Because the childs father likes to ridicule me and the child, and I have a principle, a bottom line for the child to raise, belongs to her own business, I never ask, only responsible for company, so the child has been very averse to get along with his father since childhood, and basically dont talk to his father much.
Later, in order to make the children have better education resources and solicited their own wishes, I moved away from her father and the small county town step by step.
For example, she failed in the college entrance examination (usually it was on the grade line of the fifth grade in China), and the teachers and counselors in the University were also very optimistic about her. She ranked first in her usual learning ability, but only ranked third in the final examination (she said that she was not willing to accept the pain).
In fact, I never asked her grades, but when I saw her cry in a mess, I had a feeling of heartache and powerlessness!
Maybe I had more or less strong manners in front of her without knowing it? How can I help her now? Do you need professional counseling?
Cold love reply:
Seeing this story, I was moved a lot.
This Qianlang sister and her daughter are already on 211. She must have experienced many life stories.
First, we are not perfect, and dont try to make others perfect.
In this story, the mother almost describes herself as a perfect person.
Its a little scary.
Its not that mom is too capable, but that she thinks she is too perfect.
From the beginning to the end of the story, the father is wrong, the daughter is wrong, everyone else is wrong, only mother is not wrong.
This is a very terrible thing, and it is worth learning from all those who already have children.
Its no big deal to admit that youre not perfect, or even admit what youve done wrong.
Children will forgive their parents, and children will accept their parents.
Admitting your imperfection will not break the image of parents in their childrens minds.
On the contrary, a perfect parent often makes children feel very depressed.
In fact, I never asked her about her grades, but when I saw her cry in a mess afterwards, this sentence was followed by do you need professional psychological counseling? And so on, forming a strong conflict.
If a child has to make a decision for her whether or not to do psychological counseling, how can he ignore her at ordinary times?
I can see that the mother must be proud of her daughter. For example, she said that usually, her learning ability is far from the first, but the final grade point can only be ranked third..
But what happened from the first to the third?
Really, dont be too hard on your child, and dont make any decisions for her.
She wants to go to counseling, and shell find her own way.
As a mother, you can provide some financial support, but dont always give others some life choices, give her some opportunities to choose her own.
The elder sister has a very good introspection, she said: maybe I have more or less strong behavior in front of her without knowing it?
I can say for sure that there are.
A girl dislikes getting along with her father and not talking to her father since she was a child. Who is she learning from? Where did she learn to dislike his father and not talk to him?
There is no doubt that she can only learn from her mother in this family.
In view of this, my advice is that it is very dangerous.
Some people are arrogant and think that men are worthless;
Some people are afraid of men and dont know what men will bring to themselves;
There are many, many, many, I will not list them here.
But I can say something responsible:
A girl who cant respect her father cant respect any man in the world.
A girl who does not accept her father can not establish a comprehensive understanding and acceptance with any other man in the world.
Note that I dont mean to do it all.
Its not to say that ones father has done something wrong, and that he or she should agree with him or do so.
Neither disdain nor neglect, but a kind of respect: he is like that, I am not like him.
Its a connection between a mature daughter and a father.
In this story, it can be seen that the girl has no chance to establish a connection with her father, whether it is due to her mothers influence or other influences.
This is a pity and a dangerous thing.
I hope that in the future, the woman can create some opportunities for her children to get to know her father fairly again.
Of course, the premise is that the female owner should get to know each other fairly again, not just despise the man and the small county.
People can never forget the way they came.
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