So dont just focus on marriage and relationships, just focus on how to make decisions. Many people will think that as long as I choose to recover or divorce, everything will return to normal, and my injury will be better. However, the fact is not so simple. Some of the people who can finally get out of the predicament and heal the pain continue to get married or leave; while there are still so many people who continue or let go, and there are still so many people who are not getting better.
Healing the emotional trauma has nothing to do with the other person.
Of course, it is the other party who caused the injury. However, the responsibility of healing and pain relief is not in the other party. If a person has the heart to heal and relieve pain for you, if a person has the ability to heal and relieve pain for you, how could he have betrayed himself in the first place.
This is a simple truth. In reality, there are too many people who dont want to understand this. They rely on each other and expect the other party to be responsible for the damage and their own pain. Its like you are injured and lying on the operating table. The doctor who treats you is the person who stabbed you. Think about it. How can it be.
Because you put the hope of treatment on the other side, you lose yourself even more. You either make yourself more humble and beg for the love of the other party; or you become insane and disordered, because the person you expect happens to be the one who hurt you, and it is ta that stirs your heart into pieces.
Therefore, if you put your hope on yourself, you must realize that all healing and pain relief depend on yourself. Whether you can recover depends entirely on yourself and has nothing to do with the other party. The more you give up your dependence on the other party, the more helpful it will be for your recovery.
Healing emotional trauma, you must change.
It is difficult for us to talk about healing and pain relief from too many specific matters. However, those who can heal themselves have actually changed completely; correspondingly, those who are difficult to heal, no matter how time goes by, still remain unchanged.
In fact, after the betrayal of your feelings, all your needs to be reconstructed, including your demands and expectations for emotional marriage, including your views on marriage feelings, including your cognition of the other party and yourself, your living habits, your life focus, and even your various settings of the truth of your future life. All these, in the final analysis, are a kind of self before Break.
Before you value things, learn to look down; before you dont care about things, learn to care; before you care about the other side, do not care so much about; before you dont care about yourself, learn to care; used to love and marriage in the first place, now put the work career in the first place; used to think that from one to the end is the best love, now understand that love is just fantasy Life is the reality; I used to live in the black and white world, but now I know the gray area. I dont have to fight for many things any more and Im no longer difficult for myself
All of these are changes, and these little changes are the key to finally being able to complete the healing, which is equivalent to rebirth.
Healing emotional wounds is not chicken soup for the soul.
Its not that you shut yourself up all day long, and then drink some chicken soup for your soul and take some emotional spiritual lessons. All the improvement of a person is the result of actual actions. Its like planting a seed, watering and fertilizing, pruning branches and leaves, and finally flowering and fruiting.
However, the chicken soup for the soul and the like may eventually become an anesthetic, pretending to live a good life; the appearance seems strong enough to carry, but the heart is fragile.
So, take a look at what you are doing all day long. If you dont have specific things every day, you cant recover, and you will never be able to recover. Sooner or later, life will pull you back to reality, and then on a sober night, you will double everything on your body; But, all of a sudden, everything is back to the origin Whether you are good or not, whether you are really good or not, you cant cheat yourself in the end.
Therefore, it is very important to enrich life. Every day of life is faced with valuable things and people with energy. It will not take too long to change.
Enrich oneself, enrich life, is the best medicine to cure pain.