I often quarrel because I dont control my fierce face. Its useless to explain because Im not gentle enough.
At the same time, I am a straight man who is careless and doesnt notice the details. She is a girl with delicate mind and demands for life and details, so she always has a lot of dissatisfaction with me.
Every day, she will be angry. She thinks that I did not do well, and most of the situation will turn into a quarrel. Of course, if I can catch the unhappiness and coax or get along well, I should be able to get through it.
But I dont really want to analyze problems and solve problems, for example, to clarify our differences and find ways to make both sides understand each other. My problem is that I am really tired and dont want to quarrel again.
If she cant understand me, I want to cut off the contact as much as possible, take good care of myself, take care of her when she has energy, and cut off the contact if she has no energy.
How can I change my situation, or do I isolate myself when Im so tired and try to live a good life first?
Ill probably translate it for myself and my readers first, starting with but I dont really want to analyze and solve problems to the meaning of the latter part.
That is to say, you dont want to reach an understanding, you dont want to change, your only purpose is not to fight. The way you used to deal with it is to coax your girlfriend when you are in a mood. If you are not in a mood, you can leave her in the air and wait until you are in a mood.
Your question is, how to achieve a state of no quarrel, do you want to continue the cold treatment like before, or will there be other ways?
I think there are, that is, break up, break up really will not quarrel.
Since you say that you dont want to analyze and solve problems, I respect you and do not analyze your personality and relationship patterns.
But I have to say that at present, you dont want to analyze the problem, solve the problem, and do not want to reach the understanding state, which is already very negative.
This kind of negativity may come from you being very tired, it may come from your lack of confidence to solve it, or it may be that you have tried to solve it but failed.
Your cold treatment may be to avoid face-to-face quarrels and conflicts, but it is also a way to hurt feelings. In the end, its just that you cant stand it, or she cant stand it. Its equivalent to saying to the attending doctor that I dont want to treat the disease, so I think its no longer painful. You can give me an injection of morphine.
If its just for you, its OK. The way of cold treatment is a kind of torture of cold violence to her, isnt it?
Instead of procrastinating to the day when you cant stand each other, youd better tell your girlfriend this mentality now. She may not know what you think now, and may still have a glimmer of fantasy that your problem can be solved.
Its not fair to her, and arent you suffering?
Finally, even if conservative treatment, what you said about live a good life first is just self deception. If you run into problems, you will run away and let her hang. This is not really a good life.