I was born in California in 1968. His father was a painter, and his mother was a nurse in the hospital. When his father was young, he was romantic and unruly, and often had various sexual encounters. When I was in high school, my parents often fought for it in the middle of the night, and my mother was always shouting help and running out of the house barefoot. At that time, I often looked through the glass window in horror at the mothers escape in the dark night.
Finally, when I was 15, they divorced. The court awarded me to my father. After the divorce, two women who had been regarded as life by their father left him. Apart from dozens of paintings, there is no valuable property in the family. Our lives are in crisis.
My father had to sell the house for my study. From then on, my father and I lived in his friends house. The room we lived in was damp, damp and cold with no sunshine. At that time, I was full of disappointment and fear of life.
Since the divorce, my mother has never been to my father or come to see me. Later, she married an electrical engineer and immediately gave birth to a boy. The man is so selfish that he takes his mothers money very seriously.
Three years later, I met my mother by chance. She was like a patient who had escaped from the hospital, her face was sallow, without a trace of blood. She didnt invite me to her new home or come forward to hug me. After a while, she took 20 dollars out of her pocket and invited me to eat at the hamburger shop on the corner.
In 1986, I graduated from high school. He wanted to ask my father to help me raise some money for college, but my father was kicked out by his friends because he was in arrears with the rent for a year. My father disappeared that night. Im like a lost lamb. I cant find it home. After hearing the news, my mother took me to her new home.
My stepfather didnt allow me to be a new member of their family. He put me in a servants room on the ground floor. In fact, he saw me as a servant. He asked me to take care of my little brother and give me countless chores every day. Since entering the door, I have never seen my mother smile, and soon I made up my mind to leave the house. When I was 18, I left them. But the future is boundless, where is my way?
From Princeton to NTU, I was successful
After reflection, I secretly determined that I must go to university and learn something. I plan to do some assistive work in Princeton to keep food and clothing, and then I will go to Princeton University next year and strive for a scholarship to finish my studies.
At that time, I realized clearly that I had to find an experienced professor to give me directions. Otherwise, a world-famous institution like Princeton would have refused me a thousand miles away. But as a man who only depends on doing chores to make a living, I would like to invite the professor to open a small stove. What should I pay the professor?
I began to complain about my incompetence and hate my unfortunate fate. At this time, Professor bertellier and I met, when he heard my story, very sympathetic to me, willing to teach me twice a week without any reward. No doubt, God put a ladder in front of me.
In the summer of 1987, I was admitted to the school of Arts of Princeton University with the top ten scores, and received a full scholarship. To be honest, I would never have received a full scholarship without professor bertellier, nor would I have completed four years of comparative studies of British and American cultures at Princeton Universitys School of Arts.
After graduation, I could continue to study or stay in Princeton University, but I was eager to understand Chinese culture, so I chose to continue my postgraduate studies in Taipei University.
In 1992, I set foot on the island and opened another page in my life. When I first arrived in Taiwan, I took a postgraduate course in Chinese literature at NTU. My interest in Chinese culture was formed two years ago. At that time, Princeton University had many young and promising Chinese teachers from Taiwan and Mainland China. I have heard several large-scale lectures held by them in the library, and I have read the English version of songs of Chu with the help of a dictionary.
In those years, the Alumni Association of NTU held activities once a month, while the graduate association not only had activities every month, but also held speech contests every week to watch and participate in. Im very active at NTU. In one speech contest after another, Im not only familiar, but also famous. At the same time, some of my papers and interviews are often seen in the Journal of NTU.
I didnt reply to the strangers letter in time. Unexpectedly, one day, I was on the path to the library, a man came straight to me. He stopped my way, Han Yinghui, Hello! Im Xia Mingjun. Hello! Excuse me, do you have anything to say to me As I said this, I suddenly felt my eyes stop on his face. Really, he is a pretty handsome man! At that moment, my cheek was a little bit hot
For the first time, I felt that love was wonderful and terrible
After two minutes of contact with him, I was bewildered by him. It was a wonderful and terrible feeling. For the first time, I felt the danger of being a woman. On the fourth day after meeting, we had a close contact.
Horwitz came to the United States from Taiwan four years ago. His only dream to go to the United States was to have a high-grade house. However, he could not find a suitable job. His dream was getting farther and farther away from him.
When I asked him if he had ever had a beautiful love, he hesitated and stopped. I didnt ask him. He hastily offered to marry me. Its as sweet as my wish. He appreciated my command of language, and every time we were together, he looked at me with a very special look. That vision seems to penetrate my soul, let my heart crisp, warm!
I lost too much happiness, eager to compensate with marriage. Two months later, I married Horwitz at a hotel near the Chung Ching Memorial Hall in Taipei. The day before I got married, I met his parents. My mother-in-law prepared a red envelope for me and bought me a set of Chinese cheongsam. We took wedding photos seriously. Three days after his marriage, he returned to the United States.
That summer vacation, I also returned to California, which had been a long time away.
When I appeared in front of him, Horwitz looked at me coldly, like a hard and cold iceberg. He was afraid that I would take him to court, saying that he could compensate for my economic loss. It turns out that he married me with premeditation. His wife is a planner, in order to obtain legal status in the United States, to join the United States.
Its the surest way to find people like you. There have been many successful examples of how quickly you can get American citizenship through marriage. I have almost nothing in the United States, and I have to do it, Horwitz explained
But I have been deeply involved in this love, can not stop tears, for the first time in my life I begged a man: you and your wife immediately break up, we live together, you are my husband, I can forget your marriage, I can forgive you anything!
Oh, you are too simple. Emotion is just a means. I love you just for my needs. You are so infatuated. Its really amazing
I cant help it. How can American women be so serious as you? Make a little sacrifice for my future He suddenly knelt down in front of me, tears streaming.
I left this man and returned to NTU in a very gloomy mood. Then I continued my studies at NTU for another two years.
In December 1997, when the Christmas bell rang, I had returned to the United States. At that time, the sadness and pain seemed to have gone away from me, but I still think of the man in my heart and the man who once gave me passion. If he is willing to marry me sincerely, I must seize the opportunity to become his wife. How hopeless I am!
After five years of study, I got a masters degree from Taiwan University of California. I applied for a job teaching Chinese Modern Chinese at the University of California, Berkeley. While teaching, I was preparing to apply for a Ph.D. student. In July 2000, I was admitted to the Department of East Asia, University of California, Berkeley. Soon I applied for a $20000 scholarship. In May 2001, I came to Shanghai to continue my doctoral program.
It is said that my fathers fortune has changed and he has obtained true love after he left home. A dignified and virtuous female doctor married him and bought a villa with her own savings for them to spend their old age peacefully. Im really happy for him.
Shanghai landlady, my bosom friend
Shanghai is a place that I always dream of. Compared with going to Taiwan eight years ago, I found that I had grown up and matured. During my first week in Shanghai, I couldnt find a house and stayed in a hostel near the Bund. Every night, I always open my curious eyes to see the dazzling windows, the noisy crowd and the busy shoppers on Nanjing Road. Compared with the prosperity of the outside world, my heart is still empty.
A week later, I found a French apartment on Fahuazhen road. The hostess showed me around. The house is decorated very special, pink walls, Spanish style furniture, and a lot of mahogany furnishings, a combination of Chinese and western, both fresh and romantic. I immediately decided to rent this house. Although the rent of 2800 yuan a month is a little higher, it is much cheaper than that in the United States and Taiwan.
I moved in happily. The next morning, when I got up, I opened the door and found the landlady. She said hello to me kindly, and her six-year-old daughter made a face at me.
Yinghui, we can meet each other every day. If you are busy, you can throw the clothes to me for washing, and I can make the food, as long as you like. Do you live here, too? Didnt you rent your house to me I looked at them in confusion. She opened the attic door with a smile. Look! We live here!
I looked over. It turned out that it was a dark room of 7 square meters, only 1.5 meters high. I looked at her in surprise and couldnt speak for a long time. That night, I invited my landlady to have dinner in the famous Tao Tao Japanese style restaurant in Shanghai. She refused. At my repeated requests, she took her daughter with her. During the dinner, she told me her story with tears.
My husband left Shanghai for the United States five years ago and has not returned home. He went to Dallas for graduate school.
But as soon as I graduated, there was no news. In the past five years, he has never borne a cent of living expenses for his children, so I have to rent the house. I only have a monthly salary of more than 800 yuan. Its hard for my daughter to learn foreign languages and piano. Her voice poured into my heart like a stream of ice. When she spoke, she seemed helpless and soon began to smile. The smile was so brilliant that I was deeply infected by her.
Everyone has their own privacy. According to American custom, I dont want to pry too much. But after a few days, I sleep until midnight, suddenly like a nightmare awakened, how can not sleep. I got up and opened the door, staring at the small attic across the door.
I came forward and tapped on the door. The landlady heard that I was knocking and opened the door. She is a smart person and knows that there must be something in my heart that I cant put down. As we sat on the carpet and looked at each other, I finally said, my Taiwanese husband is also in the United States. For six years, I cant forget him, but I cant be with him. He used me to gain American citizenship For six years, Ive been wandering in pain, and Ill never get out of that mans emotional swamp.
When she saw my absence, she lowered her head and murmured, when he married me, he also took a fancy to what I could use, because my uncle was in America. He used to have a lot of girlfriends, and they all blew up. After I got married, I soon had a baby. He asked me to have a abortion, but I loved this man so much that I didnt agree. I guarantee that he went to the United States through my uncle. When he was studying, his uncle paid all the expenses. Unexpectedly, he cheated my uncle out of a large amount of bank deposit. My uncle only worked as a waiter in a Chinese restaurant, and his life savings were not much. For money, my uncle also made a special trip from the United States to Shanghai and asked me what I wanted to give him! At that time, my husband had already made up his mind to abandon our mother and daughter! He ran away soon after he got the money She breathed a sigh of relief and continued: I saw this man clearly. I had already awakened. I didnt let myself have any nostalgia for him. I loved him like crazy. But our marriage was doomed to die at the beginning. Last November, I filed for a divorce to the court. Because of the foreign-related divorce proceedings, I need to send a court summons through diplomatic channels. In July 2001, I could Divorce granted.
Her words made me feel as if a breeze was blowing on my face. I should forget the past, forget the illusory feelings, and cheer up! I clenched her hand and said, I didnt expect that our destinies are so similar, but our ways of dealing with things are so different.
The next day, I called Horwitz. I wanted to divorce him. I hadnt called him for two years. His wife received a call from me and was speechless for a long time. Finally, she said, howitz is suffering from AIDS and died in March this year. I was twitching, and then I felt relaxed again. I finally return to reality, will never be unreal things net, I am glad!
But I havent decided whether to go back to work in the United States in the future. In fact, I dream of finding a good Shanghai man. If one day my wish can come true, I will give up going back to America.
Soon, the landlady found me a university lecturer who is engaged in psychological research. After we met, he said, I would like to marry an American woman who works or studies in Shanghai as my wife. Well, you dont want to go to America? either
Want to use me to become an American? What I said confused him, and I couldnt help feeling that he was too reckless. Once bitten by a snake, Im afraid of the well rope for ten years. Im so afraid of meeting someone like Horwitz.
Shanghai will open a new chapter in my life! I love Shanghai, I love life!