If you regard the other party as your only one, then once you encounter the betrayal of your feelings, you will lose everything, and you will lose the world.
Yes, if you dont recognize this and make timely adjustments, betrayal will hurt you most thoroughly.
Reverse thinking: if you dont treat the other person as your only and all, it will help you heal and relieve pain, and help you get out of the shadow.
First of all, dont regard yourself as your own.
In fact, marriage is also very realistic, both sides need to provide certain value, this relationship can be stable, such values are mainly emotional value and life value.
Marriage is not charity, charity is just giving without return; marriage is not parent-child blood relationship, and parent-child blood relationship also does not ask for return - marriage relationship, to some extent, is to stress equality, I am good to you, I hope you are good to me; I give to you, I hope that my pay can get your return.
One way to pay and one-sided demand, such a marriage will sooner or later have problems.
Why do people who encounter betrayal fall into such great pain? After all, in terms of emotions and life, they lose a kind of dependence and dependence - the feeling that a person will suddenly put you aside in an instant, which will certainly make you fall into uneasiness and panic.
The fundamental solution to this problem is not to let the other party take responsibility for themselves again and become their own dependence again, but at this time, they should try their best to adjust and change themselves. Through their own efforts, they can complete the lessons that depend on themselves. This is the fundamental cure. Otherwise, your uneasiness will exist forever.
It is a big topic to rely on oneself, which can be simplified to the end. First, learn to rely on yourself and not ask for each other emotionally and emotionally; second, learn to rely on yourself and not expect each other in life and matter.
Dont regard the other party as your only one, that is to learn not to care about each other, dont let yourself live as the vassal of the other party.
Please remember, in any relationship, when the other party does not care, do not care about themselves, if you continue to care about the other party, then suffer losses and hard thinking, must be yourself. Therefore, you must also slowly put down the care for each other.
This is the problem of evaluation. If you care about the other partys evaluation of you, if the other party says hello, you will feel good; if the other party says you are not good, you will feel that you are not good. You build the evaluation system on the other party, and adjust and shape yourself by the other partys evaluation. In the emotional relationship, this is actually very dangerous, because once betrayed, it will fall into extreme self denial, and when the follow-up response, it is easy to lose the principle of bottom line to please and recover.
If you cant understand the above, give a simple example:
Therefore, after being betrayed, it is very important to reconstruct ones own evaluation system. No matter where the system is established, whether it is based on oneself or on friends and colleagues, in short, it must not be established on the other side.
A person who betrays you cant give you positive evaluation. This is the truth you must understand.