In the past, a lot of people have analyzed the cheating husband and wife. Few people pay attention to the women who have been the third party. What kind of people are they? Why do they choose such an emotional path? Are they entangled with their choices?
In fact, there are many kinds of third party, and the answers given by different third party are naturally different.
The so-called fishing girl -- W
My classmate w asked me to have dinner today. Sure enough, just like I thought, she would like to continue to discuss with me: the child has just participated in the college entrance examination this year, and her major has been determined. She only has to choose a good school and she is liberated. Will she go to another city to join her lover?
About this lover, during the dinner, I learned a lot of secrets that I didnt know before.
This man is a married man. But its not the first married man w found.
This is her wish. I dont know if its the lovers wish.
W entered the society after graduating from junior high school. She is the youngest of the family. There are elder brothers and sisters on top of her. The mother who thinks of elder brothers and sisters, neglects and scolds W, dies early because of illness when she is 15 years old. Her father lost his spouse in middle age and is immersed in his own world. Now all elder brothers and sisters are married and each has his own life Lonely like an abandoned child, w finally found the husband who ate for himself and cherished each other in the days when he had no money and no house.
Such a day goes on, may warm to her lonely heart. Unfortunately, as the old saying goes, full of warmth and lust, the more affluent the day is, the husband is addicted to gambling. He goes home after 12 oclock every day, 365 days a year, almost every day.
Later, she said that she would divorce her child when she was 18 and took the college entrance examination. Later, she got to know her current lover. When her child was a sophomore in high school, she rushed to the court to sue for divorce and resigned early
Now she has been divorced for two years. Every time I see her, the words she often hear are I need a man, I dont have sex, I have endocrine disorders, I will get sick, accompany me to dinner, and the people who treat me promise to introduce me men
Now that he has a lover who is willing to arrange the future of his children and promises to spend his old age with him, why does w have to look for men everywhere?
Can she realize such a wish? When peoples heart is in short supply, they always try to ask for energy from others.
But how many living realities tell us that how many dreams to be realized by others will come true?
Green tea girl -- X
In fact, X has a good family background.
From childhood to adulthood, my father was an important official in the government, and he had a good access to the town. The poor academic performance in a mess, barely graduated from technical school x sent into the door of public institutions. Among a large number of young talents, they are looking for, observing and selecting the golden tortoise son-in-law who is worthy of his daughter.
The weather is unpredictable, Dad suddenly died in his sleep. The pillars of a family suddenly fell down, and the house fell apart.
Overnight, X grew up.
For men, X is considerate, coquettish, courteous, and forced marriage. So many times, but no one can be trapped.
The most tragic thing is that when he met a tyrannical president with a bad temper, he couldnt bear to pester and cry and beat him to death. In a panic, X jumped from the second floor and broke his right leg. X is proud of a pair of long legs from the fall, slightly disabled.
Surprisingly, X suddenly got married and gave birth to a child soon after marriage.
The bridegroom at the wedding disappears after the wedding. It is said that x paid for her performance, so that the child is not born out of wedlock.
No one around has ever seen the father. Its a secret shared by X and her mother.
Now x, with the label of married and child-bearing, lives with her daughter in the company of her mother. Husband often comes to visit x mother and daughter, and stay for a while.
Xs various choices always make people surprised.
Does x, who doesnt take the ordinary road, continue the perfect life brought by dad in intimate relationship? In intimate relationships, we always project the immature part of ourselves on our partner, reproduce it, challenge it and overcome it. Only when the needs of this part are met, can we leave it behind.
Healing the injury of marriage with extramarital affair
L is now 60 +.
Ls marriage was decided by his parents. The husband is the brother-in-laws sister-in-laws sister-in-law. His parents got to know him because of their in laws, and wanted l to marry him. There are two reasons:
First, his mother died early, and l could make up his mind when he married. Second, he had a registered permanent residence in the city. He was demobilized as a soldier and arranged a good job.
These two things can satisfy their two old peoples purpose of living together with L and moving from the countryside to the town, and with this light, l can also find a good job.
L was not satisfied with her marriage partner, but she gave in to her parents pressure and agreed.
The son-in-law chosen by the parents themselves did not let them spend their old age in peace.
Ls very resilient. She made her life more respectable for herself and her family as much as she could. For decades, she went to bed early and got up early every day to keep the house clean. Every year, for a month or two before the new year, she tailors and sews day and night. No matter how difficult it is, the children always change into new clothes inside and outside.
There was no money, no grain, no coal to burn at home. She begged her grandfather and grandma to run around. Men are useless, go out only with others, and then go home empty handed.
Such a day, too hard, too hopeless.
She also wanted to divorce, but with a large family, she was afraid that she could not cope with it.
Later, she did not restrain her desire to be loved and cared for. Unfortunately, those men who she is satisfied with look like strong men in life, but strong arms do not belong to her and can not be relied on for a long time.
What you cant get in marriage, even less outside marriage.
Muddleheaded, old, finally the man gave her freedom. She can finally choose a new life, a new man, and enjoy the happiness that may not last long after she is 60 years old.
The reality didnt follow my heart. My wife and I have different views. Im not willing to do housework. I want l to take care of him. After a lifetime of suffering, l naturally is not satisfied. The two parted unhappily.
When can she understand that people are lonely after all, and it is not easy to face the world alone.
Ls husband was behind her infidelity. Its not just that he didnt give l a good marriage. Whats more, this man has typical borderline personality disorder.
He constantly doubted L and denied her. In the first days of marriage, even l went to the bathroom for a long time, he would doubt and interrogate.
When working overtime and going on business, he would go to her unit and ask for the truth. Finally one day, he put L on the road of derailment, to meet the wish.
Y who regards men as bedding
A good man is the same as his name. He cant find fault in every aspect. I know how to understand womens mind and how to respect women.
Y only enjoy the meeting that can talk, get along. Each other is happy. Although the time of meeting is less than 48 hours a year.
According to y, there are many women in similar situations who choose the right married man to fill their loneliness.
Why not find a single man, a good love it?
Its hard to find a four year old single man! Good men are all in marriage.
Whats more, they have experienced disappointment and no longer have much expectation of marriage. If you dont get married, you will not get along with your boyfriend.
Are there many women like y? Quite a few, frankly.
Such concerns have been raised by y. But he did not resist Liangs persistent and attentive pursuit. At the beginning, you were very enthusiastic. Get along for a long time, should that sentence, passion but two years. Gradually more and more light, a year and a half a year not to meet is normal.
For good to come and go, y is not much stubborn. A person for a long time, even bored in the heart, from now on there is no news, but ended up clean.
She knew in her heart that she would sooner or later get rid of Liang.
We will find that no woman is born to like to be a third party. Most of them begin to give up their own life after experiencing less fortunate things.
Just like fishing girl W, her husband is addicted to gambling, and she and her children fall into misfortune, and the sudden appearance of men has become a good medicine to redeem her; just like green tea girl x, her father died, and her happy life was all broken, which made her realize the cruelty of reality and go to extremes; just like Miss L, she once carried all on her own, worked hard for the family, and finally one day be at the end of one s forbearance...
In fact, as the original match, rather than be affected by a third party and destroy happiness; as a third party, rather than let oneself give up the moral bottom line because of the shadow and misfortune, it is better to realize that the happiness of marriage and emotion is only a small part of all happiness in life, and then use more energy to find the lost self.
There are many kinds of happiness in this world, and there is only one of the best.
Im pan Xingzhi, your close emotional counselor. If you need professional help, send me a private message. Fortunately, I will help you through the emotional crisis.