Xiong Ling: the anxiety caused by the inability to choose

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 Xiong Ling: the anxiety caused by the inability to choose


No choice in life

Choose not to choose or choose?

People sometimes have anxiety when they are faced with either choose or not to choose, and the result of anxiety is often to take evasion, that is, to choose not to choose. For example, when the companys leadership deliberates on whether to approve a persons voting in the leadership group, some people agree, some people disagree, and some abstain. The choice of the last group of people is a no choice choice. A visitor once said that he hated making choices. When playing the hateful game of mother and lover in distress at the same time, you can only save one, he felt the same suffering, and forced to endure the anger of game and never made an answer. As long as I face a choice, I will definitely choose not to choose, he said. And this no choice is actually his choice, which is a helpless choice under the anxiety that he can not choose.

The anxiety of choosing to own or give up.

People will instinctively choose to have things or behaviors that can give people benefits and happiness, that is, they want to have them. However, when multiple advantages cannot be achieved simultaneously, people need to choose one and have to give up the others; similarly, when multiple disadvantages cannot be avoided, there is also a choice. The anxious people who cant choose will not be able to choose what to have and what to give up when they encounter this kind of situation. The choice to give up is more difficult than the choice you have.

More can not choose to show in interpersonal communication, is to choose to accept or reject?

Some people always choose to be possible or not when they analyze and judge things? Yes or no? Do you always choose to do or not before you do something? Attack or defense? Choose truth or deception? Divorce or not? Choose to live or die Endless choices.

Cant choose the reason behind the anxiety

In fact, when people are faced with choice, they will have anxiety to a certain extent, but the difference between normal and abnormal choice anxiety is to see whether a person can make decisions independently in a dilemma. In psychology, neurosis can not choose anxiety, that is, when choosing, hesitant, and because of the delay of time and aggravate anxiety. Or even if you make a selective decision, then you will feel chagrin because you doubt whether the choice is right or not. So, what is the decision behind this non choice?

From the perspective of psychology, the deep psychological development theory explains the anxiety personality of neurosis, which occurs when the original trust is damaged in infants. But in addition, people with anxiety personality are likely to live in a high standard and strict environment, or full of competitive risks. In this environment, people always experience insecurity such as tension, doubt and fear, and their high standards and strict requirements will imperceptibly become their own requirements.

If we look further, it can become a strong desire to be perfect. Those who pursue perfection excessively understand that there is no need to be perfect without perfection, but they just ask for perfection involuntarily. In fact, it is not the perfection itself that attracts him, but the fear of bad in his heart forces him to pursue perfection, so as to avoid the anxiety caused by bad. Any excessive behavior, in fact, has the compulsion, which is ones own helplessness. The so-called non freedom in psychology refers to the compulsive repetition of excessive behavior (that is, the behavior is not controlled by subjective will), and its root is related to peoples anxious personality.

Anxiety stems from the worship of authority and fear of punishment

People are anxious because they are difficult to choose, and there is the illusion of pursuing absolute right behind it. From a psychological point of view, a persons fantasy of absolute concept stems from his early worship of authority and fear of punishment. In fact, this is the same as the early stage of high anxiety interpersonal environment.

Authority here generally refers to people (including themselves), laws and ideological things that people must obey. In the past, everyone has felt the power and function of authority in the past. The cultural connotation of Shun leads to prosperity, and adversity leads to death also illustrates the psychological influence of autocratic culture on peoples authority worship and fear of punishment. Authority symbolizes possession and invincible freedom. In the history of mankind, there have been many wars, invasions, and many people who spare no effort to seek power (authority). Most of them want to have uncontrollable freedom! Its essence is to eliminate the fear of insecurity.

However, relying on authority hides endless worries. Because if you want to make sure your choice is right, you must be afraid of losing the right and bring anxiety. Such a sense of anxiety will further make people feel insecure, so that they are afraid of making mistakes in everything (such as not daring to express their opinions), and they will be anxious and unable to decide whether to take sleeping pills tonight.

Those who are afraid of interpersonal communication, dare not speak, dare not make decisions, dare not talk about cancer, talk about depression The psychological reality of those who dare not a lot is that after the disillusionment of the pursuit of absolute security, they insist on pursuing absolute security again and again.

Can not choose, can also be said to be a chronic anxiety disorder. Its psychological mechanism is also related to peoples irresponsibility and irresponsibility. Because the responsibility is followed by the freedom of choice, which is the responsibility of behavior. The person who can choose freely has confidence to fulfill the corresponding responsibility for the behavior after the choice. The lack of choice often indicates that a person lacks sense of responsibility and behavior ability, and its deep psychological motivation is human dependence complex.

It can be said that the anxiety that cant be chosen is a manifestation of the unfettered mind being controlled.

A calm and relaxed state of mind is a high level of health

If people are not free, to say easy is to say that things have not been solved; to say that the key point is to have fear, so there is a sense of anxiety and foreboding. The former is to rely on the solution of real things to relax the mind. The latter relies on understanding the truth of inner fear and accepting the truth, so as to remove the devil from the heart.

People always want to pursue a state of mind that is calm as a mirror and calm as water. This seems to be a common requirement, but it is difficult for people to achieve a high level. Because, people always carry many wishes and hopes to walk on the road. Ask for peace of mind, ah, quiet, so that this heart full of desire, on the one hand, can only worry about the realization of desire, on the other hand, make every effort to be calm like water. But we finally found that the heart is still so restless, can not be as calm as water Because it is too tired to take care of any aspect, it is difficult to choose freely in life, so it simply does not make any choice.

To relieve the anxiety that cant be chosen, we must liberate the mind from being not free. This must be done to remove the obsessive relationship between me and the concept of absolute security, so that the uneasy heart can be relieved.

Then, theres a lot more to do. For example, to understand what you need and what you can achieve? As well as to cultivate their behavior ability to achieve the needs.