Skyscraper: to correct a wrong psychology of choosing a spouse, believe that you are worth better

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 Skyscraper: to correct a wrong psychology of choosing a spouse, believe that you are worth better


Every time she comes back to him when she needs him, he will accept her again, knowing that she deceives herself, he will try his best to help her, give her money, give her shelter, and give her everything she can.

But the girl to him, always only back and forth, repeatedly hurt, ask, torture. He knew he couldnt go on like this, but he couldnt cut off her completely and simply.

This is a kind of savior mentality. He always thinks that he can save the other party. Therefore, the more the other person is, the more he feels that he has responsibility, the more he cant let go, the more he needs to help. Finally, he gets stuck in the mire and cant climb up and pull the person.

When I read skyscraper, I found that there were many similar personalities and psychology in it. For example, sherpaul, the security guard of the building, talked about his love for a girl in a wheelchair in the community and always wanted to care for her and take care of her.

Also bought a wheelchair to sit in the dormitory, said to like that girl feel the same angle of the world and things. In order to take care of her, she tied the heavy quilt into the shape of a human, simulated holding each other up and down to see if she could hold her freely

Like my mother, you like people with deformities, Mabel said

Maybe this is the way to deal with your own problems and make yourself feel better, he said.

Meibao said that he understood but did not agree with him, reminding Paul: I may not be unbearable. Just like my mother, I met so many messy people, but I also met people who really treat her. Its like a jigsaw puzzle. Its only when its right that its complete.

Judging from the first ten episodes, mabaos mother fell in love with either gangsters or sadists, making her and her childrens lives a mess. The Uncle Wang in the story may be the best for her mother.

Its just that all the stories are just the confessions of the relevant personnel after Meibaos death. Its hard to tell who is true or false. This is obviously a Chinese version of Rashomon. Everyone tells different stories from their own perspective, which is beneficial to them.

If what Shepard said is true, then he falls in love with the girl in a wheelchair. He himself once graduated from a well-known university and worked in a bank, which is a better kind of person.

But then there was a car accident. He was so kind that he paid the victim all the money, even his fiancee, so he went to the skyscraper as a security guard.

This kind of psychology, is many people will have, the reason and the reason generally has several.

1u3001 The pursuit of better than their own object, feel that it is climbing, feel tired.

Some people fall in love as if they are trying to be simple. They dont have to love or not. They just want to relax and think they can treat them casually if they want to find someone who is worse than themselves.

Or he can control the other party or the people around him, his family and friends life circle, he has a free response. Dont try to please anyone, dont try to behave, let alone kowtow or feel inferior.

Indeed, it is not ruled out that some families with better conditions are very critical of the other half of their children. If they are not as good as their own, they will look down upon them, and they will not have a good face or treatment.

The party concerned, too, feels that he or she has better conditions. Therefore, he or she has to be domineering and arrogant. He should occupy the leading position in this relationship and direct the other party around in a round and round way.

In fact, the essence of these imaginations is not all a matter of conditions, but a matter of character. Because some people, even in high positions, also know how to respect people who are weaker than themselves. And some people have a little bit of success, they look up.

Therefore, it is not necessary to draw a clear line with those who are better than themselves. Only with self-confidence can we fall in love with people who are better than ourselves.

As long as the other party doesnt mean to look down upon, dont feel that you are climbing up, or you will feel that you have taken advantage of others everywhere, so you will be very humble and tired.

2u3001 Besides, Paul is not as bad as himself.

There are many people with this kind of psychology. If they feel that their family is poor, or if they have no achievements and they have nothing, they should find someone who is poorer than themselves. It seems that you can find superiority, existence and self-confidence in each other.

In fact, it is also a reflection of inferiority, or feel that you have done something bad and you are not a bright person. So find a more miserable person and make yourself stand out and normal.

Just like Shepard, she feels that she has nothing, but she is better than that girl in a wheelchair. If she can live her life like that, what can she complain about.

Its a kind of feeling very sad when I dont have shoes, but I feel much better when I see others without feet. This is the contrast of luck and happiness, the strength of contrast and the courage to live.

3u3001 Think of compassion as love.

There are many people who regard compassion as love. For example, pine nuts in the life of the abandoned pine nuts have this kind of psychology.

For example, a down and out writer, who has nothing, wants her to make money. She felt that it was love, that the person was in a bad situation, and she had to do something for him.

Or the kind of a long, was hit all over the body is injured, pine nut will recklessly with him, comfort him, hold him, encourage him, accompany him.

Looking at other people suffering, if she can send warmth and help, it seems that she has found the meaning of her own existence, which is obviously the situation of sympathy before love.

Both of them are not able to sympathize with one or more people outside.

4u3001 There are masochistic psychology and salvation psychology.

This one is also more troublesome, always falling in love with some troublesome people, always cleaning up the mess for people, or giving their all.

Psychologically, they want to save each other, but they suffer a lot and abuse in this relationship. However, they feel that such abuse is profound. It is also a wrong idea to believe that the more painful love is, the deeper the love is, the deeper the true love is.

This is just a kind of unhealthy love point of view, not what pain is love. Love is to bring people warmth, pleasure, heartbeat, happiness, happiness, stability, peace of mind and other beautiful things. Otherwise, being hit by the object is a kind of happiness, which is not very good.

Or do they always help those who are incomplete, have problems and are worse than themselves, but feel that they can change each other, bring them back to the right path, or make them better and richer.

But they often overestimate their own strength. In general, they cant save others and fall into themselves.

Of course, this does not mean that you should not love the poor, the bad, the worse than yourself, and the incomplete.

But after you meet this kind of person, you should first look at the character of the other party and understand the nature of the other party. You can support and help each other, but only if you choose the right person who is worthy of promotion.

Because there are still some people who need the transformation of the law, the rescue of a psychologist or a general practitioner, rather than what you can change and save with love.

Before saving people, we should first ensure whether we can protect ourselves or not, and do not end up with others.

Especially you fall in love with those incomplete starting point, is it true heart? Or sympathy? Want to save? Want to be more powerful? Looking for a sense of superiority? Or looking for abuse?

Ask your original intention clearly, and then decide whether to love or not. Only in this way can we avoid choosing the wrong object and put ourselves in a proper position. At least understand: you are not the worst, you are also worth better, there will be more room to choose a suitable object.