Xiong Ling: who decides the fate of my achievements

 Xiong Ling: who decides the fate of my achievements

Looking for a dream

First of all, what are your bad grades? How bad is it? Then ask, hope to get good grades, what do you need to do well? How good is it? Whats more, you worked hard but didnt get it. Did you spend time but didnt understand it, or did you understand that the emotional problems in the exam affected your performance, or did you pay too much for your study to achieve the harvest you wanted?

According to the information you introduced, your poor grades are not due to your poor foundation or poor intelligence. For example, you say that you usually do a lot of questions, you are flustered when you take the exam, your compulsive examination, bad relationship with people around you, and great pressure In fact, its these things that dominate your poor grades. And youve been doing this for many years, and its certainly necessary to examine the reasons for your personality and thinking patterns that affect your performance. For example, a person with compulsive personality (extremely serious, cautious, sensitive, standardized, stubborn, reasonable, not admit defeat, persistent and perfect in the heart, not allowed to be flawed, etc.), his thinking and attitude towards life always follow the stereotype of right and wrong, infallible, absolutely certain, and either that or linear mode of thinking Form dominates itself.

In such a person, there is a very weak and insecure child in my heart, and this insecure child has gathered many ideal elements such as yearning for beauty, strength, achievement and success, which can also be called ideal self. The psychology of insecurity and ideal self fosters the personality of pursuing perfection. This kind of personality thinking and attitude often makes people have to serve his ideal and stay in a state of high spirits and anxiety for a long time. If he fails to reach his ideal goal, or does not act according to his ideal (superego), he will always feel uneasy, angry, guilty and self reproach. Of course, this is often unconscious.

Therefore, it is certainly not the intelligence problem, but the fragile personality reason of your fear (fear) of failure. Fear of failure can be manifested in many aspects, such as fear of bad exam, fear of being looked down upon by others, fear of failure, fear of bad appearance, etc. Therefore, if you want to have good results, you should first have the attitude of accepting the bad results. Such a posture is actually a kind of mature personality, which requires dream seeking horizon to face up to your excessive introspection and demanding your own personality characteristics, and allow yourself to be more open-minded, that is, to allow yourself to have failures, make mistakes, be inferior to others, and be looked down upon by others Train yourself to imagine that you are only for the exam and not for the result before each exam; what will happen if you dont do well in the exam? For example, who will punish you or what will be lost? Is the classmate laugh at you or do you feel embarrassed? Then make a psychological plan to deal with it. For example, if you are afraid of losing the opportunity to go to a university that can accept your scores, if your self-esteem (face) is too bad, you should consider developing your other advantages to compensate for your self-esteem needs, and so on. Its called designing a variety of ways to be afraid of what if.. In fact, this is also a way to improve the thinking of self-restraint.

No matter why they are nervous and anxious, they all show that the party concerned has excessive yearning for the object they are nervous about, and that they are too strict with themselves. If the fate of their own (true to pay) injustice, rather than to say that the concept of self super or conceited personality of their persecution. Here, I would like to recommend my article interpretation of neurosis phenomenon 4 - who is forcing me and other articles, hoping to have further help for you.

The road of life is not a single one. May you find the self that determines your destiny!

Miss Xiong Ling