If the marriage encounters betrayal, the best way is to seek professional counseling and counseling, but many people are not necessarily brave enough to speak in the consulting room because of their economic or face saving situation. Therefore, in this issue, we will discuss how to better carry out marriage reconstruction. These methods are for reference only. Do not copy them, because everyones marriage is different.
First of all, when the marriage encounters betrayal, if the cheating party expresses that he wants to return, and the other party also chooses to forgive after careful consideration, it is better for the couple to reflect on the reasons for the infidelity together, which will give the injured party a greater sense of security.
Second, if the cheated party often thinks about the past harm and is depressed or lost, the cheating party must have deep sympathy.
For example, holding the other party to admit mistakes and repent: Im sorry, its my fault that makes you still suffer. Such a move has a healing effect on the injured party, and most of the cheating parties believe that as long as they go home, it will be over. In fact, going home is only the beginning of reconstruction. If there is no repentance and care, there will be no reconstruction.
Third, when the cheater is stimulated to tell how he or she was hurt, the best way for the cheater is to listen, not to evade or defend.
Try saying something like this: this is still a big negative impact on you. What can I do to make you trust me again? How can I make up for the harm I have done to you?
Fourth, I suggest that the cheating party tell each other their computer, mobile phone and other passwords, be frank and frank; when on business, it is better to share their whereabouts, hotels or work arrangements of the day, and send out location or video.
Because the past infidelity must contain lies, in order to rebuild trust, we must give sincerity and attitude, so we need to share more real information with each other to increase their sense of security.
Fifthly, it is better for the cheating party to make a solemn apology for the affair itself. If you can, it can be regarded as a ceremony for two people, or it can be a solemn apology in front of relatives and friends, and a new declaration of love oath (the ceremony is not a compulsory choice, and can not be forced). Such a sense of ceremony will help both sides to have a new start feeling and help them to warm up their feelings.
Sixth, the husband and wife should look for the effective channel to establish the affection again
For example, I used to like traveling, but now I have to go out and play regularly and develop new scenic spots and routes; I used to like looking for delicious food, so I would like to continue to use food to evoke good memories of the past, or try new restaurants and cuisines Its better for the cheating party to take the initiative to plan these things, so that the other party can feel that he is not only apologizing in the mouth, but also giving comfort to the other party.
Seventh, the cheating party will also have emotional ups and downs, at this time need to take the initiative to tell their partner their emotions
For example: honey, I did make a mistake. Please forgive me. But when you scold me and criticize me, I am also very frustrated and frustrated, full of helplessness. Can you control your mood properly? So I will be more powerful to cooperate with you, lets go down together. If the partners mood is too uncontrollable, it is best for the couple to seek professional marriage therapists.
About the author: Sun Qiguo
She has been engaged in marriage and love, parent-child counseling and training for 15 years, helping thousands of families live a happy life.