In fact, there are three common problems with no emotional balance ability
1. Not aware of the ability to distinguish their own emotions;
Today, Id like to share with you how to be a stable adult?
Know how to distinguish your emotions
A mature person, the mood should be stable.
Suppose a boy whose girlfriend says to him, honey, I already have another boyfriend. At this time, the boy must be very angry.
But his feeling under anger is sadness, and the reason why he is sad is that the girls dont want him.
For this boy, being abandoned by a girl will feel that he has no face, and the feeling of no face is on the surface angry.
For adults, if a person only feels angry when he leaves himself, this is just an inappropriate state, because for adults, the departure of people around him should be an acceptable condition.
For a mature person, the lovers departure will feel angry first and then sad, but he should be able to pass this stage smoothly, because there is no grass in the world, there is always a chance to look for it again.
During this period, crying is a sign and a way of expressing ones emotions.
We should learn to accept our own emotions, allow ourselves to have bad emotions, allow ourselves to be bereaved occasionally, no one can keep positive and optimistic every day, cry when unhappy, but sorrow should be appropriate and should not be too sensitive.
Even the boy mentioned above, if his girlfriend leaves him, he should know that his ex girlfriend just has her own choice.
In this way, he can understand his emotions and let the process go through naturally.
Many people dont know that they have emotions when they encounter things and problems. They think that this is just their own idea, and then they will make excuses for themselves to say this is my personality.
This is one-sided. Personality should include ones emotions, experiences, thoughts and behaviors.
This man just doesnt have the ability to make things clear.
A person who really has the ability to control his emotions can be aware of his different emotions and distinguish the relationship between emotions, cognition and behavior.
So, if you want to keep your emotions stable, its important to learn to distinguish them.
I often hear people say:
I just cant control myself. I know its not right, but I just cant.
I want to say this but is very deadly.
But if a girl in the middle of practice, someone suddenly presses her down, or continues to improve the difficulty, then the girl will be injured.
Because only when her bodys flexibility and flexibility training to a certain extent, she can really do more difficult.
The same is true of emotions. There is also flexibility and flexibility. When a person says I just cant control myself, it is because the flexibility of his emotions is there.
Therefore, the elasticity of emotions is similar to the flexibility of the body. It has upper and lower limits. There are two kinds of emotional resilience
2. When a persons mood falls below the lower limit, it will be excessively cooled, which is a bit like putting a person in an iceberg and freezing and unable to move.
The core operating skill of maintaining emotional stability is to keep ones emotions within the flexible range of emotional flexibility.
Only in this flexible range of emotional flexibility is ones rational space.
Only in the elastic space of emotions can emotions have a positive effect on themselves.
Everyones emotional flexibility space and scope are different. It may be like some consultants and psychologists who have received professional training, so they have a large space for emotional resilience. The space between the upper limit and the lower limit is larger than that of ordinary people.
However, for a person who has not received training, flexibility is very small. It is easy to break through the personal limit, burst the watch when reaching the upper limit, and freeze when the lower limit is reached.
It is also very important to calm down quickly when ones emotions burst.
There are always some things that we dont want to encounter. Once we do, we dont know how to calm down quickly, whether its crying or laughing.
Because it requires a person to learn and try many times to experience.
A mature persons inner change process should be like this:
I feel unhappy, Im angry, but I know I shouldnt hurt people.
And when my emotions exceed my emotional flexibility space, how can I pacify my heart in an effective way.
Only mature people have this ability, because many times emotions are not easily dispelled.
How to deal with inappropriate emotions?
Some people will jump up in excitement when they encounter emotional explosion, and this kind of emotion is inappropriate emotion. For this situation, we need to learn how to correct it and change it into appropriate emotion.
In other words, replace inappropriate emotions with appropriate ones.
On the operational level, emotion cant be understood by cognition. This is the biggest problem, which is also what many people dont understand.
Or, for example, when Im being treated unfairly, I want to beat someone, but I know I shouldnt.
No matter which way you choose, as long as you can let your emotions vent out, it is conducive to your mood as soon as possible to restore calm, and then truly accept what happened.
Another is in intimate relationships: when a couple is discussing something and their heart rate exceeds a steady value, the discussion is no longer valid.
They should separate and calm down and discuss it later.
When each other exceeds the emotional flexibility space of the other, the only thing left for two people is to hurt each other. At this time, they will specially select the pain points of the other party, and the other party will fight back, so they will continue to quarrel.
In this case, you can do this:
1. At this time, the two people need to separate temporarily and choose their own way to relax.
In short, both sides need to leave when they are aware of the heartbeat burst;
When you leave, you need to agree when you will return at the same time.
I think this is a good way to maintain emotional stability, that is, when you are in an uncontrollable mood, you can ease your mood in a good way, and then both sides will have a rational discussion.
When a person realizes that his or her emotions are wrong, he / she can leave the current quarrel, pacify his / her emotions, calm himself / herself, and excrete his / her negative emotions, then he / she can have a good communication in the future.
Because it is only in the experience of a relationship that one can change his emotional pattern.
But if you want to put the operation into practice, never use the past experience and experience of getting along with others to replace the current interpersonal relationship, because every relationship is different.
Many peoples emotion out of control often comes from a personal complex, which may occur at any stage of his life. Once he meets this complex, he will lose control and burst his expression.
Most of the time, a lot of people can be very stable mood, only when they fall into a certain situation will be burst or frozen.
It is difficult and dangerous to open, because it needs to be opened and faced in a safe relationship and in a sense of security.
Dont everyone, dont always think about changing others, first do yourself well, all are willing to be good.
Hope that through the above sharing, we can learn to face their emotions, and always control their emotions in a controllable range, take good care of themselves.
Find the source of emotions, use acceptance instead of controlling emotions, and learn to get along with your emotions. It is possible to change emotions only when you know the boundaries of emotions and experience them.
Emotion is a process of feeling by cognitive experience. The reason why people lose their temper is because their inner softness is too high.
How to deal with and communicate with all kinds of emotions in an appropriate situation is what we should learn to practice.