No sex, no love, 75 years of death in the garbage heap was found: advise you not to marry is harmful to you

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 No sex, no love, 75 years of death in the garbage heap was found: advise you not to marry is harmful to you


Source: late night therapy (ID: Shangzhou 2018)

When you are in the most difficult position, you have to have someone around. So sometimes, marriage is still the best choice to resist risks.

01

When it comes to old age, whats your first reaction?

be senile?

unable?

Yesterday, after watching the NHK documentary ten years of living together for seven old people, I had another experience - that is, the elderly can also have the right to choose.

In the documentary, seven women choose a different and conventional pension mode: group support.

That is to leave the family, not rely on children, move to the same place, live together.

The old ladies do the same. They were in the same apartment building, each buying a flat.

Sign the agreement.

It is stipulated to live together, but each has its own space.

Establish SOS special line.

They have each others keys.

On a business trip, the sisters can also help water the flowers and clean the house.

They also bought one more unit. For shared housing.

You can have heart to heart talks, discussions and parties. In this way, you dont have to worry about the encroachment of your private space.

They have a different kind of old age life because of the group pension. We often get together.

Travel together every year.

No marriage, no child, separated from parents, and friends to eat, drink and play together to the end of life.

Its beautiful, isnt it? However, behind this beauty, there is a cruel truth: they get together because they are afraid of dying alone.

02

In the Japanese governments Heisei 30 years old society white book, the 23 districts of Tokyo were taken as a pilot to investigate the status of loneliness death among people over 65 years old. The data are shocking:

In 2016, 3179 people were found dead alone in Tokyo alone.

In 2017, it has risen to 4431.

Thats up 60% from 10 years ago.

Based on this, the Yomiuri Shimbun speculates that there are at least 46000 65 year old people who have died of loneliness in China. And it is increasing year by year at a speed that is hard to estimate.

Photo: Wikipedia

In reality, lonely death is always on. There are celebrity cases - August 3, 2009.

Japanese actor Ryoko Ohara, 62, died of sudden cerebral hemorrhage at home. As she lived alone for many years, no one knew that she had died quietly.

It wasnt until two weeks later that the family found that they couldnt reach the police. When the police opened the door, the room stink, the body has been rotten.

There are also cases of ordinary people - in the documentary no one knows, a 75 year old man was found three weeks after his death.

His name is Ichido Miyagawa. He is unmarried all his life, has a good job, stable income, and a small two-story house. This should be the ideal life of many people, right?

Photo: nobody knows

However, when his parents died, his brothers and sisters got married, and he became an old man living alone.

He gradually stopped going out of the house, and when he became weak, he was unable to walk freely.

After his death, the cleaning company opened his door and found that there was almost no place to settle down. Its hard to imagine how miserable he was at the end of his life.

Photo: nobody knows

Why is loneliness death so serious in Japan? The key lies in the aging of the population.

03

As early as the early 1970s, Japan entered an aging society.

At that time, Japans elderly over 65 accounted for 7.1% of the countrys population.

According to the United Nations world population outlook survey, Japan has become the worlds aging population, the fastest growing country.

It is estimated that by 2060, the elderly over 65 in Japan will be close to 40% of the total population.

Whats terrible is that the aging population is not unique to Japan.

Photo: Wikipedia

In China, the aging population is also quietly coming.

In June this year, China Development Report 2020: development trends and policies of Chinas population aging gave an amazing data:

In 2000, the proportion of Chinas population over 65 years old was about 7% of the total population.

By the end of 2019, the population over 65 years old has reached 176 million,

The proportion soared to 12.6%.

Figure: China Development Report 2020: trends and policies of Chinas aging population

Peoples willingness to marry and have children has declined, and the conventional family structure is no longer the mainstream.

With the irreversible aging of the population, living alone has become a common phenomenon.

When I was young, it was great to live alone. Freedom. And relaxed.

When you are old, the danger of living alone will emerge.

Take care of yourself.

Disease care.

Even calling for help can be a huge problem.

How to deal with it? Many old people think of group support.

04

Group support for the aged is not a new word in China.

As early as 2017, Hangzhou city express once published a collection of group endowment.

Picture: CCTV telling

The sponsor is a 69 year old woman.

His name is Zhang Hao.

In 2012, Zhang Haos wife died. Without her children, she lived alone. She thought it was good to live alone until a serious illness happened and she was tortured and frightened.

Picture: CCTV telling

But found that the cheapest is 3000 per month, not including nursing fees. She cant afford to live. Im not willing to spend the money. What to do?

She thought about it. Maybe we should get together for the aged.

Picture: CCTV telling

Picture: CCTV telling

Zhang Hao is very happy. Immediately bought all kinds of food materials, stocked up the refrigerator, to meet the arrival of the predestined.

But is it really that easy?

She has come a long way from imagination to realization.

05

Before meeting, Zhang Hao was in a high position.

She can choose people.

She thought that the group support for the aged was about to come true. As a result, the reality poured cold water on her.

Some people want to take the opportunity to find a convenient wife.

Photo Zhang Hao was a senior nurse before his retirement. He concealed his medical history and regarded group support as a marriage proposal.

I hope Zhang Hao can serve him to his death.

Picture: CCTV telling

An old couple wanted to stay in her house for half a year because of the decoration. Sitting down on the pick and choose, a pair of the biggest money appearance, there is no sincerity of group endowment at all.

Finally, we found two suitable candidates.

Cohabitation finally started.

Picture: CCTV telling

The group pension plan failed.

06

A lot of people say that Zhang Hao has found the wrong person. She should position the candidate in the circle of friends.

But is it going to work for another person?

Its not easy.

The seven old ladies mentioned above are living cases. When they were young, they chose to be self-sufficient because they didnt want to make do with it. They became outstanding in their respective fields. Can become outstanding, more or less will have strong personality color.

When living alone, being strong can make people take care of themselves. However, it needs cooperation and compromise. This is a big challenge for them.

Ten years ago, they decided to group up for the elderly. At that time, it was agreed that we should share each others problems. However, 10 years of cohabitation, can achieve a clear conscience, no one.

Summarize the life of supporting the aged in groups. The first word they associate with is intricate.

They didnt feel honored as the successful models they were brought out. On the contrary, after 10 years of getting along with each other, they also have doubts about the group endowment.

07

Since the broadcast of an interview with seven Japanese wives, many people have once again decided that group support is the best way to provide for the aged.

But with all due respect, its really difficult to achieve the goal of supporting the elderly in groups.

First of all, the threshold is very high.

Group endowment requires a common residence or neighbor. In the same community, buy an apartment.

But the economic cost is very high, how many people can buy a suite in the elderly?

Or live together, it will appear, similar to Zhang Haos dilemma.

The unequal cooperative relationship leads to the group pension against the original intention. Since the people who leave the house are landlords, how can they be intimate friends?

Photo: Zhang Hao quarrels with one of the cohabitants just because the other person likes to play with his mobile phone. She thinks its impolite. Secondly, her habit is hard to change.

Can choose to live alone, most of the personality is relatively independent, but independence and strength, often complement each other.

When you were young, because you didnt want to make do with it and chose to work alone, you were used to the freedom of living alone.

When you get old, can you change your mind, integrate into the group, and cater to other peoples living habits?

Ill be patient for a while, maybe.

08

How to deal with the crisis of old age? I have two suggestions.

I find that many young people nowadays look down on the traditional family structure. They pursue true love. He is eager to enjoy freedom and thinks that family is a constraint and a burden.

Especially after the occurrence of various malignant events, fear of marriage every day has become a popular saying among young people.

Photo: Group endowment agreement formulated by Zhang Hao

The child abandons, the partner divorces, must assume the corresponding legal responsibility.

Whether the other party can abide by it or even give timely help when you are in danger depends on the character of the other party.

So, I still agree that if you meet good people, you can start a family.

2. Economic independence.

But no matter which lifestyle you choose, I hope you will always remember the truth that only the money in your hand is the most loyal to you.

Choose marriage, economic independence is the foundation.

It gives you a voice in your marriage. It gives you a choice after divorce.

Choose celibacy, economic independence is the foundation of life.

When you are young, your ability to make money determines the quality of your life. When you get old, the amount of money you save determines whether you can keep your dignity.

When you come to the end of your life, you need to face such practical problems as illness care, life extension treatment, body treatment, grave and so on. And if you want to deal with these things, it will inevitably point to your economic level.

Nowadays, more and more people have higher requirements for spiritual needs. No one is willing to make do with it.

Whether its work, marriage, life. Once in the world, everyone hopes to live a happy life.

However, I dont want to tell you, its a fairy tale.

I dont want you to carry a beautiful fantasy, go to the end, can only accompany with garbage, be devoured by loneliness.

Life is cruel. People who can live easily and happily have a hard background.

But thats not the majority.

Every step under our feet, has been silently doomed, how we will die.

So, work hard!

(function(){( window.slotbydup=window .slotbydup||[]).push({id:u5811557,container:ssp_ 5811557, async:true }Source: zaker, Yanzhao evening news, Shijiazhuang editor in charge: Xun Jianguo_ NN7379