It is a good thing for a person to be serious about his feelings, but he cant continue to be serious in the face of emotional betrayal.
A persons cognition of feelings, the position and weight of feelings in their own life, and so on, all determine the tolerance of ones feelings. For those who attach too much importance to emotions, their feelings must be fragile, and their tolerance to feelings must be poor.
Therefore, why the more emotional people, after betrayal, the more deeply hurt, the more difficult to heal, the truth lies in this. The more you care about what and what you value more, what will become your weakness and pain point more easily.
Therefore, after encountering betrayal, we must learn to look down on and put down our feelings. We should not invest in them as before. We should not put our feelings in such an important position in our life as before, even the only, even the only one higher than everything else.
Its hard for many people to understand. If you let go of your feelings, you will be indifferent and heartless In fact, not everyones feelings are specific in the final analysis. Your current emotional experience is like this, you meet such a person, so you must look down on and put down your feelings, in order to help yourself heal and relieve pain, and help to avoid greater and deeper harm. Therefore, this is the truth of talking about the matter.
Dont take the past too seriously
This past refers to all the past between you. In the face of betrayal, many people cant accept it, cant think of it, and cant be reconciled The heart knot behind these is because we are too serious about the past, because we have invested too much and paid too much in the past, so we cant understand how the final outcome can be like this.
In fact, the feeling is like this, from the thick love and honey to the merciless indifference, it is probably just a moment. Yes, emotional betrayal, can be said to be a debt, but this account, in fact, is unable to repay.
No matter how deep the relationship between husband and wife is, no matter how difficult it is to share weal and woe and how difficult it is to share weal and woe, betrayal is betrayal. In fact, it has nothing to do with what the two people experienced before, and has nothing to do with the depth of their feelings before.
Therefore, in the face of emotional betrayal, dont always think about the past, these all disappear with the betrayal of the other party, if you are a kind of bitter or persistent, you will never get out of the shadow.
Another past is the details of betrayal. And this is the easiest mistake for many people who have been betrayed.
They always want to know the details of each others betrayal. Once they fall into this magic barrier, they will never get better.
If you dont know something, of course you cant. otherwise, the other party will deny the sophistry, and you may never be sure and know the betrayal of the other party. However, if you already know the betrayal of the other party, dont ask the details of the betrayal, because every detail is absolutely harmful to yourself, and it is absolutely harmful but not beneficial.
Why to ask for details and why to try to understand these details is actually very difficult for psychology to explain, probably because of human nature. But too many cases have proved that such questioning and understanding is equivalent to self abuse. Every detail you know now is a knot that you need to spend a long time to eliminate in the future.
Its enough to know that the other party has betrayed himself and the degree and nature of betrayal. If you are too careful, you dont know if you dont know. This is hard to get confused.
A woman chose to divorce because of her husbands betrayal. A few years later, when she changed her computer to clean up the information, she still did not dare to open the evidence of her husbands betrayal. She said that she could not afford to
Therefore, knowing less is actually good for you and a kind of protection for yourself.
Dont be too serious about the future
This future refers to the future of you and TA.
Experience betrayal, you should sober up the point, is that this person and you will be what the end, never to imagine, never to judge.
If you choose to keep your marriage and continue to live with her, your biggest worry is that you dont have a sense of security, and you cant see the feeling of happiness in the future. If you are entangled in this and regard this as a problem that must be solved or made clear at present, you should be looking for trouble and putting pressure on yourself.
As for the future between you, dont be too serious, just regard it as fate. Whether the outcome is good or bad, leave it to God. You dont need to deliberately detain or force yourself to end it. Sooner or later, it will be decided what the final outcome of this relationship will be.
If you continue, dont think about the future. Dont be afraid that the other party will continue to betray him or you will never get better. In a word, dont be too serious about the future of you and Ta.
So, what should I do?
Of course, its better to take care of yourself and live a good life. You can take back the time, mind and energy that you spent on this relationship and this person as much as possible, and put it on yourself. Its better to invest in yourself than to pay for it. Because you will never betray yourself, and every investment you put into yourself will be 100% in return.
So, love yourself, manage yourself, reshape yourself - thats what you should be serious about.