No one wants to be a disgusting person in other peoples eyes, but sometimes, some habitual or unconscious words and deeds will give others such feelings.
So its important to learn to be aware of yourself to avoid this.
Here we would like to share a few annoying behaviors in interpersonal communication for your understanding and reference.
Its OK to complain that everyone has it, but once it becomes a habit, it becomes a problem.
In wechat group, I often find such people.
They often share their problems or troubles in the group. At first, some people comfort them out of kindness or give some suggestions to deal with the problems. But it will be long before they find that they do not really want to solve problems, but just want to tuck up and make complaints about their dissatisfaction.
The reason why they complain all the time is that they do not reflect on themselves, but simply attribute the problem to others, believing that it is the fault of others and the responsibility of others.
When a person blames others for the problem, the TA does not have to be responsible for it, so there is no need to change himself.
No one will like this practice without reflection and responsibility.
Of course, the most intolerable thing about complaining people is that they regard the people around them as their emotional trash can. No matter what negative emotions they have, they dump them on those who are eager to listen to them.
Emotions are contagious. When we are with a humorous person, we can feel positive and optimistic energy and benefit from it. When we are with a person full of complaints, we will become restless. In a sense, this is also a kind of mental poisoning.
2. Over ego
In life, we often meet some people who are too self-sufficient.
The so-called over ego is to be self-centered when dealing with people. In their concept, the whole world should revolve around itself, and all people should obey and serve themselves.
That is to say, in a relationship, people who are too self-centered rarely think about what they can do for others, and only care about what others can do for themselves.
Those who can meet their own needs are valuable and good people to them; those who cant satisfy their own needs are worthless to them, and there is no need to treat each other with a straight eye.
From the psychological point of view, this type of person is living in the monistic world, rather than living in the dual world like a normal person. In other words, they can only see themselves, not others.
This leads to their lack of empathy and difficulty in understanding other peoples feelings and emotions. When they encounter problems, they cant put themselves in other peoples shoes, but show their superiority by attacking or disdaining others.
Relationships are equal, and no one likes this kind of unequal relationship. Therefore, people who are too self-centered often force themselves to despair in the relationship, leading to more and more people to stay away from themselves.
3. Spread other peoples secrets
Some people always talk casually when talking and chatting with others. They say what they think of, including other peoples secrets.
We often call this a brain failure, which is actually a deeper psychological reason.
Psychologist Nicole prier said:
It is this kind of experience that becomes the focus of others eyes that makes it difficult for some people to control their impulse to disclose secrets.
However, when a person discovers that his privacy has been spread without his own permission, he will have a strong feeling of being hurt and betrayed, which will not only hurt his self-esteem, but also his sense of trust in others.
4. Speak straight
Some people never consider other peoples feelings when they speak, and even often expose others shortcomings and poke others pain points.
But they dont think so. They think that speaking directly is an advantage, not hypocrisy.
But in fact, the opposite of hypocrisy is not to speak straight, but to be sincere.
Sincerity is to be able to stand on the other sides point of view to consider the problem, and speak straight is more for the sake of a moments pleasure on his mouth, is an unconscious act of being kidnapped by his own emotions.
Some people think that speaking directly shows that they are independent, have personality and have their own opinions.
Some people have said this:
I said a fact that no one would admit. Everyone is drunk and I wake up alone.
But speaking straight is not the same thing as speaking to the point.
There are many sides to a thing or a person. The key is which side you value.
People who dont pay attention to other peoples feelings only pay attention to the shortcomings and deficiencies of others, and regard it as the only fact. They can neither comprehensively consider the problem nor help others with an inclusive attitude. Therefore, it is more of a low EQ behavior.
Language can not only bring warmth to others like sunshine, but also hurt others like a knife.
People who often use words as swordsmen become a danger in the eyes of others, so no one is willing to get close to them.
The reason why these behaviors are annoying is that they change the nature of relationships.
A good relationship has the attribute of nourishment, which can satisfy and grow all the people in this relationship; while a bad relationship is destructive, which will make people in this relationship hurt and become vulnerable.
Therefore, when we interact with others and are not punctual about our own words and deeds, we might as well think about whether it is nourishing or destroying your relationship in essence?
If you want to understand this problem, maybe you can find the direction.