In Chinese history, violence has great practical significance. In the past dynasties, fighting for the throne was achieved by violence. China has the final say that the Chinese has the final say that Chinese people have discovered the core secret from their long history and found the meta rule that determines the rules: violent or strong,
A simple logic can tell us that in the event of a dispute, if it is worthwhile to eliminate the opponent physically, then as long as you draw the knife and ask the opponent do you want to die or live, any dispute is not difficult to solve, and any purpose can be achieved quickly.
The more general truth implied in this logic is that when selecting rules, the party with the ability to hurt the opponent more than he gains has the right to veto. Death is the most complete loss, so the most violent have the highest veto. Logic and experience tell us: violence is the choice of the strong, which reflects the pursuit of the maximization of self-interest, not to mention the pursuit of justice and morality.
In todays society, group violence is under control, while the explicit and invisible violence among individuals has not decreased. Among teenagers, there are many problems caused by aggressive tendency, as well as violent crimes.
It mainly refers to explicit violence (extreme violence shown by teenagers, such as the Ma Jiajue incident and Xu Li incident; the general violence shown, such as beating parents, beating other people, maltreating animals, etc.). Many studies believe that the violent behavior of adolescents is based on anger, hostility, hatred and dissatisfaction, which is destructive to others and other goals.
There are also many studies that suggest that the related factors of adolescent violent aggression are: (1) social aspects. Young people despise norms because of their dissatisfaction with reality; mass media (such as the Internet and movies) publicize violence so that many children follow the plot; excessive academic and employment competition reduces childrens free time, and there is frustration and fear of being eliminated. (2) Family. Parents have personality weakness; parents lack deep emotional connection with their children, which makes their children fall into a state of chronic frustration: parents wrong parenting methods, such as over protection, doting, or too strict, punishment, or excessive expectation and interference, lead to ambiguous view of right and wrong, poor restraint, excessive dependence, and even hostility, suspicion, jealousy and cruelty. (3) On the individual side, there are personality problems. The typical personality characteristics of children with violence tendency are: suspicious and stubborn; the level of perceptual integration is low, so it is difficult to accurately understand the real connotation of things and the intention of others words and deeds; they lack of purposeful thinking, subjective opinions and foresight. When facing choices, they are more subject to their own intuition and emotions than rational thinking.
According to the recent incidents of insulting and beating teachers by college students and beating their mothers at home, the violence tendency of teenagers is related to their impulsive and antisocial personality characteristics. The formation of these personalities is related to the defective parent-child education they received in their early years, and most importantly, the lack of love, emotional development inhibition and aggressive depression in childhood.
Dont take it for granted that parents have no feelings for their children. Todays parents love their children, but they dont know how to love them. Life has given children too much material things, but the only thing they dont and cant learn is the ability to bear and deal with risks and setbacks. Therefore, we see that many young people either appear to shrink back when dealing with conflicts. Or its fist talk.
We often fight or fight between people, the motive of violence is often fear of extreme lack of security. For example, domestic violence is due to a serious lack of self-confidence, lack of emotional security, and of course, the violence is caused by personality defects and lack of internal security. Behind the violence of teenagers, it shows that they want to eliminate the threat from the outside world to show their prestige and enhance their strength, which shows the inner vulnerability of teenagers and the deep motivation of their desire for their own strength. We can stimulate childrens good motivation, let them know that we must use good and effective methods to enhance their psychological ability, so as to grow up actively and healthily.
Interpretation of cold violence
Cold violence can also be called concealed sexual violence or soft violence.
The main object of the cold violence of teenagers is the important persons or themselves. From their common procrastination, rebellious, running away from home to analyze: first of all, these behaviors are a passive aggressive behavior. Adolescents are in the stage of immature self-awareness and personality, and they do not have enough strength to confront powerful objects when they are frustrated. When the occasional outward attack fails, the child will naturally change the form of attack. Generally speaking, passive attack (cold violence) is much safer than outward attack (violence).
Young peoples rebellious behavior and leaving home to build a home are even more childrens avoidant aggressive behavior against their parents, and the motivation behind their behavior is still eager to accept. Because such behavior itself shows that they have not been accepted, at least in their view, not really accepted. At the same time, these behaviors reflect the pathological nature of parent-child relationship: lack of attachment, separation of love.
Therefore, parents need to know what is really hurt and what they need behind their childrens aggressive behavior. Only in this way can they truly understand and help their children. The important thing is to help them learn to understand and solve their emotions, rather than blindly indulge or condemn them.