The first marriage has been betrayed, but the second marriage Ive done the same way as my ex husband: you need this ability to manage a marriage

category:Lady
 The first marriage has been betrayed, but the second marriage Ive done the same way as my ex husband: you need this ability to manage a marriage


After all, remarriage takes more courage than divorce.

Just like Yi Nengjing once refused Qin Haos pursuit, you wont marry me, and I cant marry you, so we dont see each other. I can only get married first, then fall in love.

Most divorced women have a lot of concerns, afraid to jump from one pit to another, and they cant afford it.

The decision to remarry is just the beginning.

People who cant swim have the courage to jump into the water, drown again or struggle to learn to swim.

At first, even the wedding dress was bought by herself.

So, what is the real life of second marriage? What are the difficulties of second marriage?

01

Ive been with my ex husband since I was 20, and I love him very much.

Four years in love, he took me as a princess.

Every day I wake up, there is a cup of hot milk on the bedside table; every day before going to bed, he will hold me and say good night.

Unexpectedly, in my fourth year of marriage, after I was pregnant with a child, he had an affair.

That day I was watching a movie with his iPad, and he was sitting next to me playing with his mobile phone.

IPad suddenly received a message, his mobile phone also vibrated, the other side asked: honey, come to my home on the weekend.

I think our love is dirty, my good husband is dirty, I cant stand it.

As soon as the baby was born, she got divorced.

I no longer extravagant feelings, remarriage, just parents urged marriage after the broken choice.

Every night he took a bath, I would secretly check his cell phone chat records.

Ill install tracking software in his car and remember the angle of the co drivers seat carefully.

I hate this life, and I hate such a neurotic self.

So, when my friends got together and was pursued by a sunny boy, I cheated.

When I cheated, I didnt have to worry about my husbands cheating any more. I didnt monitor my husband strictly.

I think I was saved.

Some people continue to give in the relationship and put on a mask to play the role of a good person.

When you cant play, you can give yourself an exit by cheating.

Some people turn marriage into a symbol to maintain a decent life.

When each other has nothing to say, the heart gradually cool, lonely as if has died.

They regard cheating as chicken blood, adding color to their black and white life.

Some people hate themselves and their lives.

When there is no escape, use derailment to stay away from the full of defects of their own.

Infidelity will not be salvation. It is essentially a way to avoid problems and stay away from yourself.

A man with a mask will not change his life if he does not take off his mask.

Those who dislike themselves will hate themselves even more if they dont take a good look at themselves.

02

Ms. Chen, 45, remarried for three years.

My husband and I are married two times.

Having been through a marriage and seeing the broken feelings make us real.

You see, its just for living.

Each of us had children in the last marriage. My ex husband took it with me, and his ex-wife took it with him.

On a blind date, we agreed that we could go to see our children on Sunday.

Its the same with money. You can use it for yourself. Dont bother anyone.

As for parents, they also have to make a show on holidays. This time, they come back to my home to see the elderly, and next time they will go back to his home.

Although occasionally feel lonely, but marriage, make do with, a lifetime also passed.

Until my mother got sick, needed money, needed people to take care of them in the hospital all the time.

One night at 11 oclock, I came home and there was a note in the sink: its your turn to do the dishes today. Dont forget, there will be cockroaches.

At that moment, I really cant think what this marriage is for.

Love?

He didnt have a snack for me.

Money?

I didnt use a cent of him.

I like Yang Lans words very much

The more they go back, the more they find out how important this mutual support is.

The heartless marriage, not only leaks the wind and rain, but also may be poured cold water by the other party.

Zhang Ziyi once said in the program:

When you have a home, you know who to share with when you have difficulties and happiness, and who to look for this comfort with. With a home and you are settled, you will have a stronger and greater space to face your career.

I think thats what marriage is all about.

Ms. Li, 35, remarried for five years.

Some people say: married to the right person, really different.

Maybe, in the marriage, some ridges have to bite their teeth.

When I was young, I always yearned for the vigorous love.

I like to drink red wine. He always carefully selects red wine and makes dishes. There is a wall full of drinking bottles in the house.

He likes football, when the world cup, I will read beside him until midnight.

Just feelings for a long time, in the dynamic feelings will be flat down.

When I found that time was filled with children and housework, we had not gone out for a long time, and no two people had a good chat. I felt very lonely.

I want to change, he thinks life is like this.

I cant stand this kind of plain loneliness, stumbling and quarreling for a whole year before I got divorced.

Compared with the ex husband, the present is more boring.

He seldom read books. He didnt bother to pick up the books I bought for him.

He doesnt like red wine. Beer and white wine are all in his house.

He didnt like to travel. He would rather stay at home and lie down than move his butt.

Second marriage, what has changed?

I think I changed it.

In the past, I always wanted to change others, but I never wanted to change myself.

It is true that most of the time life is as plain as water, just like I cant always sit on the roller coaster and live with passion forever.

Whether it is sweet love, or light as water feelings, in fact, each has its own taste.

Ones needs will not be the same.

For example, in the early days of marriage, its better to have less responsibility and live a sweet two person world.

At that time, what was needed was passion and sweetness.

At this time, what is often needed is intimacy, company and commitment.

As needs change, so does the pattern of getting along.

In other words, the two need to build new connections and explore new ways to work together.

The ability to reestablish connections is an essential ability to manage a marriage.

As Harvard professor Robert Kegan said:

If you get married, you will all remarry several times, either with the same person or with different people.