Xiong Ling: a man who struggles with his shadow

category:Lady
 Xiong Ling: a man who struggles with his shadow


A woman, she every day before going out to check whether the windows and natural gas are closed properly, and repeatedly lock several times after closing the door. She knew it was unnecessary, but she just couldnt control it. She attributed herself to the result of being timid and taking things too seriously.

Yes, obsessive-compulsive people do have the personality trait of being too serious. But that doesnt mean she needs to force the windows to close. You know from her early background and growing up experience that she was in a tense and terrible environment when she was young. Her parents unfortunate marriage made her often see her fathers violence and her mothers hysterical fury. She was constantly taught by her father: you cant be playful, you cant be lazy, you must read seriously, you must have a promising future, dont be ignorant and eccentric like your mother. She was constantly taught by her mother: children, you must be obedient, take care of yourself, dont trust others, dont fool around with other children, dont look for someone who is not cultured like your father. In the eyes of the school and outsiders, she is indeed a obedient and well behaved child.

As you can see, she grew up out of control. In her childhood neural memory, there are plenty of earnest instructions of only be, not allowed, must and should be, which will be her action guide to be a good person; in her young emotional memory, she is filled with emotional experiences of tension, fear, doubt, uncertainty and worry, which are the emotional elements of her insecurity, which are the emotional components of her insecurity, and are the foundation of her Over sensitive, introspective, timid and other personality factors will accumulate into a complex of fear or inferiority complex, which will control a persons later behavior invisibly and chronically. For example, in her future interpersonal communication, she will be particularly sensitive to other peoples views and be afraid that others (especially those who are a little aggressive) will hurt themselves. The act of forced closing the window vividly shows that she has the fear of being threatened and afraid of invasion. Unconsciously, by repeatedly closing the door and window, she expresses her desire for security and meets the needs of security and stability. Therefore, her deep worry and uncertainty, as well as the idea that she must be serious, must do well, and can not make mistakes, are the spiritual motivation that forces her to repeatedly close the door and repeatedly check.

Many peoples alcoholism, Internet addiction, autism, depression, etc., are formed in this way. It includes those who are addicted to collection, cleanliness and material dependence. They want to get rid of strange behaviors, but they cant. the appearance is that they lack self-control and are controlled by their addiction. In essence, they are constrained and forced by their inner desire for possession and sex, which they must keep clean and tidy, chaste and pure.

The obsessive-compulsive distress of many people in life is precisely due to the long-term high tension. Therefore, the fundamental way to alleviate the pain is to cultivate a kind of independent belief and independent personality. Of course, this first needs to be done: to correctly understand the honor, success, frustration, resentment, conceit and illusion; to recognize the gap between the ideal self and the real self; to realize the self ideal, we need some conditions, such as not to be forced; to accept the limitations of personality and the situation Failure caused by limitation; accept the ordinary and walk into the reality.