Me: Jing, how did you feel about joining your sister Xues birthday party yesterday?
Jing: very good. (a three word answer is good. He used to use en, ah and Ai to respond to adults, which is also a common language in his communication with his parents
Me: they are almost graduating from university. How old are you? How can you play with them?
Jing: I always like to play with people older than me. (I feel like Ive found the opportunity for dialogue and want to break his miserly expression)
Me: ah, children who like to play with older people are generally precocious or mature, and you dont list them? Im curious. What topics do you and those older children focus on most? Can you satisfy my curiosity?
Jing: your topic is too broad. How can I say it?
Jing: the social ethos has its bad side, but its not that money can take care of everything. I also hate the unfairness of society, especially the shortcomings of the education system.
Me: what are the disadvantages of the education system?
Jing: for example, the basic education time is too long, and the curriculum is not scientific. We still have to learn physics, chemistry and chaos that you dont like in high school, and you wont use them in the future. (I think of the same feeling of many middle school students. I also understand why children are tired of school and why the education sector has been calling for the change of exam oriented education to quality education.)
Jing: I like four majors: psychology, philosophy, business administration and animation creation. I can choose one of these four majors as my future career development. (Im so excited that he likes psychology and philosophy!)
Me: when are you going to study these majors? (because he said he didnt want to read, he left school a week ago. I have to ask tentatively)
Jing: I will take part in the college entrance examination next year. Psychology is my preferred major, but Ill see it later. If psychology and philosophy are not good, Ill choose animation because I also like painting.
Me: can you tell me why you like psychology and philosophy?
It goes without saying that you and I are engaged in static function. They are interesting to me. The next 10 years and 20 years will be the world of psychology and philosophy. We should look at the future world. (I cant believe my ears, but I cant bear the excitement)
Me: you surprise me and make me look different. Did you talk to your parents about your thoughts and opinions?
Hum: quiet! (his snort from his nostrils is blunt and blunt. His face is disappointed and his eyes glare at the mother sitting on his right
Me: does that mean they dont know anything about you?
Jing: hum. (he just softened his voice and didnt squint at his mother anymore.)
Jing: they can only preach, and my mother will nag, complain and lecture. I am upset with her!
Jing: girls, first of all, exclude the strong women. How many strong womens marriages are good? (I thought to myself, you are only 18 years old. Why do you say something and think like an adult
Jing: attractive girl, with three is: can run a family, can understand and support men to do business, good mentality. (hes just a little adult
Me: does your girlfriend have these three?
uff082uff09 Why do sons rebel against maternal love
My sister is a typical example of loving a son. Her son Jing is also the representative of many childrens rebellious maternal love.
Rebellious maternal love, a sad topic. In the world, only maternal love is great and sacred. Rebelling against her is not equal to rebelling against great and sacred? I really cant bear to say rebellious maternal love, but have to face the same quiet children, so disgusted with the reality of maternal love.
I still think that Chinese parents love their children the most. Children dont feel loved and their children dont accept their parents love. Its not that parents dont have love, but that they dont understand their children and how to love them. How to love children, is a knowledge, is our Chinese parents should learn the most knowledge. Most parents raise their children according to their own experience, their own preferences and their own ideals. Therefore, it is commented by the educational circles at home and abroad that Oriental Education is to cultivate smart children, while western education is to cultivate intelligent students.
Our parents, especially mothers like my sister, add fuel to the fire by ignoring their childrens talent.. Of course, they are unconscious or unconscious. Their love for their children is very pure, only the children do not have their own heart. They love children want to escape, but also because they only have children in their hearts, not themselves.
Why should children rebel against maternal love? Because the only child in the mothers heart does not have their own love, so that the children feel heavy pressure. Well? For example, my sister, for her small family, she can bear humiliation, for her son, she can forget to eat and sleep, that words and deeds fully tell her son: how hard I am for you! Dont let me down! I dont ask for your reward, but I ask you to strive for success and read the book in order to have a future! There is no doubt that these are very touching love, very simple requirements, but in the invisible, over time will give children a kind of inner feelings: your suffering is caused by me, your suffering I should be responsible for, if I do not have a promising what to do worry and pressure.
Parents do not know that childrens psychology is in the stage of perceptual thinking, which is to perceive the world with curiosity and strange mentality. Their personality growth needs emotional attention from adults, for example, to give them enough free imagination and free choice of space and time, instead of always giving them answers and teaching; to teach them how to understand and deal with emotions, rather than in the When they lose their temper, they indulge or reprimand them blindly; they give themselves the opportunity to deal with their troubles instead of always thinking and doing it for them.
Parents also dont know that the childrens mind cant understand and cant bear the burden of hard work in the absence of perceptual thinking and benefit experience. In the love you dont ask for, they can feel that you really want good grades, promising achievements, good face and so on.
If children resist learning, I would like to say that it is not that they do not understand the importance of learning, but unconsciously contradict the love you do not want to return.
If the child dislikes you, I think, it is not that the child does not want to respect you, but that you neglect to respect him in your communication and interaction with the child.
If the child doesnt want to communicate with you or even talk to you, its not he is introverted, repressed, hostile that you think. It may be that the child has listened to you too much since childhood, and you have never listened to him. Silence is also a kind of communication, expressing: since you dont understand me, let each other be quiet.
If the child doesnt love you, I think its certainly not that the child doesnt want to love you, but just avoiding the way you love him.
Therefore, if the mother continues to worry, NAG and give in a controlled way because the child is worthless, then the child will continue to rebel against your love. Including my sister.