Sometimes we cant get divorced, the root cause is our inner reluctance.
The reason I hear most is I always think what can I do with him as long as he doesnt get divorced? Or should I not have the chance to go down for my child?
In fact, these words are very typical. I dont know what my problem is.
A girl, no matter whether she is saying the child cant give up his father, or how is her mother-in-law, or how is the other party? as long as she says, as long as he doesnt get divorced, how can I take him? in fact, it can prove that the female student who said this sentence has not faced this matter.
What I want to say is: even if he doesnt get divorced, a girl can divorce him completely, which is a common sense that everyone knows.
We are waiting for him in the Civil Affairs Bureau. If we ask him to come over, he will not come. is there no way to do this?
The problem now is that many girls are reluctant to face the fact that they dont want to divorce rather than that they cant get divorced.
In the final analysis, its still because the girls are nostalgic for their husbands, unwilling to accept the current situation, and unable to put down their present home. Only by acknowledging this is the key to solving all problems.
We cant attribute the problem to the other partys unwillingness to divorce and not willing to face ourselves.
Because only by acknowledging our attachment to him and recognizing that we need this relationship can we solve these problems.
In some of these cases, the core problem is that girls are always reluctant to admit that they do not want to divorce.
If we admit that both sides want to continue to operate this relationship, there are generally three problems to be solved:
First, girls must solve the problem of getting along with each others native family.
Generally speaking, girls will complain that their mother-in-law is not easy to get along with. In the final analysis, the other partys mother does not approve of girls. If we want to continue to be with him, we must face this challenge and solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
For example, a child once asked two people about a quarrel, and as a parent, he fooled him away.
But the child is not a fool. The child is very sensitive to emotions. When we think he doesnt know anything, he is already very sensible.
We should be honest with the child, not fool him.
We must establish a good communication with our children, otherwise when the children grow up, their own feelings will encounter many problems.
Third, and also the core problem we need to solve is to repair the relationship between husband and wife.
For example, a girl is entangled with her husband and hates him. She always feels that she has paid so much for her family.
But if he admits that he needs him, that he needs this kind of care, and that he needs this family, is there anything good for him?
To repair the relationship between husband and wife, the core is to repair the problems between the two people, and we cant hate him. Because theres no point in hating him, and it wont solve the problem.
To repair the relationship, we should start from facing our own problems calmly.
The reason why a boy cheat a girl is that he still wants to maintain the relationship between them. If he doesnt want to maintain this relationship, he doesnt need to cheat at all.
Each of the above three aspects is particularly important and difficult for girls who want to divorce but are still struggling.
When a marriage comes to divorce, the problem is certainly not caused in one day or two days, and it can not be solved in one day or two days.
Any single problem in a broken marriage can take a year and a half to fight.
However, we should know that all this is caused by both sides.
I suggest that from these aspects, we should first choose from the easy to the difficult, and then solve them one by one.
Every piece of this is what we have to learn and practice.
For example, how to communicate with children? How to make children face the family status quo? How to solve the contradiction between husband and wife and so on, may need to learn a lot of knowledge.
Divorce does not leave home
In the countless cases I have seen, there are also girls who are really determined to divorce, and have gone through the procedures of divorce procedures.
However, even if the divorce procedures have been completed, there are still many girls who will consider various factors and choose such a state - [divorce does not leave home].
I would like to say that, first of all, in the current situation of the shortage of social workers, I am afraid that many peoples gambling addiction can not be solved.
Secondly, I dont agree with the so-called divorce does not leave home. We should leave first. We cant stay away because of this crying or the sick person, because the more this matter goes on, the worse it gets.
Now everything can be restarted, but if we delay for a few years, it will be more and more difficult for us to start over again, and there will be less and less opportunities for us to do it again, so we should take advantage of it.
Moreover, the so-called divorce does not leave home will only make us muddle and make the situation worse.
Third, if for their own future consideration, girls should leave their children to each other in divorce.
Whenever I say this, there are always people who say in the comments, its selfish of you to leave the child to the other party. Have you considered the childs feelings?
Even if its not to create possibilities, its just naked selfishness, so what?
What about selfishness?
Human beings are selfish, isnt it good for us to take off the mask of hypocrisy?
In the countless cases we have seen, the living standard of a woman with children after divorce will drop a lot, and the possibility of remarriage will become very low.
Therefore, if a girl divorced, there is a position and concept is to leave the child to the other side.
A girl said that she and her husband are first pregnant flash marriage, when two years of housewives, there is no love between the two people, no sense of security, there is no sense of warmth. She even decided to divorce when she was financially independent. Did she overestimate herself?
My answer is that a girl has been at home for two years, bringing her children, and her living expenses are totally dependent on each other. There is no love between the two people, and even the other party has become unscrupulous. In fact, the reason why a girl can get to this point is that she has no economic independence.
In fact, its very complicated to run a marriage relationship. Its always easy to give up.
In the face of such a situation, it is urgent for girls to make a plan for change and achieve economic independence.
If not for divorce, at least for yourself.
Only when you become a valuable person can you win the respect of others.
But if it is because we cant give up the other party, we should understand that what we are talking about under the current situation is only one-sided words.
Whenever we encounter a difficult marriage problem, the question to consider is: why?
Only by analyzing the causes can we find the corresponding results.