proverbs 13:24)
Before the students are punished, the school will inform their parents in writing whether to suspend classes or to punish them physically.
Students who accept corporal punishment follow the headmaster to the small room to execute. They usually pump 3-5 times on their buttocks, and sometimes use a wooden ruler or belt to draw the palms of their hands.
In addition, the school will also take into account the shame of students, female students by female teachers, male students by male teachers.
After the corporal punishment, the schools education consultant came on the stage to give psychological guidance to the children.
Yu Yan said that, of course, this is not to support the resumption of corporal punishment in schools in China, but to tell parents under what circumstances corporal punishment can be carried out, and how to carry out corporal punishment can have a positive effect, and it will not hurt the childrens mind.
It is forbidden to play on the basis of the facts, let alone venting.
It is not that the child can not be physically punished, but the posture must be correct, so that the child is convinced and does not accumulate bad emotions.
The boundary of rewards and punishments in education must be clear and quantitative
A Canadian education consultant once told Yuyanu2014u2014
The first principle of punishing children is to let them know that they are responsible for the result, rather than resenting the adult who carries out the punishment.
The punishment of students is well founded. They can only blame themselves for knowingly committing crimes, and can not grasp an excuse to resent others.
Ive never heard of a child getting revenge on his teacher when he grows up.
The punishment of childrens behavior deviation is very severe in western society. Although they will not beat children in public places, they will take the humiliating punishment of letting them hold the guilty card in full view of the public
Back to the tragedy of the 14-year-old boy, many netizens are confused about calling their parents playing cards.
This is because of the lack of uniform standards in our education for a long time.
Yu Yan said that if the school rules do not stipulate that these behaviors are not allowed, then teachers and parents should not adjust the standard of punishing children at will.
Even if it is the third day of junior high school entrance examination, study nervous this kind of I for you reason also cant.
Take Canada, where sister Yuyan lived.
Every ban in schools is well-known, and there is a quantifiable punishment.
Verbal bullying students, warning + suspension for 1 day;
Insulting and discriminating against students, suspension of classes + credit to students status;
In case of physical conflict, both parties will be suspended from school for 3 days, and those who cause it will be registered as students;
The first time they cheat, they stay in school for inspection, and the second time they cheat, they are expelled from school;
Due to the schools brainwashing over and over again, the children are clear about the forbidden areas and consequences of these zero tolerance. If any of them are violated, they will be punished and confiscated.
If children are in an educational environment with clear rewards and punishments, TAs judgment of right and wrong is clear, and the consequences of behavior deviation are known.
Such children, even if they are severely punished, are less likely to make extreme events.
However, in our education, schools and families lack consistent, logical and reliable behavior standards that can be recognized by children.
Seriously, in Canadian schools, teasing people is more severe than playing cards after class.
The former is behavioral deviation, and the latter is at most a violation of discipline.
In fact, playing cards in school is not a violation of discipline as long as it is not gambling
But in our study as the first consideration here, it is the reverse.
This leads to the confusion of the Three Outlooks of children, unable to have a sense of awe and conviction for the rules, and the resistance after being punished is more than the consciousness of reflection.
In addition, parents who cant control their temper and lack of rules and techniques of discipline.
In the long run, childrens emotional accumulation, I do not know at which point will break out.
Sweet beans in Canada swimming coach, is a special understanding of education of the old aunt.
The coachs old aunt said that she beat her son twice because of misbehavior.
Once, when the child was 8 years old, he stole 40 yuan from his neighbors mailbox and paid him to mow the grass.
One was because the child bullied a Mexican classmate with several boys when he was 15 years old (yes, this time the child was beaten in violation of the law, and the old aunt said that she knew it in her mind).
Especially bullying students that time, the old aunt slapped her son two times, and let out a wordu2014u2014
If you dont like it, call 911 and call the police to arrest me.
The son of a tall horse knows his own fault and has no resistance and is beaten to the right.
Until the child adult, a recollection of the past, a bit glumu2014u2014
Now if you want to hit me, I cant.
The old aunt rose in a secondu2014u2014
If you cant, Ill fight. If you do it again, Ill see how you can educate your children in the future.
The son said nothing at once.
The feeling of this incident to sister Yuyan isu2014u2014
When you beat a child, think about whether you can still say yes, you should fight after several years
If the answer is yes, then corporal punishment can be a means.
As well as, its easy not to do it, only to hit the key points.
In addition to reasonable beating, but also pay attention to leave a hole, do not put the childrens emotional vent way completely blocked.
Many people blame the tiger mother, Cai Meier, for her iron handed parenting.
She once denounced her daughter as garbage at a dinner party and asked her children not to drink water or go to the toilet while practicing the piano, and shut her little daughter who did not want to play the piano on the balcony.
This is supposed to have reached the critical point of abuse.
However, sister Yuyan noticed that the tiger mother allowed her daughter to pinch her mothers face for five minutes after forcing her child through a high-intensity day.
The children are very sensitive. Whether the parents punishment is to help themselves or to vent their anger out of awe, the children are clear about it.
If the parents and children are close, you have to teach hard, and they will not hate;
If we do not have the premise of intimacy and trust, and blindly copy other peoples harshness, it will only bring contradictions and confrontation, as well as other psychological problems of endless trouble.
Finally, what you want to say isu2014u2014
There are no perfect children, no perfect parents.
But after all, adults are dominant and should have greater responsibility.
In the social environment is difficult to change for a while, only parents do more homework, deal with education problems, and maintain good parent-child relationship.
After all, children are their own.
I hope similar tragedies will happen less.
The pictures in this article are all from the Internet