Compared with the fierce battle between husband and wife, the cold war between husband and wife has more lethality. The fierce war can understand the other partys various positions, while the cold war, especially the continuous cold war, can not learn the other partys real psychological reality.
If the fierce war is to attack the other side in anger, then the cold war is to attack itself under restraint of anger. If it is said that fierce war can easily expose nature and be stabbed, then the cold war is the harbor of defensive nature. Therefore, the cold war has dual functions: it can avoid aggressive damage, but also can create destructive damage. From the perspective of alleviating conflicts, the husband and wife cold war has avoided the escalation of conflicts and the intensification of conflicts. However, from the establishment of a happy relationship, the cold war between husband and wife has opened a harmonious distance between husband and wife. However, the continuous cold war will naturally breed many misunderstandings, misreads and injuries, which will inevitably lead to the cold violence in the relationship between husband and wife.
Behind the cold war between husband and wife, there must be resentment of apathy. Rollo May, a famous American psychologist, said, indifference is the atrophy of emotion. Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is the opposite of love. In the same way, the opposite of will is not hesitation, but non intervention, disengagement and non connection with you or meaningful events. Indeed, people are most afraid of being ignored by others. In marriage or family, the greatest harm to people is indifference and loneliness in relationships. If either of them has personality defects or psychological emptiness, they will bring suspicion, hostility and control to the relationship, and eventually put a wall of indifference on the relationship.
We also found that violence and torture in marriage can at least prove that people can influence others, while indifference is more likely to dissolve relationships than violence.
Its important to understand that your cold war is a strange state, but its a way for you to defend against physical damage. Although the cold war implies the withdrawal of emotion and love, it means that you are no longer important in my heart, but it is necessary in a family with conflict, entanglement and chaos.
Many women always like to blame and complain, and like to force their husband to speak clearly. Sooner or later, this will turn her husband into a mute and turn marriage into a battlefield of cold and violent violence. To lift the cold war between husband and wife, as long as one party understands, his (her) cold war itself is an attitude and a kind of speech: he or she is depressed and doesnt want to say anything to the other party. At this time, to the other party, if he (she) is required to speak clearly is equivalent to attacking him (her), and if he (she) does not say it, he (she) will be trusted.
If both husband and wife understand that the cold war is a signal of appeal, and the emergence of appeal for warmth and understanding, a new interpretation of Silence during the cold war can be expected: it is a kind of unspeakable need for tolerance, it is thinking, it is wisdom, it is worry, it is fear, it is refusal, it is implicit, it is waiting. As long as any one of the husband and wife can respect the unspeakable first, then the cold war deadlock can be softened and the relationship can be expected to be harmonious.