A love without a sense of belonging, how to go on?

category:Lady
 A love without a sense of belonging, how to go on?


Thank you for writing down your valuable suggestions on todays emotional problems.

Beauty for help:

How to do without sense of belonging in affection?

My boyfriend and I got to know each other in University, so we had more contact with each other.

As a freshman, he helped each other and had feelings. He decided to fall in love in two months, which was his first love.

We will be together for the fourth anniversary in two and a half months, but his parents still dont know my existence.

Freshmen say sophomores tell their parents, sophomores tell their parents, juniors tell their parents when they are admitted to graduate school

In the past, we had a bit of a contradiction about this matter. He said that he was protecting me by not disclosing it to my parents,

I know his concerns because his parents pay special attention to his study.

Now he is taking the postgraduate entrance examination for World War II in the boarding camp. I am preparing for the public examination. I have to go to other places for examination these days. It may take three days to go back and forth.

I want him to accompany me on the way or stay with me. He is also worried about my safety,

But he didnt want to go. He felt delayed in his study and was afraid that his parents would know. I could understand his concerns, but he was still not very comfortable.

In fact, I dont know if Im really important in his heart.

In recent years, he has taken good care of my material life, but he always feels that there is something missing in the spirit, but he cant tell me the shortcomings.

Long distance love, usually chat is eating, drinking, sleeping or what happened, it is difficult to have emotional communication.

And every time we communicate, we have to quarrel, and the quarrel doesnt coax me very much. His way of making friends is to send a message that he is ready to eat.

Im still angry. If I dont answer the news or reply mm-hmm, I want cold war and cold violence,

Very aggrieved, why let me angry sad, aggrieved have to sleep a sleep, self-healing.

What is missing in the end? Why is there no sense of spiritual support?

Reply:

Rather than saying that you dont have a sense of belonging, its more accurate to say that you lack a sense of security and confidence in your future.

First, he has broken his promise again and again.

When he was a freshman, when he said that he would tell his parents when he was a sophomore, maybe you were not very sensitive and could still hold an expectation.

When he tells his parents again when he is a sophomore, you will inevitably be a little disappointed, but you can still understand.

But when I was a junior, I broke my promise and told my parents that I would take the postgraduate entrance examination,

But there is bound to be a certain degree of frustration and doubts and concerns about your feelings.

Whats more, being honest with your parents about your love can be said to be the first step in identifying a relationship.

Therefore, no matter what reason he explains to you, you will eventually become more sensitive by accumulating disappointment again and again in your heart.

Second, when you need his company and care, he didnt give you a reliable response.

To tell you the truth, nowadays, it is very convenient and safe to go to most places,

Under normal circumstances, even a girl doesnt have to be accompanied by someone. Your boyfriend is preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination, which is a bit of a waste of time.

Its just that girls want to have a boyfriend with them when they go to a strange city,

Maybe you can understand that he cherished his time to prepare for the war in order to go to graduate school and confess your love to his parents,

Im also afraid that his parents will blame him for not paying attention to his study after knowing it. Im afraid that if you havent been frank with your feelings, you will feel that you are a girl who is delaying him.

But after all, his attitude and expression lack of emotional intelligence, which will inevitably make you have a sense of loss and not being cared about, which is the reason for your inner discomfort.

Third, in the face of long-distance love, you are people who have few topics and lack of deep-seated inner communication,

In addition to the heart to heart quarrel, he is not a delicate mind, do not know how to coax your boy.

This will undoubtedly add to your lack of security and recognition.

In this era when we are not particularly short of basic materials, we pay more attention to the inner feelings.

Although its right to give a better material life to the one you love, sometimes it will lead to greater misunderstanding without emotional input.

That kind of feeling, to use an incomplete metaphor, is the feeling of being fostered.

So, in front of a long-distance relationship that has been talked about for several years, but has repeatedly reneged on his promise to be frank with his parents,

Not only care, accompany, care and care for the nourishment and make up, but also in the inner run-in is always counterproductive to cause a quarrel.

These are the things that are lacking between you, and thats why you dont feel supportive and insecure.

If he does not cherish and change will lose, but still do nothing, it can really prove that he does not love you.

Therefore, some issues may be sensitive and they may quarrel.

Since you have consulted, it shows that you still have hope for this relationship, and even have certain confidence in him.

Therefore, in the absence of more accurate proof that he does not love you.

I will not insist that he is a scum man or do not love you, because it is possible that he is a straight man who does not know how to express his heart.

But I still have to have a degree, meet their willing to pay and have marriage expectations of love, to learn to cherish.

And after the effort, if the other party can not give you the bottom line expectations, it also need to know how to stop loss in time.

-END-