It was revealed that the female colleague liked to comment on food, and the restaurant where they ate that day was called wanghong restaurant. The girl happily took a lot of pictures of the restaurant. Several of them showed the boys arm and clothes. The boy wore a DIY bracelet from my friend, and the clothes also matched. In addition, the female colleague was selected for high-quality comments. So my friend found his boyfriends arm when he was browsing the restaurant evaluation. Ha ha ha ha.
The friends boyfriend told the truth and swore that nothing really happened. The meal was purely to pay off the debt of gratitude paid by the girl before (the boy paid for that time), and they didnt pay attention to each others advances. Since then, the two never met alone. They lied to their girlfriend, just for fear of making things difficult.
(in fact, it was more troublesome in the end
My friend knows what her boyfriend is like. Considering that time point, they have just been dating for a week, which is not stable enough. Since then, the circle of friends and boyfriends has not been vague. My friend has thought for a long time and decided to trust her. Lets go and forgive him.
Although my friend forgave her boyfriend, she always thinks that it is wrong for her boyfriend to eat alone with her secret lover. At least it is wrong to lie. She thinks that her boyfriend owes her a little bit. For a person who has a passion for cleanliness, it really needs ideological construction to tolerate and forgive all this.
But she was wrong. A few days ago, they talked about a more serious topic. My friend said that we were all tolerant of each other. You tolerated my bad temper, and I also tolerated many things about you. Who thought her boyfriend asked directly, what do you tolerate me?
This question surprised my friend. She sent a wechat to ask me if she had too many plays. What she had been entangled with for so long had no weight in her boyfriends eyes. She felt that she could not easily forgive the lying behavior, in the eyes of her boyfriend, was not included in the category of tolerance.
My friends mentality is a little broken, so she has to ask me if it is her own problem. I got to her point all of a sudden, because I also have a passion for emotional cleanliness, and I also have the problem of turning over old accounts. The experience I have summed up from my own experience is that when you decide to forgive each other, no matter how big or small, you should completely forgive, and do not ask the other party to be excited or guilty. If you cant, youd better choose never to forgive.
Most of the time, people cant empathize with the points that you cant relate to. (for example, I have a friend who cares that her husband reported an extra four centimeters in height when he started chatting online, because the matter was about to break up for a time.) even if he lied, even if he was cheating, he would not make the forgiven really feel guilty. (if you are particularly guilty, you may not do it in the first place)
People are always used to find reasons for themselves to find excuses and rationalize their choices. Even if a person is forgiven after cheating, for a long time, if you mention it occasionally, the other party is likely to be justifiable, didnt I apologize, didnt you forgive me, and what else do I have? Its over.
If you decide to tolerate and forgive your lover, you should completely forgive and let go. Dont let the mistake of the other party torment yourself for years. If you feel that you cant do it without breaking old scores and thanking you, dont forgive, dont tolerate, make quick decisions at the beginning, and let each other relax.
You expect an imperfect lover to turn guilt into a motivation to cherish you and love you more. But most of the time, your lover just wants you to forget this part completely and forget the past before you and forgive yourself.
So, whenever life gives us problems and we need to choose whether to forgive or not, I hope you can do it carefully.
Remember to choose the way to make yourself more happy, let go of yourself and others.