Lan Yingying, you look like my mother when you force others to work hard

 Lan Yingying, you look like my mother when you force others to work hard

Yes, LAN Yingying, as an actress, is good at singing dance instruments, self-discipline and sports, and makes her own book list. As the saying goes, art is more than the body, and skills are full of fear is the dream of many ordinary people, but most people are very difficult to like her, with a plan can also put into action.

What makes LAN Yingying in dispute?

Its the way she does things. Hard work and learning bully are not terrible, the terrible thing is to force others to use their own way to try.

The pace of life is a matter of personal choice. Its good to be strict with yourself, but if you have to be strict with others, you will cross the line.

In the training stage of the first public performance, LAN Yingying, as the team leader, arranged the schedule of the team members in every detail. She asked all the members to take a nap, and they all tied sandbags to practice dancing.

The older players want to take off the sandbags due to the lack of physical strength for a long time, but they are rejected by LAN Yingying. She said that because she had been training with sandbags, she won the first place in the first round of individual performance competition. If everyone can learn from her, then the strength of the whole team will certainly be improved.

In the next section, similar plays are staged again and again. For example, in order to make the overall performance more amazing, she asked Wu Xin, who had no musical foundation, to learn bass within 10 days.

The way she persuades others to work hard reminds me of my mom... Its scary.

I dont deny that Lan Yingying is self disciplined and makes great efforts to become better, but others have no obligation to help you complete your competitive heart.

In reality TV shows, everyones style of dealing with the world is shown mercilessly in the spotlight. LAN Yingying is indeed a frank person who does not conceal her ambition and domineering power. Of course, it is no problem, and it is also a bonus item. But the question is whether it is appropriate to impose this ambition on others.

If you think this operation seems familiar, its not surprising, as a netizen said above - many Chinese parents education methods are very similar to LAN Yingying.


I took a consulting case. My parents were rural college students. With their own efforts, they were qualified to introduce talents. They entered the big cities and worked hard all the way. Now they are senior managers of the company and have made great achievements.

On the issue of childrens education, they also adhere to the family tradition and adopt a high-pressure way. Once they are not satisfied with their achievements, they will inevitably criticize and censure them.

Even if the daughter already has some depression tendency and asks for help from the outside world in the way of hurting herself, the parents still dont think so. Their logic is as follows:

I cant understand such a simple math problem. Whats the reason why she cant do it?

She just scares us and wants to be lazy.

Yes, the parents of Xueba, who have rushed through the thousands of troops, naturally do not realize the helplessness and bitterness of their daughter. They impose their own ideas on their daughters, and feel that their own path, why cant the daughter walk down?

However, it is a cruel fact: even if the parents graduated from the top 2 universities such as Tsinghua University and Peking University, Shanghai University has exceeded the median level of their children. It is a small probability that children want to achieve the same results as their parents.

This is a natural phenomenon caused by regression effect, a statistical term that means extreme test values will eventually converge to the average. We have introduced this phenomenon in previous articles. For details, see why is it easy to criticize children for addiction?? In fact, we were cheated.

Compared with the average level of the family, it is an extremely excellent extreme value. If we want to estimate the level of children, we must return to the average. If you want to be as gifted as your parents, its very unlikely from a probability point of view.

At the beginning of the Great Gatsby, Nick has a special classic monologue:

My father gave me a piece of advice in my early years, which still haunts me today. Whenever you want to criticize people, he told me, remember that not everyone in the world has the advantages you have.

Whats more, when someone in your ear constantly urges you to work hard, its easier to give birth to rebellious psychology, and what you want to do will also lose interest.

Maslow, a humanistic psychologist, believes that on the basis of meeting low-level needs, everyone has the motivation of self realization.

Humanism holds that human nature is kind, developmental and potential. In other words, after meeting the basic needs of things, love and security, everyone has the needs of self-development.

Without anyones supervision, they will also have a thirst for knowledge and take the initiative to learn; they will work hard and yearn for others respect; they will be creative and share their own opinions.

But I was nagged in my ears all day, telling myself what to do and how to do it? The things I was interested in became boring.

Imagine if the boss sends 2020 in wechat group all day long, please cherish your enterprise! Cherish your boss! u300bPeople who dont work overtime late at night are not enough to talk about the success of the workplace and either work or roll. do you want to do something even if you have good ideas to improve your performance?

Not only that, the constant pressure on the child to work hard can also cause health problems.

I must make it clear at the end that this push is not aimed at any artist, nor is it intended to erase the connotation of hard work, struggle and struggle. Theres nothing wrong with these positive energies. Who cares about getting better?

Its just that everyone has their own rhythm and their own way of effort. As a parent, if you force your child and think I can do it, you must do it too, it will only push the distance between you further and further.

Authors profile: national second grade psychological consultant, master of psychology, senior psychological education practitioners.

This article source: parents meeting? Author: cask editor: Shi Yue_ NS3913