Recently, the love suspense drama white moonlight starred by Song Jia and Yu Entai has been popular.
In the play, the heroine Zhang Yi is an excellent architectural designer, a gold lettered signboard of ZH company, and a partner of a large company. She is recognized as a strong woman.
Her husband, Zhang Xin, was once an excellent architect. Later, she quit the workplace to take care of her daughter and became a full-time father.
Zhang Xin washes and cooks at home every day, reads stories to her daughter, wakes her to sleep, takes her to kindergarten, and accompanies her to dance lessons
He not only takes good care of his daughter, but also takes good care of his wife. The family is happy, warm and loving.
Zhang Yi originally thought that Zhang Xin would always be the best father and his marriage would be happy forever. However, an ambiguous text message in his mobile phone disturbed her calm heart.
He has an affair with wechat customers; during her business trip, she videos with him, in which a woman in red high-heeled shoes flashes behind him; he has a close relationship with sun Wenwen, the kindergarten teacher of his children
Finally, she found that her husbands real cheating object was her new friend Yang Yan.
Yang Yan is a divorced middle-aged woman, with a son, talent and appearance are not as good as Zhang Yi.
Zhang Xins mother asked her son, why do they have to tangle with Yang Yan when they have such a good wife at home?
Zhang Xin replied in this way:
At that time, I was really tired. If it wasnt for her, I couldnt hold on to accompany me for nothing in return.
After watching the whole play, we seldom see Zhang Yis concern for her husband.
Zhang Xin has been doing wechat business for more than a year and has become a friend of women. These Zhang Yi know nothing about it.
Zhang Yis care for his daughters smile should also be rare. This can be seen from the fact that Xiaoxiao is very sticky to his father, but relatively estranged from his mother.
My daughter has been in kindergarten for so long. When she went to pick up the child, the teacher didnt know that she was a smiling mother.
Before deciding to divorce, the couple sat in the car. Zhang Xin said to Zhang Yi:
Housework, in fact, is a very grinding thing. It is not easy to take care of the whole family alone.
Whats more, Zhang Xin was also an excellent architectural designer. In order to help his wife become a family cook, he must have suffered a lot of pressure psychologically.
Unfortunately, Zhang Yi, who was busy with his work, did not notice.
Zhang Xin has never confessed his inner feelings with his wife.
Because of his humble love.
In his heart, he thinks that Zhang Yi chose to marry himself not because of love, but because he is a safety card.
After ten years of marriage, he worked hard every day to make her happy and eager for her care. Finally, because of psychological imbalance and derailment, his wife was injured black and blue.
The family pattern in white moonlight is that the female takes charge of the external affairs and the male takes the responsibility of the inside.
In feudal society,
The social culture that men are superior to women creates the traditional family pattern of men taking charge of external affairs and women taking charge of internal affairs. We have been used to this model for many years.
However, with the development of society, there are more and more professional women. Both husband and wife work as the mainstream of the society, and the marriage relationship has naturally changed.
Li Yinhe, a sociologist, once conducted a survey on family relations in Chinese cities,
It turns out that,
In a new marriage relationship, new problems will naturally arise.
In 2010, a research report from Cornell University pointed out that:
Among 18-28 year-old couples who have been married or cohabited for more than a year, men who are totally dependent on womens income are five times more likely to cheat than those whose incomes are relatively flat. When men rely on womens income, their self-esteem is often nowhere to be placed, and their sense of loss is doubled. Therefore, it is easier to find women who are weaker than themselves to meet their self-esteem needs and get value recognition.
In such a relationship, how can the husband hold his self-esteem and adjust his psychology?
What can a busy wife do for her family to make her husband more balanced?
How to find a comfortable way to get along with each other?
Whether these problems can be effectively solved determines the trend of marriage.
If the husband and wife can find a suitable way to get along with each other, then the marriage will develop healthily. Otherwise, it will easily lead to cheating, such as Zhang Xin in white moonlight.
Is it all womens fault that the marriage between a strong woman and a weak man breaks down?
Is the marriage between a strong woman and a weak man doomed to no way out?
Career minded unmarried women, can do their homework ahead, choose a gentle, patient, open-minded man.
Only men who are strong in heart and dont care about external evaluation can have enough strength to support a woman to be what she wants to be.
In the marriage of strong women and weak men, men may suffer from various misunderstandings and even be joked as soft rice. Only men with open-minded personality, self-confidence and high self-worth can laugh it off.
His recognition of self-worth comes more from his own inner abundance, and does not need to rely on external evaluation, and he does not need to brush his sense of existence by cheating.
Such men have enough strength to give their partners more security.
So how can you tell if the other person is the one who can really support you?
When you are in love, you can try to ask him the following questions to understand his attitude:
If my job is busier than you, would you like to take on more housework?
If I have a promotion opportunity, but I dont have so much time to take care of my family, will you support me?
If we all have to work overtime and no one goes to the kindergarten to pick up the children, what should we do?
Then, look at his reaction, from the expression to the tone, can be recognized.
In communication, dont just talk about romantic affairs, but talk about each others views on marriage.
If he talks a lot, his values will be revealed, unless he works in the Security Bureau.
If the marriage mode of strong women and weak men has been opened, how can we manage the marriage so that the marriage can last for a long time?
First, no matter how busy the work is, women should not neglect to care about their families.
One of my girlfriends is an agent of a famous brand cosmetics. She often travels all over the country.
Her husband is a middle school art teacher, and his work is relatively relaxed, so the burden of taking care of the elderly and children basically falls on her husbands shoulders.
She is well aware of her husbands tiredness. Every time she is away on business, she does not forget to call home and chat with her husband even if she is busy late at night.
In this way, although the girlfriend often travel, but the heart between husband and wife is closely linked.
Work is important, but the company of family is equally important. For ordinary people, without a home, work has a lot less meaning.
Second, no matter how high and powerful women are outside, when they return home, they should return to the roles of mother and wife in time, and the family status of husband and wife should be equal.
There is a story like this:
Once, Queen Victoria had a quarrel with her husband.
The husband went back to the bedroom alone, and he couldnt leave the house.
The queen wanted to go back to her bedroom and had to knock at the door.
Victoria replied haughtily, Queen.
Unexpectedly, the husband neither opened the door nor spoke.
She continued to knock at the door.
Who? Asked inside.
Victoria. The queen answered, lowering the noise.
The door was still open, and the queen, with patience, knocked again.
I am your wife.
The queen answered softly.
As soon as the voice dropped, the door opened.
In different occasions, play a different role, we will have a good interpersonal relationship.
So is the relationship between husband and wife.
We will inevitably encounter many difficulties,
When the wife comes home, she can take off her professional armor and tell her husband about her grievances and difficulties. She can rely on her shoulder to relax herself and rely on her.
Third, the wife should give affirmation and respect to the husbands contribution in the family.
No ones contribution to the family is taken for granted.
If the man who often undertakes housework does not get due recognition and respect, he can easily find emotional satisfaction from women other than his wife.
Vice versa, if the full-time wifes hard work has not been recognized by her husband, it is also easy to cheat.
Both men and women need psychological balance.
In the marriage of strong women and weak men, women try their best to let their husband be the master of family affairs, which can alleviate his sense of loss caused by the loss of external control and enhance his sense of security in marriage.
Fourth, the husband should be more considerate of his wifes work.
No matter how strong a woman is, she has a weak side and needs the gentle care of her husband.
Fu Seoul, a well-known debater of wonderful flowers, often goes out to participate in the program recording. The burden of taking care of children and parents falls on her husband Lao Liu.
Lao Liu is an ordinary person, gentle and cultured. Their husband and wife pattern is a typical female strong male weak type.
In 21 days before marriage, Lao Liu said to Fu Seoul:
You are a very strong woman, even a very strong woman, but in fact only I know that you are a girl who needs protection and care. I have guarded the innocence in your heart for ten years.