The essence of marriage is a community of interests between men and women. Only when the interests of both sides can be maximized, can such a marriage be the strongest.
The relationship between men and women begins with feelings, falls into money and is loyal to human nature.
However, when there is only calculation between men and women, what happiness does marriage have for us?
Recently, on the hot spot of Zhihu, I saw such a question:
Is it easy for rural men to get married when they are admitted to civil servants?
Although there are only a few answers at the bottom of the question, there is an anonymous high praise answer, but it stinks so much that it causes physical discomfort.
In the eyes of this netizen, as long as there is a civil servants identity, marriage is a very simple thing.
But if you want to improve your class through marriage, you must learn how to operate
Its not difficult for a handsome man, after all,
You dont care about your original family. There are a lot of rich women who only look at their faces.
However, most of the rural boys are ugly, so they have to learn how to operate with the host.
First, learn to hide.
Even if you have a variety of feudal concepts such as valuing men over women, you must not show your real ideas, but create a mainstream values for yourself
Secondly, you cant buy expensive clothes for yourself.
If rural men want to pursue urban rich women, it is not important to match their appearance, but to look stable and reliable is the right choice
Third, we should read more foreign books and watch more foreign films.
This, of course, is to improve their self-discipline and to have a common topic with the rich women in the city
Fourth, buy a scooter.
Fifth, be willing to spend small money.
Usually eat, see a movie this kind of small money must give, have nothing to often send a few yuan of red envelope to show their generosity.
After all, I cant bear a child without a wolf:
Sixth, choose the right people.
In other words, it means finding the right target. After all, you cant have both fish and bears paw.
Either its not beautiful to find a job, its suitable to be a wife, or its close to it; or its not good to find a job, but its beautiful enough. This kind of general family background is very superior.
Of course, if you are not sure about your goal, you should mainly look for elderly leftover women aged between 28 and 30, because their parents are anxious to get married, and the cost performance ratio is very high:
Seventh, take the other parent.
After all, marriage is not a matter for two people. If you can get the consent of their parents, it will be regarded as a success.
In the process of contact with the parents of the other party, they must show that although they are poor, they are determined. They should put the other party first and pretend to do their best in order to gain the sympathy and trust of the parents of the other party
Eighth, turn away from guests.
At this point, the wife and resources have been basically in hand, and the rest is how to make yourself comfortable.
At this time, you can slowly expose your true nature. If the other party cant accept it, you should create public opinion. The other party is dislike the poor and love the rich to win sympathy.
Of course, the premise of these is that you must have a baby soon, preferably with a second child.
In this way, even if the woman cant bear it, she will continue to choose forbearance for the sake of children and fame
Finally, the respondent summarized the essence of his operation method
After reading a large article, it makes people shudder.
We dont know how many people have such a wishful thinking in reality, and how many girls are being squeezed out bit by bit.
Whats more, they thought they had found a happy home, and thought they could stay with each other for life.
But I didnt see his beastly eyes when he talked about interests.
Any girl, to them, is just a tool to realize class crossing through marriage.
To avoid this hole of poverty alleviation marriage, the TV series double faced adhesive tape 13 years ago warned us.
Li Juan, the female owner, is a typical Shanghai girl. She grew up in a honey pot from xiaopao. Although her family is not rich, her parents have stable jobs.
Yaping, the male leader, comes from the northeast rural area. After graduating from University, he stayed in Shanghai to work. He has no resources, no contacts, and cant afford to buy a house. He is a thorough Phoenix man.
However, the heart is not enough to swallow the elephant.
Li Juan regards Yaping as her life-long dependence, but Yaping only uses her as a tool.
A dish of stewed pork is important to her husband and father-in-law. If she eats one more piece, she will be scolded as greedy
Obviously, she and her husband have to work to earn money, but her husband can sit on the sofa and watch TV after work, but she has to undertake all the housework
When I was a child, I always thought there was love between Yaping and Lijuan.
But now I am surprised to see that Yaping doesnt love Lijuan at all. He just takes her as a springboard.
Li Juan is his bridge from the countryside to Shanghai. It is his own household machine and fertility tool. It is a shortcut for him to fight less for 20 years.
The beneficiary is not only himself, but also his family.
Finally, Yaping, encouraged by his mother, frantically smashes his fist at Li Juan.
It is chilling that the archetype of this beautified story in the film and TV series has been killed alive in reality.
They even asked their parents in law who had already contributed 28 tables of wedding banquet money and pasted the wedding room upside down to buy a wedding room for their younger brother again.
One man gets the way, the dog rises to the sky.
Finally, Wu Lijun, who gave birth to her daughter, was beaten to death by her husband.
Her mother still lives in the Shanghai Mental Health Center.
And what about the husband she once loved?
The murderer grinned at us and said that he wanted to get rid of poverty of the whole family by looking for a Shanghai woman. Now the husband-in-law in Shanghai refuses to give money to his family. What is the purpose of keeping the Shanghai wife?
Most of the time, life is far more cruel than TV series.
After Shanghai girl Yang Liping was strangled to death by her husband Zhu Xiaodong, her body was hidden in the freezer for 105 days; Xiaojie, a Tianjin girl whose daughter was only 20 months old, was brutally killed because of her husbands $800, 000 dowry
The boat of marriage turns over.
In this poverty-stricken marriage full of calculation, what they lose is not only money, but also their expectation and confidence in marriage.
When we continue to emphasize the idea that marriage must be well matched, there are always some voices who are against each other
A lot of well-matched people, did not they end up unhappy?
But have you ever thought that those marriages that dont belong to the same family will be very difficult from the very beginning.
In a marriage, the most difficult problems are not regional culture and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
But the daily necessities of life, and they are often behind the economic foundation, and even the impact of values.
For a poor person, a partner is not someone who can support each other for the rest of his life, but someone who can be used by him.
We often say marriage means living together, but that doesnt mean you can dedicate your life.
The real living in partnership requires the joint efforts of two partners, rather than one partys giving and yielding without bottom line.
Marriage is support, not poverty alleviation.
Happiness can only be said if one is equally matched.