No love 75 years, dead in the garbage heap was found: advise you not to marry, is to harm you

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 No love 75 years, dead in the garbage heap was found: advise you not to marry, is to harm you


yesterday,

After watching the NHK documentary ten years of seven old people living together,

I had another experienceu2014u2014

In the documentary,

Seven women entered old age,

Choose a different conventional pension mode: Group endowment.

What is group endowment?

That is to leave the family, not rely on children, move to the same place, live together.

The old ladies do the same.

They were in the same apartment building, each buying a flat.

Sign the agreement.

Establish SOS special line.

Whenever someone calls, the sister who is free will respond.

They have each others keys.

On a business trip, the sisters can also help water the flowers and clean the house.

They also bought one more unit.

You can have heart to heart talks, discussions and parties.

In this way, you dont have to worry about the encroachment of your private space.

We often get together.

They call themselves womens League..

Named each seven, it means that seven people are unrelated families.

Separated from parents,

Eat, drink and have fun with your best friend,

Together to the end of life.

However,

There is a cruel truth

They met because they were afraid of dying alone.

Two

Their concerns are well founded.

In the Japanese governments Heisei 30 year old age society white book,

Taking 23 districts of Tokyo as a pilot, the present situation of loneliness death among people over 65 years old was investigated.

The data are shocking:

In 2016, 3179 people were found dead alone in Tokyo alone.

In 2017, it has risen to 4431.

Thats up 60% from 10 years ago.

The Yomiuri Shimbun is based on this,

And it is increasing year by year at a speed that is hard to estimate.

There are celebrity casesu2014u2014

August 3, 2009.

Japanese actor Ryoko Ohara, 62, died of sudden cerebral hemorrhage at home.

No one knew that she had died quietly.

Until two weeks later,

When the family found that they couldnt get in touch, they called the police.

When the police opened the door,

There was a stench in the room, and the bodies had rotten.

There are also cases of ordinary peopleu2014u2014

In the documentary no one knows,

A 75 year old man was found three weeks after his death.

His name is Ichido Miyagawa.

My parents died,

Brothers and sisters get married,

He became an old man living alone.

He gradually stopped going out of the house, and when he became weak, he was unable to walk freely.

The cleaning company opened his door,

It was found that it was full of garbage and there was almost no place to settle down.

Its hard to imagine how miserable he was at the end of his life.

Why is loneliness death so serious in Japan?

To find out why,

Three

Back in the early 1970s,

Japan has entered an aging society.

At that time,

People over 65 in Japan,

It already accounts for 7.1% of the countrys population.

According to the United Nations World Population Outlook Survey,

Japan has become the worlds aging population, the fastest growing country.

It is estimated that by 2060, the elderly over 65 in Japan will be close to 40% of the total population.

The terrible thing is,

The aging population is not unique to Japan.

In China, the aging population is also quietly coming.

China Development Report 2020: trends and policies of Chinas population aging gives an amazing data:

In 2000,

The proportion of the population over 65 in China is about 7% of the total population.

People over 65 years old,

Peoples willingness to marry and have children has declined,

The conventional family structure is no longer the mainstream.

When I was young, it was great to live alone.

Freedom.

And relaxed.

As you get older,

The danger of living alone will emerge.

Take care of yourself.

Disease care.

Even calling for help,

Can be a huge problem.

How to deal with it?

Many old people think of group support.

Four

Group support for the aged is not a new word in China.

Back in 2017,

Hangzhou City Express,

Once published a group endowment solicitation..

The sponsor is a 69 year old woman.

In 2012,

Without her children, she lived alone.

She thought it was good to live alone until a serious illness happened and she was tortured and frightened.

Im not willing to spend the money.

What to do?

She thought about it. Maybe we should get together for the aged.

Zhang Haos idea is very good.

She has a three bedroom 131 square,

Eat and live together.

Lets live an old life together.

After the collection was issued, the response was very enthusiastic.

In just a few days, there were more than 300 applicants.

Zhang Hao is very happy.

Immediately bought all kinds of food materials, stocked up the refrigerator, to meet the arrival of the predestined.

But is it really that easy?

no

She has come a long way from imagination to realization.

Five

Before meeting, Zhang Hao was in a high position.

She can choose people.

From more than 300 candidates, she finally screened 60 more suitable candidates.

Interview one by one.

She thought that the group pension was about to be realized.

As a result, reality poured cold water on her.

It must be selfish to support the elderly with strangers.

Some people want to take the opportunity to find a convenient wife.

I hope Zhang Hao can serve him to his death.

Some people only treat her as a landlord.

An old couple wanted to stay in her house for half a year because of the decoration.

Sit down and be choosy.

A pair of the largest appearance of money, there is no sincerity of supporting the elderly in groups.

Cohabitation finally started.

As a result, the accident happened only half a month later.

The two people who live together are not compatible.

Because of the small things in life, they scold directly in the property.

Zhang Hao was helpless.

Only two roommates can go home.

The group pension plan failed.

Six

A lot of people say,

Zhang Hao is looking for the wrong person.

She should position the candidate in the circle of friends.

But is it going to work for another person?

Its not easy.

The seven old ladies mentioned above are living cases.

Because they dont want to make do with it,

Choose self-sufficiency, in their respective fields, made outstanding.

To be the best,

More or less will have a strong personality color.

When living alone,

Strong can make people take care of themselves.

What is needed is cooperation and compromise.

Its a big challenge for them.

Ten years ago, they decided to take care of themselves in groups.

At that time, it was agreed that we should share each others problems.

However, 10 years of cohabitation, can achieve a clear conscience, no one.

Summarize the life of supporting the aged in groups.

The first word they associate with is intricate.

They didnt feel honored as a model of success to be picked up.

contrary,

After 10 years together,

They also have doubts about the group endowment.

Its going on.

Its just because theres no way out.

Theyre completely out of touch with their families,

Can rely on, only around the same old sisters.

Seven

Since the broadcast of an interview with seven Japanese wives,

Many people once again believe that group support is the best way to provide for the aged.

But with all due respect,

Its really hard to realize it.

First of all, the threshold is very high.

Or be a neighbor.

In the same community, buy an apartment.

But the economic cost is very high, how many people can buy a suite in the elderly?

Or live together.

Then there will be a dilemma similar to Zhang Hao.

Unequal collaboration,

As a result, it is against the original intention to support the aged in groups,

Since the person out of the house is the landlord, how to be a close friend?

Second, habits are hard to change.

Can choose to live alone,

Most of them are relatively independent,

But independence and strength often complement each other.

When I was young,

Choose to work alone, already used to the freedom of living alone.

You can also change your mind,

Integrating into the group and catering to other peoples living habits?

Ill be patient for a while, maybe.

But we have to endure for a few years, even more than a decade, to think about how difficult it is.

How to deal with the crisis of old age?

I have two suggestions.

1. Form a family.

They pursue true love.

Eager to enjoy freedom.

They think that family is a fetter and a burden.

Especially after the occurrence of various malignant events,

Fear of marriage every day has become a common saying among young people.

But I want to say,

Marriage is still the best choice to resist life risks.

Besides having parents,

Partners and children are the closest connections to everyone in the current social structure.

And most importantly,

This connection is protected by law.

Child abandonment.

Partner divorce.

Must bear the corresponding legal responsibility.

But this kind of agreement can only be used as a daily constraint.

Whether the other party can abide by it,

Even when you are in danger, give timely help, depending on the character of the other person.

So,

When you meet good people, you can start a family.

But whatever lifestyle you choose,

I hope you all remember one truthu2014u2014

Only the money in your hand is the most loyal to you.

Choose marriage,

It gives you a voice in your marriage.

It gives you a choice after divorce.

Choose celibacy,

Economic independence is the foundation of life.

When I was young,

In old age,

The amount of your savings determines whether you can keep your dignity.

When youre at the end of your life,

What we need to face are illness nursing, life extension treatment, body treatment, grave and other practical problems.

And to deal with this,

Must point to your economic level.

Nowadays, more and more people have higher requirements for spiritual needs.

No one is willing to make do with it.

Whether its work, marriage, life.

Once in the world, everyone hopes to live a happy life.

However, I dont want to tell you, its a fairy tale.

I dont want you to carry a beautiful fantasy, go to the end, can only accompany with garbage, be devoured by loneliness.

Life is cruel.

People who can live a relaxed and happy life usually have a hard background.

But thats not the majority.

Every step under our feet, has been silently doomed, how we will die.

So, work hard!

I dont want to give up thinking,

Just do your best to hold life and the end of life in your own hands.