Im not a real girl, Im not willing to die and give up: drug mother and hormone Ive been looking for all my life

 Im not a real girl, Im not willing to die and give up: drug mother and hormone Ive been looking for all my life

However, they need to fight far more than the body.


Im still afraid to go to the bathroom without a cubicle.

Just entered high school, every time I meet a new classmate, I can hear he doesnt have a Adams apple, is he a girl? He has come to the bathroom. Lets see if he has Tintin. Because of his white skin, slender limbs and a cute face without a laryngeal knot, Li Mingda was bullied by his classmates in high school.

Picture source: girl

As a member of masculinity, TAs schoolbag is often thrown into the garbage can. When he goes to the bathroom, he will be touched and ridiculed by undeveloped This also made TA even more disgusted with his male identity. One day when he was 15 years old, he left a note in his notebook saying I will never be a boy again after being asked to Kou hand it over to a boy in the toilet. He tried to commit suicide but was rescued. After that, Ta also firmly embarked on the road of becoming a drug mother.

Introduction to yaoniang on Wikipedia

In China, the transgender who inhibits the masculinization of the body and induces the acquired sexual transformation of the body through the use of estrogen is called drug Niang. Among them are both teenagers and adults who are already starting a family. Some of them know about the physiological damage caused by long-term use of hormone drugs, but more simply know that it is a small pill to help them become the ideal gender. In addition to the adverse physiological reactions of hormone drugs, the constantly highlighted female sexual characteristics also make TA people often suffer from the irregular beating of isolated emotions such as anxiety, happiness, anger, etc. in the process of taking drugs, and those abnormal eyes and gaze or bullying make the road of drug mother more difficult.


Sweet burden: sugar or medicine?

As a conventional rule, it is difficult to understand whether sugar appeared as a nickname in the beginning, or simply as the jargon of the circle to facilitate the concealment of secrets. To be sure, children will not like these sugars: progesterone and progesterone taste sour and bitter, spironolactone has a bad smell; nausea, fatigue and vomiting are the aftereffects of sugar.

A little better botanical medicine has no taste and the effect is weaker. There is a positive correlation between the effect of sugar and its consequences. The stronger the efficacy, the stronger the side effects. In the closed mengbasha cross dressing network, Yin Xue once spent 399 yuan to buy a box of California Red Rose estrogen, the effect is good, but three pills a day, the amount is too big to bear. Even so, Ta also finished a whole box and found the circle before knowing the concept of dosage.

Baidu snapshot legacy page of mengbasha cross dressing website

To be precise, the drugs used by yaoniang are divided into four categories: estrogen, androgen, progesterone and vitamins. If the drug treatment is carried out under the supervision of a regular hospital, doctors will call it hormonal replacement therapy: when a patient lacks a specific hormone, it can be replaced with the relevant drugs.

The ratio of estrogen to androgen in ordinary people is like a tilted balance. There are more androgens in men than in women. By taking or injecting estrogen drugs, yaoniang forcibly increases the weight on the scale at one end of the scale to reverse the proportion of hormones in the body. Conjugated estrogen and estradiol are commonly used in China, that is, premarin and bujiale. Anti androgenic drugs can reduce various side effects caused by abnormal changes in the proportion of estrogen and androgen in the body during the process of medication, and excessive antagonism brings about various side effects Drugs are spironolactone (spironolactone) and cyproterone acetate (Chromatographic dragon), which are also the most common in the circle of pharmacists. With the increase of hormones and the acceleration of vitamin metabolism in the body, various corresponding vitamin complex tablets are necessary for regulating the body; progesterone is an optional drug, which is used to reduce the carcinogenic probability caused by excessive estrogen, which is usually breast cancer Because it will hinder the development of the chest to a certain extent, there are not many medicinal women willing to use it.

In 2016, a UK cancer research institute study monitored nearly 40000 women over six years and found that people who received hormone replacement therapy had a 2.7-fold higher risk of breast cancer than those who did not. Some Chinese scholars believe that the above research is only a denial of some drugs, while emphasizing low-dose and personalized treatment. HRT international standard of conventional drug use also suggests that each hormone should be used at most during the treatment.

If patients take physical health as the primary purpose, receive personalized treatment after professional diagnosis, use drugs with regular channels, and follow the doctors advice, the treatment benefit will be far higher than the risk. However, the ultimate goal of many medics is sexual conversion, and they will only continue to feminize like an asymptote before undergoing surgery.

Corresponding to the distant dream, Yao Niang didnt recover, the medicine would not stop, and the injury would not stop.


Undercurrent surging

On the surface, Zhang Guo runs two potted plants that sell well on Taobao. Only regular customers know that this is actually an online shop selling hormone drugs.

Shop pretending to sell potted plants on Taobao

In 2018, the new prescription drug sales management system tightens the sales channels of prescription drugs, does not allow unlicensed doctors to allocate prescriptions, clearly stipulates that prescription drugs shall not be sold on the counter, and requires patients to rely on the prescription of licensed doctors to purchase prescription drugs. Hormonal drugs, which were originally traded in small clinics and on the Internet, are becoming increasingly difficult to obtain.

Zhang Guo himself is also a medicine woman, because I dont want to have an accident, so I dont want to make a platform.. Before that, Ta drew a large number of regular customers into their QQ group with the help of the bulletin board of Taobao store, and did its old business with the business mode of wechat. From the number of repeat customers, Zhang Guos medicine should at least be mailed to each customers hand, and has an effect.

However, not every drugmaker makes money on drugs. Sometimes, the buyer will be deleted by the pharmacist after completing the first-hand payment action. Every time encounter this kind of situation, the buyer will be in medicine Niang bar in an exposure paste open cheaters information, prevent more people to be cheated. After the drug Niang bar turns grey, these information will naturally be lost. Even if they encounter cheaters again, they may have changed several batches of online names and avatars. It is difficult to ensure that buyers can recognize them.

In April 2018, 18-year-old Zheng bin had his bilateral testicles removed in a hotel in Hangzhou. Deng Jun, who claimed to have helped a lot of people to have sex change surgery, was operated on by Deng Jun, an experienced doctor. Although he had never received any medical education, let alone a medical practitioners license, the operation, worth 6000 yuan, was a great success in terms of results.

Zhengs parents later took Deng Jun to court. Gongshu District Peoples court indicted Deng Jun on suspicion of illegal medical practice, while the two men who performed the illegal operation were quickly arrested.

News report on

In 2009, the Ministry of health of China clearly pointed out that qualified medical institutions and doctors are allowed to carry out transsexual surgery on transsexual patients, that is, transsexual surgery was a legal medical method as early as 2009. However, due to the influence of strong traditional ethics, most medical practitioners would inquire before the operation Dissuade. In addition to the proof of transsexuality, minors must have the signature of their immediate family members for sex change surgery. Even adults sometimes ask for their parents opinions.

Under the control of the invisible hand, a grey industrial chain emerges as the times require. The price of surgery ranges from 1000 to 7000 yuan. There are even groups of yaoniang to Thailand for sex change surgery. Some people describe the operation as follows: in a clinic in a small city in the south, he started the operation under semi anesthesia. During the operation, he could feel that part of his body was losing. His sober consciousness was enough to support him to think whether he was reborn or destroyed.

Some bloggers detailed science about sex change surgery in Thailand


Grow wild, keep warm

In addition to QQ group and wechat group, Yao Niangs more concentrated platforms also include Baidu Post Bar, Sina Weibo and some independent websites. The common point of these communities is that they are often closed down. Yin Xue laughingly calls yaoniang community a refuge because under normal circumstances, their life span will not exceed three months. Each seizure is an earthquake for yaoniang community. Some people may take several months to find a new organization.

Hu Xians most commonly used social software is Baidu tieba. At present, Ta has moved to three positions, from the earliest yaoniang bar to the third kind of angel bar, and then to angels Garden Bar. In fact, the official post bar has banned five relatively large yaoniang communities. Recently, he is looking for a new drug girl area in the post bar.

From time to time, medicine women will seek and change to new organizations

Now, when searching for yaoniang on Baidus tieba app, the priority pop-up items are not found and welcome to create yaoniang . After clicking Create, the system will ask to fill in the basic information in the regular application process. However, no matter how perfect the information is, the next button is always gray.

When they are not satisfied, they will encourage each other: accept yourself with a smile, be strong, come on, admire your bravery and wish the world treat you gently. In the face of some young and ready to enter the circle, most of the old people will persuade them to think about all aspects of the problem. Of course, what they say most is you can always find when you encounter difficulties I have a private chat.

Photo source: surging news thermometer column: parents of drug mothers: unbearable burden after their children become women

Such harmony is precious in the noise. A few months ago, two good tourists joined Hu Xians yaoniang group. After a lot of sarcasm, they did not forget to criticize and educate Hu Xians to come back to life. Although they were kicked out of group chat soon, the anger in the group lasted for a long time. The reason why they are good is that they need to answer the question name and color of three kinds of sugar to join the group chat. People who are simply curious do not have to work hard. In order to improve the security level, some yaoniang groups will set more questions to join the group, and some questions are actually not answered by many drug niangs.


Endless bickering: about family, about society

Chen Ming originally planned to go to a regular hospital for castration after going to university. After the testicle was cut off with a knife at home, he called his father, I cut off the testicle, blood cant stop, you take me to the hospital, and his father took TA to the hospital in tears. After leaving hospital with a 19 stitched wound, his family told Chen Ming that his parents had divorced. I want to tell them why I do it, and then they say, why do you want to know why you do it.

For the last time, his father gave Chen Ming 1000 yuan and told him not to return to this home again. The opposition of the family is the common reaction of the drug mother after she comes out of the cabinet. Zhao Yide, director of the plastic surgery department of 411 Hospital in Shanghai, said, there are some parents who are worried about whether their childrens future will be as good as they imagined after surgery, some people are unable to hang their face, and the other is that they dont know about transsexualism at all.. Director Zhao has been in contact with many similar situations and understands the contradictions in the family of yaoniang very well. In his office, there is a banner given to him by yaoniang. Hua Tuos skill makes men and women change into jade maidens / willow blades, turning decadence into magic..

Grief is the main emotion of most parents of drug mothers. They dont understand why their sons want to take medicine for sex change and worry about whether they can be accepted by the society in the future.

It is difficult for parents to understand the situation of yaoniang

We understand him, but cant he understand us? Chen Mings mother now only hopes that her child can continue to complete his studies. With a diploma, no matter whether he is a medicine woman or a demon, no one will treat him with a different perspective. She was very afraid that she would be dismissed by her boss because she had no job, and no matter how much she saved, she couldnt save money for her children.

Chen Mings mother is currently earning 3000 yuan a month. One night, she accompanied her customers to drink and came home drunk. She was holding her own dog and wailing in the yard. The dog was inhumane and probably could not understand her pain.

In March 2018, Luo Yue sent the diagnosis of transsexuality from the hospital to her mother. She learned for the first time that her child was taking medicine and wanted to change sex. She felt that the sky was falling.. My mother didnt dare to tell the rest of the family, I dont understand myself. How can the old people understand it?. She is worried that her children will have to face the secular vision. The most obvious problem is how to deal with the dormitory relationship when the school is about to start.

No matter male or female, its a child, Luo Yues father wrote down his name in the signature column of his immediate relatives after doing everything possible and crying to dry tears. The long-term tug of war has not changed his view on transsexuality. He still does not agree with transsexuality in his heart. But if he does not have sex change surgery, he may be depressed or even commit suicide. Lets have a daughter.

The living condition of yaoniang in China is not optimistic

A mother of Yao Niang from Sichuan seems calm. She thinks its OK for her son to live alone all his life. The only regret is that she may not have a chance to have a grandson.

We dont seek social understanding, but at least dont discriminate against them, she said in Sichuan dialect

Xiong Kang

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