Third trimester, the husband meets the first lover, continues or gives up?

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 Third trimester, the husband meets the first lover, continues or gives up?


01

Q: My wife and I have been married for eight years, and my child will soon be in grade one. Recently, I feel that my wife treats my colleagues more than I and my children. She often says that she doesnt feel good for me. After listening, she is very sad. What should I do?

Xie Jichun

Beijing cuckoo psychological counseling center

A: Everything has a good side and a bad side. Youve already said the bad side. On the bright side, she can directly tell you I dont feel any more about you and you can see that she is more attentive to her colleagues than to her family.

You may ask, how is this good?

There are two reasons:

2u3001 What can be said and done openly is much lower risk of cheating and empathy than that of concealment and careful concealment.

Although you are sad to hear what she said,

in my submission,

She is more likely to remind you, or even herself, that your marriage is entering a period of fatigue and needs some new stimulation.

For example,

Then your positive feedback will warm up, and your positive feedback will send out some good signals.

For example,

The marriage time is long, the husband and wife cant remember to sprinkle sugar into the marriage, inevitably light as white water, at this time sprinkle a little salt is also a taste.

According to the above logic, there are two ways of thinking.

One is to tell her how much you care about her, and how sad and jealous you are.

I think you havent expressed love with your wife for a long time.

Second, you can think about what you can do to make marriage more interesting and make family life more fun?

Q: I am now in the third trimester of pregnancy. Not long ago, my husband met his lover in junior high school. They have been in contact with each other and have expressed their feelings to each other. My husband even wants to be with her, but he is worried that there will be various problems in reality. Now my husband will still care about me, but he still cant let go of his first love. I dont want to keep this state. What should I do?

Xie Jichun

Beijing cuckoo psychological counseling center

I just dont know,

Behind your calmness is reason suppressing emotions (for example, for the sake of children), is it grief that is greater than death, or do you have no feelings for him.

But its hard to achieve because half of the determinants are in your husband.

Besides,

What you can do now is to be honest about what you really think, make choices, and be prepared to take the consequences of your choices.

You need to integrate sensibility and rationality, add realistic factors, arrange and combine them, and see what your inner needs are.

For the next step, to continue or to give up,

You can have the following several ways to deal with it, but not limited to this. Each person, each couples situation is different, can not be listed one by one.

Some surveys have found that the cheating rate of men during pregnancy and lactation is high,

It may be because the wife pays more attention to the children at this time, which leads to the loss of men. You can talk about the reasons for this.

Give each other some time.

If both sides confirm that they have no feelings for each other, they should talk about the childs care, and then break up peacefully - divorce.

Experience tells me that when many people ask questions, they already have their own opinions.

Can a stranger, even a counselor, know more about himself than you do?

Can you make the decision for you?