First of all, defining love is a very difficult thing.
If we listen to peoples understanding of the conventions of love, then we can think that love includes three factors: passion, intimacy and commitment.
Therefore, love is composed of at least three conditions.
This condition, to put it bluntly, is that ones hormones are at work.
That is: at first sight, when we see this person, the comprehensive value presented by TA has a strong attraction to you.
1) Reproductive value: appearance, figure, and other sexual attractiveness, that is, the external presentation of a persons genes.
2) Survival value: dress, taste and talk indirectly reflect a persons social class.
Condition 2: intimacy
Intimacy can be cultivated.
The preconditions for its formation include: both sides have enough time to get to know each other, and both sides have enough opportunities to show themselves.
This process is actually a kind of intimate behavior between the two sides. In this process, the two sides penetrate each other, and finally reach the state of intimacy.
Generally speaking, intimacy is what you are willing to say to TA, not necessarily to others.
Therefore, intimacy is essentially a process of gaining trust.
Therefore, intimacy needs to be based on trust.
Condition 3: commitment
This is even harder to do. It means an important moment.
Commitment is a manifestation of giving. It is doing what we say. It means we should do what we have said.
Its conditions will be more complex: whether the other party has met our expectations, whether the mutual expectations of both sides can reach the reasonable range recognized by each other, and whether the time is ripe to fulfill the conditions, etc.
Two people can cultivate a sense of intimacy, share secrets, develop business together, and even give each other a commitment to form a very deep intimate relationship; however, there is no way to cultivate passion between two people.
Because passion comes from the attraction of the moment, it is the first impression of fireworks, only a few can burn, the vast majority is not lit.
When we meet each other for the first time, it happens. It has no second chance. So many times, we will feel if life is just like the first sight.
In a word, love must be based on various conditions.
But if you ask me what conditions do you need for love, first of all, you should ask yourself how to judge love.
If a person thinks that love is that two people live together so simple, then its basic condition is that both people have a certain material basis.
If one thinks that love is like what I just said, it needs at least these three conditions, then love probably needs these.
Love, at least three factors
In addition to the above three conditions, love also needs three factors: discipline, concentration and patience.
So what does discipline, concentration, patience have to do with finding a boyfriend / girlfriend? What does it have to do with getting love?
We set a goal for ourselves, and set a series of rules around it, and do it.
For example, it is very difficult for us to become a person who can quickly meet strangers, know five people a day, and be able to do it ourselves.
2) Focus your attention
For example, if we need to master the ability to meet strangers quickly, we must learn to pay attention and observe the person who has just passed by
What kind of person is he?
Is he wearing a wedding ring?
What kind of expression does he have?
To speculate on the story behind him, excluding all the interference from all factors, is to focus.
And then, after we met that person, do we really know what were saying to strangers?
Do we know the meaning behind what he said?
Only by paying attention can we detect the micro expression on his face, see his eyes, and know whether his pupils are dilated, which is absolutely impossible when we are not paying attention.
Therefore, focusing can make you observe more information, observe what others want, and be satisfied quickly.
It also allows us to reflect on what we have just said wrong after we have talked to others? Which sentence responds better?
If a girl pays attention, she can see how the man in front of her shows herself, whether he has patience with the waiter or not, and whether she is shouting and drinking?
If we are playing with the cell phone, we miss the expression that he is scolding the waiter.
We have to focus to be able to sense whether the other person likes us or not.
A man can play, but he cant always play. He cant keep playing every minute and every second. So, when we focus on it, we can notice.
If we are a man, if we dont have patience, we will feel that we are anxious and impatient to understand her. We dont even know where this girl comes from and where she goes.
We are also very eager for this girl to give her enough response.
For girls, if they dont have enough patience, they dont know what the man is trying to do, so we can only look at it slowly and patiently.
It is very difficult for us to find a boy who is loyal to us, who is dedicated to us, who is good to us and who can take good care of himself.
Because we have to be patient to know whether the boy is good to himself or not.
A lot of times it takes time to test all this, and you cant see it without patience.
Similarly, if we dont have patience, we cant know who can follow us to the end in the river of life.
Love doesnt have a fixed format.
Nevertheless, there are some basic principles in love that are almost universal.
In fact, the way to meet love is no difference between high and low, only suitable and not suitable.
But the more efficient it is, the more likely it is to succeed.
Active means we are choosing, passive means we are being selected.
Its like: the possibility that a person selects a good fruit and the possibility that a fruit is selected by a good person are totally different. Therefore, when we should take the initiative to learn something, we should take the initiative to learn, so that love can come faster.
Sometimes love is very complicated. It can be divided into two parts: the emotional part and the rational part.
No one of us can control the emotional part of love.
Whether we can fall in love with a person or not, the initial passion is part of our own control.
And all we can control is the rational part.
Love with humanity can last long.
Finally, I would like to send you a paragraph:
In many cases, love is often created, rather than God set a fixed time point from the sky. It requires two people to create a common experience, and create sparks in the experience. Pursue love, do not stop, bless you.
In short, there is no shortcut or secret to love in this world.
If you want to know what is your own love and how to get love, you should choose the way that suits you and walk every step to get what you want in practice.