When the marriage is betrayed, the relationship between the two people will be completely destroyed, and the trust will be reduced, so that they cant communicate sincerely. In addition, what you are facing now is not only the people who hurt themselves by betrayal, but also the people who are inseparable from each other, and even the people you most rely on at this time. You have both love and hate in your heart Influencing behavior, its hard to find an appropriate attitude to get along with each other.
In addition, you still dont have a clear decision about the future, so its very difficult for you to grasp this degree. If you are too good about TA, you are afraid that they will underestimate the harm they will do to themselves; if they have a bad attitude towards TA, they will never return.
My suggestions can be summed up in three aspects
Dont make unnecessary sacrifice for fear of losing this relationship, and make yourself more humble. Go to beg and please each other. Because it is hard to recover in such a way. It will only make the other party ignore you and care about you more. You take the initiative to lower your posture, of course, others look down on you.
At the same time, we should not further deteriorate the relationship between the two sides because of the betrayal of the other party. Because the outcome of the marriage is not clear at the moment. If you have decided to end it, it doesnt matter. However, you are ambiguous at present, or you want to recover your feelings. You should learn to control your emotions and not to worsen the relationship. Correspondingly, some parts of your marriage that should be done should still be done well.
Second, to deal with the relationship between husband and wife with the relationship of friends.
This is an effective method, you can try it.
In the final analysis, the relationship between husband and wife is still a social relationship, so it is more appropriate to deal with the relationship between husband and wife at this stage with the relationship of friends.
What is a friend relationship, that is, what should care about you, I will still care, and I will still be harmonious with you; however, I will not sacrifice my own feelings and try not to force myself.
This involves an adjustment and change, that is, there will be camouflage necessary for social interaction. The purpose of camouflage is not to be insincere, but to obtain a more harmonious interpersonal relationship. Just as we get along with our colleagues, we may not like some of them, but on the surface, we are still friendly, not offending each other or making enemies, which is what we often call hospitality.
Of course, such a kind of adjustment and change is more difficult for those who are straightforward in character and who are not black or white.
Third, do what you want and respect yourself.
Therefore, with the help of the running in of the new relationship after betrayal, we may as well take the opportunity to adjust ourselves, that is, we should give priority to our own feelings, respect and protect our feelings. Correspondingly, we should not always consider the other party, and do not always put the feelings of the other party ahead of you - because you are hurt now, your first priority is to make your situation better, rather than continue to sacrifice yourself Self.
Therefore, you have to let go of the corresponding concerns, which is of course a breakthrough for yourself. This process, you will feel very uncomfortable, for example, in the past, you used to use the other partys thinking to think, use the other partys preferred way to deal with, but now, you should give priority to yourself, use your favorite way to deal with.
You may worry that if TA is not satisfied with me, will he betray me more thoroughly? This is what I mentioned just now. You have to eliminate your worries. Dont be afraid to lead to dissatisfaction in your own way. Because in the past, when you used the way that the other party was satisfied with, didnt the other party betray himself?
More importantly, the more people can respect and protect their feelings, the more active they are in the relationship; on the contrary, the more people care about each other, the more they are used to sacrificing their feelings, the more passive they are in the relationship.
Therefore, in getting along with each other, I often ask myself what I like to do and what I dont like to do. First of all, I think about myself. Thats what I want. If the other party chooses to completely end the relationship with you because you care about yourself, then it is not a pity for such a marriage to end. For such a person, its no big deal to give up. On the contrary, you should thank TA, otherwise you dont have the courage to choose to end.